If You Say 11 Phrases On A Regular Basis, Your Parents Did An Great Job Raising You
PeopleImages | Shutterstock Self-esteem, the foundation of confidence, stems from the messages our parents shared with us while we succeeded and failed trying new things growing up. Your parents raised you with the confidence to speak up for what's right and set boundaries, all while helping others and asking for help when you need it yourself. If you're strong enough to say these phrases, there's no doubt your parents raised you well.
If you find yourself saying these phrases, your parents did an great job
1. ‘I've got this’
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Your parents did a great job raising you if you feel confident enough to face fears and still say, "I've got this" or "I can do this" to yourself.
There’s no way to know how our lives will unfold, but we will always face challenges. There will be things we're afraid of, but in order to succeed and truly grow as humans, we need to overcome the most important ones.
Learning how to trust in yourself and your abilities might take a lifetime, but it starts by giving yourself a pep talk when you feel too scared or intimidated to do something you truly wish you could. Then you can start confidently telling others you're up for challenges, and they'll believe you. Once you know you can do something hard, that confidence will radiate out.
2. ‘This is hard, but I've done hard things before'
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Your parents did a great job raising you if you can recognize when something is hard and still push through to do it. often. Embodying the idea that you’re strong and capable is often easier said than done, yet the more you tell yourself this phrase, the more you believe it to be true.
Confident people learn how to be that way by believing they can do hard things and reminding themselves of this fact regularly. They also let go of the idea that they have to do it perfectly in order to succeed, which helps them complete tasks and challenges and gain self-esteem from the process.
Tackling the tough stuff requires people to draw from wells of inner strength they may not have uncovered yet, yet the very act of pushing themselves to do hard things shows just how capable they are.
3. ‘I'm so grateful for you / what you do'
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It’s easy to overlook the people in our lives, even the ones we care about most. If your parents raised you to express appreciation, they did a good job raising you to be a conscientious, considerate adult who tells people they're grateful for them them and their contributions.
To be clear, there's a difference between showing people that you appreciate them and simply recognizing their contributions. At The Greater Good Science Center’s 2017 conference, “Gratitude and Well-Being at Work,” leadership expert Mike Robbins outlined the distinction between recognition and appreciation.
“Recognition is actually positive feedback based on results, based on performance. It’s about what we do,” he explains. “Appreciation is more about recognizing people’s value. It’s about who we are. Appreciation is about people, recognition is about results.”
Robbins references a study from Haas Business School, which noted that when people who were recognized for their work were 23% more productive. The same study found that “when people felt valued and cared about and appreciated for who they are, particularly by their direct supervisor, they were 43% more productive.”
When you tell people you're grateful for their work, their friendship or their partnership you're truly appreciating them as human beings. That's a big sign your parents did an outstanding job.
4. ‘I’m worthy of more’
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Your parents were fantastic if they raised you to say (to yourself or others!) that you are worthy of more: more love, more fidelity or more connection or whatever it is you dream of.
Researcher and author Brené Brown shared a profoundly moving insight on Instagram a few years ago that still resonates with me. It's that the one belief that lies at the core of a whole-hearted life: worthiness.
“The greatest challenge for most of us is believing that we are worthy now; right this minute,” she explained. “Worthiness doesn’t have prerequisites. So many of us have knowingly created, unknowingly allowed, or been handed down a long list of worthiness prerequisites: I'll be worthy if everyone thinks I'm a good parent... I'll be worthy if I can hold my marriage together... I'll be worthy when I make more money.”
“Here's what is truly at the heart of Wholeheartedness: worthy now. Not if. Not when,” Brown declared. “We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.”
We tend to forget that self-love is the basis for all other forms of love. We can’t be fully loving in our friendships and partnerships without loving ourselves first. If you tell yourself that you’re worthy of love, exactly as you are now, your parents did a good job raising you.
5. ‘I like who I am’
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Self-acceptance and genuine self-love are key parts of happiness, but there’s another piece of the puzzle that’s harder to reach but even more challenging to achieve: Liking yourself.
The differences between liking yourself and loving yourself might seem inconsequential, yet it’s one thing to acknowledge your worthiness and a whole other thing to truly like who you are. Feeling genuinely at home in your identity is rare and so special. It's also a sign your parents worked hard to make sure you knew they liked you, too.
Liking yourself means that you cherish time alone at least as much as being with friends, because you enjoy your own company. It means doing things that bring you joy, just for joy’s sake. You actively make time to sit with yourself and engage in your hobbies and friends who buoy you.
When you truly like yourself, you’re essentially saying, “I am enough right now and I trust myself to keep growing into the person I want to be.”
6. ‘I’m sorry, I misunderstood’
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Your parents did a good job raising you if you say the phrase “I’m sorry, I misunderstood” when communication starts feeling murky. Saying this phrase highlights that you’re self-assured enough to admit making mistakes. It shows that you’re willing to take ownership over your actions, because you know that doing something wrong doesn’t define you.
It’s not always easy to separate yourself from the mistakes you’ve made, but that separation is what allows you to fully internalize the idea that mistakes don’t make you a bad person. Messing up in one specific situation doesn't automatically mean you’re a failure, it just means you’re human.
If you’re able to apologize in the moment and course-correct for next time, it shows you fully understand that mistakes are an unavoidable part of learning, growing, and expanding as a person.
7. ‘Thanks for that perspective’
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Thanking people for their perspective is a meaningful way to let others know we hear them and appreciate them, even when we disagree or are focused on different goals.
It's a sign your parents emphasized the value of expression and learning from another, an outstanding lesson no matter who you are. Being able to hear other points of view and validate those experiences, even if we disagree, is a sign you have intellectual humility and a deeply-rooted sense of respect for others.
Holding space for people you disagree with shows that you’re genuinely interested in understanding where they’re coming from. If you’re able to express gratitude for hearing perspectives that oppose your own, your parents did a great job raising you.
8. ‘Let me know how I can make improvements’
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Believing in yourself means you trust in your ability to set goals and achieve them. It also means acknowledging that there’s always room for self-improvement, which pushes you to grow and become your most authentic self.
Psychotherapist Bylander Walia revealed the “profound, transformative power of self-belief,” which she defined as “the deep conviction in one's abilities, potential, and intrinsic worth.”
“Self-belief provides the confidence to set ambitious goals, take risks, and persist through adversity,” she explained. “It drives an individual's motivation to challenge themselves and seek continuous improvement,” as it “allows us to break free from our comfort zones, confront challenges, and transform setbacks into opportunities for growth.”
Self-belief doesn't just arrive fully-formed. It’s something people create with intentional action. Shifting your mindset to see challenges as stepping stones for growth, rather than roadblocks, helps you embrace the learning curve.
9. ‘I really value our relationship’
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It doesn't matter whether you're colleagues, friends or romantic, letting people know you value the relationship you have is an incredible gift. Saying, "I really value our partnership in this project here at work" or "I deeply value what you bring to my life as a partner" or "I really value you as a friend" are all brave things to say.
Taking the time and care to express appreciation for others shows that you’re emotionally aware enough to name your feelings and strong enough to be vulnerable. Sharing your innermost feelings is scary, even when those feelings are based in love.
Saying “I really value our relationship” often shows that your parents taught you to pay attention to what really matters: the connections you have with other people. It also shows that you are secure enough to make yourself vulnerable in this way.
When you tell someone how much you value them, it creates an opportunity for the connection you share with them to grow deeper and more profound as you open your heart. Or, in a professional setting, it allows your colleague to know you value them and helps them hold you in high esteem, as well.
10. ‘I need some help’
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Asking for support goes against our instincts to be independent and tough, but it's one of the most important skills a parent can teach their children The idea of opening up and saying, “I’m having a hard time” can be so anxiety-provoking that people often choose to suffer silently, rather than making themselves vulnerable by seeking support.
On the Greater Good Science Center’s podcast, “The Science of Happiness,” social psychology professor Vanessa Bohns discussed the very real, human fear of asking for help.
“People will bend over backwards in real life to sort of avoid asking for things, right? They’ll try to do everything themselves when they could very simply often get help or do it more easily if they just ask someone quickly,” she said.
“People are just more happy to help than we realize— that people do get this warm glow from helping. People enjoy being helpful. And so, we also underestimate how much people actually do enjoy helping other people,” she concluded.
Asking for help shows real strength. more than most people realize.
11. ‘I’m so proud of you’
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Your parents did a great job raising you if you say the phrase “I’m so proud of you” to people in your life. Saying this phrase shows that you’re able to acknowledge the accomplishments of others without comparing yourself to them. You can experience real joy when others win.
You actively reject the scarcity mindset. You’re fully aware that celebrating other people is a way to access joy and nourish your relationships. It’s these things that give your life meaning, proving that your parents did a great job raising you.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
