Mom Of 3 Questions Whether She Should Move In With Her Ex-Husband & His Wife To Help Raise Their Kids
PeopleImages / ShutterstockA mom of three sparked an online debate after admitting that she was thinking about potentially moving in with her ex-husband and his wife. While co-parenting is not always easy, opening the door to living with your ex seemed worse to outsiders looking in.
In a TikTok video, 33-year-old Katie Mathis, an influencer and photographer, stressed that she wasn't sure about taking the plunge for obvious reasons, but claimed there were also benefits to having her children live in a stable household with both parents present.
Parenting is hard, and co-parenting is even harder. But dealing with co-parenting while living with your ex-partner? It might sound like a nightmare to some, but it's a reality that this mom is actually facing.
A mom turned to social media to share the tough decision she is making about potentially living with her ex-husband and his wife.
"My ex-husband and his wife just invited me to move into their house with them," Mathis began in her video. The ex-husband she's referring to is Evan Mathis, a former NFL player whom she divorced in 2018, who is now married to his current wife, Katelynn Mathis.
She explained that she technically wouldn't be living under the same roof as them, since they have a detached apartment on the side of their house that would become hers. Still, it's not an easy decision to make, which Mathis pointed out.
"Do I move in with them and help raise the children full-time?" she questioned. "So that we can actually have our babies with us all of the time."
In the comments section, people were evenly divided on whether they agreed that this was a good idea, especially for Katie and her ex-husband's children, while others issued warnings that it could easily be a recipe for disaster.
"As a child of divorced parents with constant moving back and forth this would have been amazing!" one TikTok user wrote, while another user agreed, adding, "Definitely do it. Since you all get along it would be so amazing and stable for the kids. I’m a child of divorce and I WISH my parents were like this."
However, others weren't as enthused. "Absolutely not — too many conflicts of interest and room for issues to pop up — finances, emotions, etc.," a third user chimed in.
The mom shared the pros and cons list she created to help her make the decision.
In a follow-up video, she went through some of the pros and cons that she had come up with after being invited to move in with her ex-husband and his wife. The first con, which Katie pointed out, was pretty self-explanatory: she would once again be living with her ex-husband, which could be damaging if not handled correctly. Another con was her inability to have any individual space to raise her children without the constant input of her ex-husband and his wife.
She acknowledged that her cons list was rather short compared to her pros list: renting out her old house as a form of income, and giving her kids the stability of one home.
It seems Katie's pros and cons list worked as she quickly announced to her followers that she had officially decided to move in with her ex-husband and his wife. In an interview with Insider, Katie explained that the idea of her three kids having a consistent environment was what ultimately convinced her, as was the fact that she has a healthy relationship with both her ex and his wife.
"It's better to do this together," she explained, adding that her partner of a year and a half is also supportive of her decision. She told the publication that, to avoid any conflict among the three of them, they created a "binder" outlining the logistics of their arrangement.
It can be extremely hard on both parents and kids to navigate having a blended family.
While some people may disagree with Katie's overall choice, it definitely shows an unwavering, selfless commitment to putting her kids first, above any personal discomfort or societal expectations.
According to Psychology Today, "Children benefit from emotionally stable parents — adults who are recuperated enough, in the case of divorce, to focus on the basic job of parenting, including establishing stability, exercising fair discipline, providing love and being emotionally responsive."
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However, for many divorced couples, living together isn't necessarily an option. Whether it be for financial or emotional reasons, some parents aren't able to co-parent in the same house. Psychology Today also shared, "Children do well when they have good relationships with both parents or primary caregivers, adults who basically get along. But those parents don’t need to be married or living in the same house."
Co-parenting after divorce is a complex and challenging endeavor, and what one person chooses to do to alleviate that stress shouldn't be criticized. Each person's decision is their own, and no one knows what will be best other than the people involved.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
