5 Reasons The Loudest, Messiest Parts Of Raising Boys End Up Meaning The Most
ZR10 | ShutterstockI had a conversation with my friend whose son is a very active toddler. We discussed how she'd always wanted to have a girl. Growing up, we were both girly girls, excited about tutus, hair bows, and anything pink. So when the doctor said, "It's a boy!", she was really surprised.
"A boy? Really? Are you sure?"
"Oh yes," the doctor said. "Definitely a boy."
Deep down, she was happy that her baby was healthy, but quietly she thought, What am I going to do with a boy? How am I going to navigate a world I know nothing of?
After her son was born, all her worries and fears went out the window. Of course, she knew that he was the most beautiful baby she had ever seen. (Shouldn’t every mom think that?)
As her son grew, she realized that being the mom of a son is the best thing that has ever happened to her. Her son showed her daily how he thinks, how he sees the world, and what's exciting to him. She gets to see the world in a new way thanks to the loud, messy experience that comes from raising a boy.
Here are 5 reasons the loudest, messiest parts of raising boys end up meaning the most:
1. You get to play with all the cool, messy toys
Most women grew up playing with baby dolls, dress-up clothes, and toy ponies. If you only had a sister (or no siblings), your entire childhood was likely restricted to the world of "girl toys." As a mom of a son, it's exciting to play with all the toys that we didn't get to play with as young girls.
Having a son gives women an opportunity (and excuse) to get dirty, make a mess, and dump out all the blocks — only to clean them up again. Taking a son to the local Fire Station to "Ooohh" and "Ahhhh" at the big machines and all the working parts is fun for both son and mom.
Playing alongside your child, especially in physical, hands-on ways, does more than pass the time. Dr. Sharon Saline, a clinical psychologist, explained that humor and playful engagement between parent and child create genuine connection and help both parties feel better when things get stressful.
And while a lot is changing for today's kids, with boys and girls now playing with toys of all varieties (gender restrictions be forgotten), that wasn't the case in our day. So, if you're a girl who missed out on playing with "boy toys" as a kid, raising a son now grants you a childhood do-over to finally enjoy that play experience.
2. Everything is funny
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With boys, everything is funny. Burps, farts, mud, banging your head, and falling. Yep, all of it is hilarious. A boy can take the simplest moments and turn them into a full-blown comedy routine. They love to laugh and love making other people laugh.
A Penn State study found that over 70% of adults viewed humor as an effective parenting tool, and 63% of those who reported strong relationships with their parents said humor was a regular part of how they were raised. A boy who can make you laugh in the middle of a chaotic morning is doing you a favor you probably don't fully appreciate until later.
In the most stressful moments of getting everyone dressed and out the door, a son will find a way to lighten the mood. His laughter is contagious and can help you reset and laugh along with him.
3. Raising boys helps you interact with the world in new ways
Boys experience the world differently. It’s true. You probably never knew how far a cherry tomato could squirt its seeds until your son shows you. A boy is so curious to know how the world around him works, and what impact he has on it, that they'll squeeze and jump on everything.
Why? Well, according to human behavior, parenting, and education expert Dr. Gail Gross, boys are wired differently. "Boys have more of their cerebral cortex defined for spatial relationships," she said. "As a result, they learn easily through movement and visual experience."
As a result, boys need movement and different visual experiences to learn all about their upside-down and backwards world. Moms can jump right in and learn more about the spatial world by joining their son in play, and a great adventure awaits everyone!
Boys aren't just being reckless when they need to squeeze, jump on, and disassemble everything in sight. Research on children's spatial development shows that physical movement is fundamental to how young children build spatial reasoning, learn about cause and effect, and develop cognitive skills that come later in life.
4. Raising boys makes those hugs and snuggles feel extra-special
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A boy is always on the go, always busy. Busy with toys that need to make noise, diving into nooks to explore, and finding items to disassemble. In a new environment, there is a brand new adventure waiting for them around every corner.
Boys have such excitement and enthusiasm that they're nearly always moving. But then — out of the blue — they'll run up to you and jump in your lap.
Clinical social worker Chamin Ajjan noted that there are real, documented benefits to hugging your child, including relieving stress for both of you, building trust, boosting their self-esteem, and reinforcing their sense of safety. Cherish those 15 seconds with everything you have, because as fast as he jumped in your lap, he's gone again.
They will tackle you and give you the world’s biggest bear hug. Those moments can seem few and far between, so cherish those 15 seconds with all your heart, because as quickly as they jump in your lap, they’re off again exploring the world.
Writer and mom of three boys, LJ Charleston says, "Think about giving your boys the freedom to be tender and soft. They might surprise you." Because when they do surprise you, they are so sweet and gentle.
5. They always need their mama
Whether your son is five or 35, a little boy always needs his mama. You're the best at kissing boo boos, scaring away monsters, giving sound advice, or cooking your special recipes.
According to marriage and family therapist Lianne Avila, one of the most important things parents can do is take delight in their child and play an active role in their lives, because that presence and consistent encouragement are what shape how a child sees himself and what he believes he is capable of. The "I believe in you" that comes from mom lands in a way nothing else quite does.
There is no greater cheerleader for a child than his mom, who loves him to the moon and back. And even though his needs may change from day-to-day, your son will always need you to tell him, "It will all be OK," "I believe in you," and "I love you, no matter what."
Jennie Marie Norgaard is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She is the founder of Hope Therapy Center, and her vision has always been to provide a therapeutic space where healing is rooted in depth, authenticity, and lasting transformation.
