4 Rare Personality Traits That Make People Fall In Love

Has this year been a year of emotional overwhelm for you? How have you handled your strong emotions? Emotions are a powerful force and part of your evolutionary process. When you deny your uncomfortable emotions, you deny your soul’s growth.

People do't fall in love because someone is perfect. They fall in love because of how a person makes them feel. Beyond chemistry and shared interests, there are a few rare personality traits that create intrigue an ddep connection, and they're powerful enough to draw someone in. If you've ever wondered why certain people seem to inspire love almost effortlessly, these uncommon traits may be the reason. 

Here are 4 rare personality traits that make people fall in love:

1. Someone who's tuned into their emotions

When you're triggered and experiencing strong emotions, your logical brain literally goes offline, and you become reactive. For some people, they shut down. Others lash out. What is it for you?

There are negative behaviors that disconnect and even destroy your relationships, including the relationship you have with yourself. Whether it’s yelling at someone, giving someone the silent treatment, or turning to self-destructive behavior, emotional awareness is developed by first noticing.

When strong emotions arise, you become "unconscious." By doing this first step, you bring more consciousness to unconscious and disempowering behavior. Research found that self-aware people scored 46 points higher on managing their emotions compared to people who weren't tuned in. When you actually know what you're feeling, you handle tough situations way better instead of just shutting down or blowing up.

2. Someone who can express their feelings

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Noticing is half the battle. Instead of automatically reacting to highly emotional situations unconsciously, noticing shifts the energy and allows you to take a different path. Name the uncomfortable feeling you’re having. Your emotions (or feelings) are vast and many. There are many emotions, and your emotional state fluctuates throughout the day. To simplify, there are six different types of emotions: sad, mad, glad, fear, numbness, and shame.

Bring your attention to your body, take a deep breath, and name the feeling you experience. What type of feeling is it, and where are you feeling it in your body? "Numbness" is actually devoid of feeling, but it's included here because, often, when people start learning how to feel their feelings, the first feeling they feel is numbness.

Brain scans showed that simply saying "I'm frustrated" or "I'm anxious" literally calms your brain's alarm system and kicks your rational thinking into gear. It's like flipping a switch from reactive mode to thoughtful mode, where you can actually make better choices.

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3. Someone who is self-compassionate

Once you've shifted your focus by noticing your behavior and naming the feeling and its location in your body, the next step is to nurture it. Your emotions are in your body. It’s like a screaming baby that wants your attention. You wouldn’t tell a crying baby to "get over it," would you? You’d nurture the baby.

Emotions need the same thing. They want your undivided attention. They don’t want to be repressed, pushed away, or denied.

Take another deep breath. Place your hands on your heart, belly, or wherever the emotional pain is. This is where your stuck emotions are. Hold it. Be present with it. Breathe deeply into it. Give this emotional pain your undivided attention and then go to the final step.

Studies found that people who treat themselves kindly handle relationship problems way better because they've got more emotional resilience to work with. They report higher relationship quality because they can balance their own needs with their partner's instead of getting all defensive when things get rough.

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4. Someone who understands their own needs

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This step is the gift you get by paying attention to your emotions instead of denying them. Now that you’ve done the first three steps and are being there for yourself emotionally, you can ask yourself, "What do I need?"

Anytime you’re feeling uncomfortable, it means you have an unmet need. It’s really that simple. Not your need to have someone be different from who they are. It’s about discovering your core needs.

Research showed that your emotions are basically messengers telling you what you need. When people figure out what their uncomfortable feelings are actually pointing to, they can fix the real problem instead of just reacting to whatever's on the surface.

For example, you may need gentleness, patience, space, cleanliness, or clarity. Becoming aware of your core need in any emotional situation will center you and set you on a more productive course in handling the situation.

Emotions are energy in motion. Paying attention to them is important. Society has taught us how to repress them instead of understanding their purpose and why they arise. That’s what causes emotional overwhelm — the inability to deal with emotional situations in a productive way. So, instead, you deny them, often not even realizing it.

In these scenarios, the only acceptable emotions are "positive" emotions. But you have a full range of emotions, and they're ever-changing. Negative emotions are just as valid and important as positive emotions. And being emotional doesn’t mean you’re weak.

Your emotions are part of your guidance system — letting you know when something’s not quite right. Gaining access to this guidance system will free you from emotional overwhelm. In emotional situations, do you say to yourself, "I shouldn’t feel that way," or "It’s no big deal"? You're denying your feelings and disempowering yourself.

It’s actually through feeling your feelings and understanding what’s underneath them that you will free yourself from the overwhelm. It’s not about trying not to feel. Instead, it’s about learning how to get better at feeling. Knowing your core needs and focusing on that instead of the drama is the key to your emotional empowerment and mental health.

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Anna-Thea is an author and certified divine feminine educator who educates people on how to claim their power lovingly.