People With Amazing Grandparents Usually Learned These 4 Old-Fashioned Relationship Boundaries

When you're on the journey of self-love and healing, people with amazing grandparents were taught that one of the most important aspects of the journey is learning to create healthy boundaries. When we talk about creating boundaries, we often discuss who to cut off or how to do it.

However, creating both successful and healthy boundaries requires more than blocking people from your life, as yee wise old grandparents know. To that point, family therapist Logan Cohen highlights the five essential key areas for establishing these old-fashioned, healthy boundaries in any given relationship.

Our grandparents taught us to set these old-fashioned boundaries in relationships:

1. 'Understand that your time is valuable, so be picky about how you spend it'

Want to create better boundaries for yourself? You need to start getting your time right. Ask, "How much time should I invest in one thing or person?" If you're a workaholic, you might find it hard to juggle your work-life balance. So set boundaries by limiting the time spent outside of working hours responding to emails or phone calls, instead of blurring relationship boundaries.

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2. 'Become comfortable with saying no'

When creating boundaries, you need to decide where your physical boundaries lie. Do you find yourself uncomfortable when people hug you? Or are there specific people you don't like receiving physical affection from? 

Knowing where your boundaries begin and end is crucial to your well-being. Understanding where your comfort zone is can make it a lot easier to let others know what's OK and what's not. 

3. 'Lend money wisely'

Creating boundaries when it comes to finances is not easy. On one hand, you want to help a family member or friend out. On the other hand, lending money can quickly lead to someone constantly taking advantage of and abusing your kindness. 

This is why you need to have firm boundaries on who you should and shouldn't lend money to. Cohen explains, "Refusing to allow for someone to borrow money who you're in a close relationship with because you're not willing to be in an awkward position if they can't actually repay you."

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4. 'Communicate your boundaries and then stick to them'

Knowing your boundaries when it comes to how you communicate can save you a lot of heartache in the future. Most people don't put boundaries on communication because they either don't want to come off as rude or don't know how. 

This is why you need to focus on the specifics when it comes to communication. Cohen advises us to focus on both what is said and how it's said, and pay attention to "tone, timber, and volume of voice."

Look, creating boundaries isn't easy, and enforcing them is even harder. When we know where we need to set our boundaries, it can make it much easier to follow through with them. Just ask your grandparents — they learned the hard way.

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Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.