5 Reasons Why Dominant Women Are Often Very Submissive In Bed

Today's woman is a boss but can still have conflicting personality characteristics. One minute she's making tough decisions about her business, and the next, she's being completely open and vulnerable to a partner. Nobody is any one way; we're all made up of strengths and weakness, and it's empowering for a strong, dominant woman to express all aspects of herself, including between the sheets.

In a piece on Elite Daily, writer Zara Barrie says, "We are females who simultaneously own our strength and our vulnerability, our sensuality, our ferocity and our flaws. One of the most powerful acts of radicalness a woman can engage in is to feel confident in her desire, regardless of how 'weird' or 'wrong' those fantasies are deemed by society."

It's not considered shocking when a powerful man wants to be dominated, so why is the reverse so surprising? If a dominant woman wants to be taken and dominated in the bedroom, it doesn't mean she isn't a feminist, or weak, or someone who has to depend on someone else.

Wanting to be dominated in the bedroom just means that may be what she likes or what she wants to explore. You can be hardwired to respond to being tied up and disciplined, and still be totally in control in the real world. 

The need to be dominated and to dominate aren't mutually exclusive. Barrie wants women to be whatever they want without shame. "Those of us femme-fatales whose very existence is defined by our unyielding ability to dominate in the streets ... we are unexpectedly turned on by being submissive in the sheets." Here's why a dominant woman may want to be submissive in the bedroom.

1. She finds it appealing to be wanted and desired.

We want to be wanted. In an article on The Huffington Post, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach says, "Women want to hear more than anything: 'I desire you. I want to be physical with you. Your beauty is overwhelming to me. I cannot control myself around you. I find myself thinking about you constantly and I have to have you. I don't care what the consequences are.'"

2. She is with a partner she trusts completely. 

Barrie writes, "We can't play unless we're in a safe environment; we can't tap into our sensuality when we're being hurt or used. Our relationships are rooted in respect — if they weren't, then we wouldn't feel empowered by dominance."

3. She is wanting to explore fantasies.

Trying new things and exploring your fantasies is a healthy part of life. A study conducted by the University of Granada found that having fantasies is extremely important in the bedroom, and fantasies can help with anxiety and improve one's intimate life. Being able to freely talk about and act on a fantasy helps eliminate any negativity that might be associated with it.

4. She wants some creativity in bed

Barrie writes, "We can't micro-manage or compartmentalize creativity. Once we are tapped into that side of ourselves, it overflows into all parts of our lives, intimacy included."

5. She may find relief in relinquishing power.

Always being in control and powerful is exhausting, no matter how good at it you might be.

Barrie puts it best: "Sometimes, at the end of the day, we just want someone else to call the shots — to take us with a reckless abandon and steer the ship."