11 Signs Your Co-worker Has Zero Life Outside Of Work And It's Annoying Everyone Around Them
PeopleImages | ShutterstockWhile having a strong relationship with your career and crafting meaning in the workplace can be important, someone who makes their entire personality their job sets everyone up for failure. Especially when their self-worth is dependent on performance, validation, and success at work, the second something goes wrong, it’s a personal attack that disrupts their whole life.
Even if you set healthy boundaries and are careful about protecting your personal time, there are many signs your co-worker has zero life outside of work and it’s annoying everyone around them. From being pressured to work outside of regular hours and being stressed daily, their lack of balance negatively affects everyone in their circle.
Here are 11 signs your co-worker has zero life outside of work and it’s annoying everyone around them
1. They rarely talk about their family
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According to psychology professor Gwendolyn Seidman, small talk and conversations can genuinely make us happier and less stressed, especially in the workplace, where people are prone to independence and isolation. By speaking about personal lives and shared experiences outside the workplace, co-workers not only feel more secure and happy, but they also humanize themselves in an institution that thrives by taking away people’s sense of self.
However, if a co-worker doesn’t have a life outside of work, they may actively annoy everyone else by sabotaging these casual conversations. From “we have work to do” to hyper-focusing on work when people are sharing about their weekends, they rarely contribute to these conversations about families and hobbies, because they have nothing to add.
2. They consistently stay late
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People who have zero lives outside of work don’t just avoid taking time off, they also consistently spend more time at the office and stay late after everyone else goes home. While others resort to personal relationships, routines, and hobbies for a sense of purpose, these co-workers find it all in the office, making it hard to set boundaries.
According to a study from Community, Work & Family, the excuse of “it’s just my personality” is commonly used by people to justify their long work hours. Whether they’re avoiding someone or something at home or simply finding purpose in working without a life outside of work, they use these justifications to seem “better” or “more worthy” of success, even if it’s sabotaging their well-being.
3. They reach out after working hours
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A study from the Journal of Communication Management argues that after-work communication and overstepping of boundaries into personal time can often prompt emotional exhaustion and burnout in workers. So, even if a co-worker without a personal life feels more fulfilled by bringing their work home, expecting others to do the same only isolates and annoys people trying to appreciate their free time.
On top of that, these people are more likely to disrespect others' availability and time off, overstepping and reaching out, even after it’s been made clear that someone’s not available when they’re not in the office.
4. They operate from a place of urgency
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People who feed into a false sense of urgency at work cultivate a “reactive culture” where employees are always operating from an overworked, anxious standpoint. They’re not supported in delegating tasks or prioritizing their energy, but instead expect to complete everything immediately and strain their work-life boundaries to account for an urgent task that could actually wait.
People who have no real lives outside of work may not mind feeling “important” in this urgent-focused culture at work, but with their co-workers, it only makes life harder.
5. They overshare often
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While oversharing can sometimes prompt bonding over shared experiences and humanize workers in the office, researcher Jennifer Carson Marr argues that this kind of self-disclosure is often harmful. Not only does a perceived weakness from oversharing negatively affect status, respect, and general perceptions amongst co-workers, but it also blurs the line between their professional and personal lives.
Despite being the goal for many co-workers who have zero personal life to protect or share, this kind of oversharing in search of belonging at work can further isolate people who don’t have other relationships to turn to.
6. They stretch out meetings and conversations
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People who “quick chat” into long-winded conversations and regularly host meetings that could have been emails are likely compensating for having little to no personal life outside of work. They don’t have people, relationships, or hobbies to go home to, so finding belonging and creating purpose stems from the connections they try to chase at work.
Of course, not only does this “meeting overload” tend to over-stress their co-workers, but it also further blurs the lines of work-life boundaries and places people in uncomfortable positions in their meetings at work.
7. They tie productivity to success
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Instead of managing their energy and delegating tasks in healthy ways, people who make their jobs their entire personality believe productivity is their route to success. They’re always overworking themselves, staying late, and taking on too many projects, all to justify their relationship with work and seek validation.
Not only does that make them more exhausting and stressful to be around, but they tend to hold other people to the same unrealistic, unsustainable expectations.
8. They’re passive-aggressive to people with boundaries
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When someone places all their self-worth and fulfillment into their careers, they may start to expect the same kinds of effort, boundaries, and standards from their co-workers. They don’t understand work-life boundaries in other people because they don’t have a personal life to attend to or protect. Their sense of self and meaning comes from work, so the longer they can stay and the more they can urge co-workers to lean in, the better.
Of course, it’s these kinds of unsustainable expectations that lead to burnout for most people. While the exhaustion and chronic stress they feel might compound slowly over time, it’s often at the hands of a boss or co-worker who doesn’t understand or respect their humanity outside of the office.
9. They adopt the ‘family’ mindset
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While the “family” mindset at work might intend to create a safe space for co-workers to feel important and comfortable, it’s often weaponized to encourage them to overwork themselves and overstep their work-life balance.
A study from the Journal of Organizational Culture found that nearly all workers in this “family-style” culture experienced a 27% increase in blurred work-life boundaries, feeling pressured to stay late, answer emails at home, and say “yes” to projects they didn’t have the bandwidth to handle. Co-workers who don’t have a family or personal life to return to after work may appreciate this misleading culture for its sense of belonging, but in the end, it’s only annoying and draining for everyone around them.
10. They rarely take breaks
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Despite often boosting productivity and task efficiency at work, as a PLOS One study explains, taking breaks feels like a waste of time for people who place all their self-worth in success at work. They brag about behaviors that burn co-workers out and refuse to take a break when they’re working, all because they need to feel important and superior to internally gratify themselves.
In some cases, these workers even avoid rest and feel guilty taking breaks because their bosses’ validation means more than their personal energy levels and well-being.
11. They have a weird sense of pride in overworking
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Considering co-workers with zero life outside of work often gain importance, misguided belonging, and interaction from the workplace, it’s not surprising that their work-life boundaries are unsustainably skewed. They have a weird sense of pride and a feeling of superiority for working late and overworking themselves, often because the institution prides itself on pushing people into burnout in ways that sabotage their co-workers' well-being.
Of course, everyone is annoyed by this weird sense of pride, because it urges them to adopt and appreciate habits and behaviors at work that directly harm their sense of well-being.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
