10 Rules Parents In The 60s & 70s Enforced That Gen Z Thinks Are Actually Horrible
fotoak / ShutterstockMany Gen Zers are doing a full circle on parenting styles, trading in millennials' gentle parenting techniques for old-school consequences.
Even so, Gen Z would think many of the rules that parents enforced when their kids were growing up in the 60s and 70s are truly horrible if they saw them put into practice now. While Gen Z seems to "prioritize preparing their child for the real world," they don't necessarily agree that the way baby boomers and the silent generation spent those decades as authoritarian forces pushing their children forward at all costs is the right way to go about it.
Here are 10 rules parents in the 60s and 70s enforced that Gen Z thinks are actually horrible
1. Kids should follow and obey authority
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What is considered typical in regard to family dynamics shifts over time. Even in the 1960s, the nuclear family structure was shifting as more women entered the workforce. However, during this time, most parents operated under a hierarchical family structure, where men led the household and held authority over their children.
Most children back then knew all too well that the rules stated they were expected to respect their elders and to obey authority figures, both at home and outside. The “because I said so” mindset was alive and well. Kids didn’t feel like they had freedom to make their own choices or advocate for themselves, at least when their parents were around. Of course, Gen X had far less parental supervision than most kids had before, and more alone time to play, but not much freedom to decide what they were and weren't allowed to do.
2. Everyone cleans their plate at dinner
Like other dining etiquette rules parents from this generation held their kids to, including eating with their elbows off the table or saying grace, cleaning their plate was a nonnegotiable. Especially in a society experiencing the aftershocks of scarcity, wasting food wasn’t a choice.
However, it’s no surprise that Gen Zers today, who not only speak more openly about disordered eating but also the childhood expectations that influenced their relationships with food, reject this kind of thinking. Studies have found that requiring kids to clean their plates is more likely to lead to overconsumption, removing the opportunity for kids to respect their body’s natural cues.
3. Mental health issues are to be swept under the rug
Many people in older generations struggle to speak about mental health issues or ask for help, even to this day, because of the stigma they were raised with. Their parents expected them to stay quiet and sweep any such issues under the rug.
Whether that meant not allowing them to even consider therapy or using harsh phrases like, “I’ll give you something to cry about,” parents of the 60s and 70s largely demonized emotional expression, especially in comparison to the gentler, more emotionally nurturing styles Gen Z and millennials prefer today.
4. Going to church every Sunday is nonnegotiable
Not every household was religious back then, and not every religious family followed Christianity. But regardless of what they believed in, there was a kind of rigidity to practicing spirituality and religion a few decades ago that Gen Z is more likely to avoid.
While some young people are seeking more spirituality in search of meaning and purpose in their lives, their demands for flexibility stand in stark contrast to those of their parents and grandparents. They're less likely to force their kids to go to church or follow the expectations of organized religion as their parents did. Instead, they adopt a more flexible approach to religion and spirituality, and in many cases, they don’t bring it into their homes at all.
5. Kids should figure things out for themselves
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Many parents in the 60s and 70s adopted a mindset that kids should tough it out when things get hard. Parents weren’t in the business of tolerating tantrums or nurturing their kids with grace. They let hardship and challenge shape their kids from a young age, even if making kids learn that kind of lesson is condemned by young people today.
Especially when so many of their Gen X kids spent tons of time alone, they had to emotionally mature on their own early. There was nothing left to do but to figure things out on their own and manage their hurt without immediately turning to a parent.
6. Parents aren’t there to be their kids' friends
Parental warmth and affection predict a child’s well-being and coping skills later in life, and while showing up ethat doesn’t necessarily mean parents have to be best friends with their kids, it does encourage a stronger bond that many Gen Xers missed out on in their own childhoods.
The best parents today understand that there is a place where you can balance between being friends with kids and being entirely emotionally disconnected from them. The mentality that your parent is your leader and ruler, without any kind of warmth or companionship, only fosters more anxiety and disconnection over time, which Gen X often knows better than anyone.
7. Kids should always respect their elders
For Gen Z today, protective of boundaries and open about mental health, it’s not surprising that old-fashioned manners like respecting elders aren’t blindly accepted anymore. Especially when they deny their kids their autonomy and urge them into a belief that age predicts worthiness and safety, it’s not a surprise that these manners are outdated.
However, parents from this time period had a more rigid picture of what respect looked like. Of course, they weren’t actively trying to harm their kids or place them in uncomfortable situations, but expectations like this sometimes made it difficult to protect themselves.
8. Praise and affection are conditional
Many kids growing up in the 60s and 70s were raised in households where relationships with their parents felt transactional. Their love and affection weren’t unconditional, as they’re often expected to be today, but instead were based on success and obedience.
Conditional love from parents affects kids' self-esteem and worthiness in unhealthy ways, and it also creates all kinds of divisions in parental relationships. While it might’ve been normalized a few decades ago, it’s one of the major points of tension that’s sparking the decision for many in Gen Z to go no contact with their parents.
9. Kids shouldn’t be in the house during the day
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While unstructured play and unsupervised time outside do wonders for kids’ development, the idea that kids should spend all of their time outside is unfathomable for most parents today. Especially with access to the news and a million horror stories, most modern parents can’t help but spend most of their time watching over kids to manage their own anxiety.
“Don’t come home until the streetlights are on” was a rule for Gen Xers in the 60s and 70s, but for kids today, it’s a phrase most young kids have never even heard.
10. Anyone can discipline your kids
The concept that it takes a village to raise a child was about far more than sharing groceries or carpooling to school. For parents in the 60s and 70s, it was also about calling out misbehavior and sharing responsibility for discipline between various households in their neighborhood. Anyone could discipline other people’s kids without much concern, whether or not their parents were around.
Of course, rejecting this social norm is somewhat of a primal instinct for most parents today, but in a world where safety concerns and anxiety are skyrocketing due to internet access, there are also many cultural influences. Parents today are more worried about their children's safety in daily life than ever, so perceived boundary oversteps and harsh punishments can feel like a personal attack.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
