11 Entirely Non-Verbal Ways To Know If Someone Really, Really Loves You
Krakenimages.com | ShutterstockActions often speak louder than words, especially in relationships where showing up for each other is essential. And while saying "I love you" is a tried and true way to show affection, but it's equally important to share expressions of love without speaking at all. The entirely non-verbal ways to know if someone really, really loves you are rooted in action, even though there are no words uttered.
When the person you love truly is devoted to you, they share their love by being considerate of your needs and meeting you where you're at, instead of expecting you to be someone you're not. They accept you just as you are, which is a quiet and powerful way to love someone.
Here are 11 entirely non-verbal ways to know if someone really, really loves you
1. Making eye contact
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When someone feels safe with you, they'll meet your gaze and hold it, not looking away. They make eye direct contact because they want to see the real you, and understand the version of yourself that you don't always share with others. By looking in your eyes for a long time, they observe the core of who you really are deep down.
According to a study published in the Journal of Research in Personality, eye contact is extremely important for expressing romantic love. Subjects of one study who held "a mutual unbroken gaze" with a stranger for two minutes reported "increased feelings of passionate love for each other." In a second study, people looked into their partner's eyes while their partner looked back, reporting a significant increase in "their feelings of passionate love... and liking for their partner."
2. Holding hands
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Pressing your palms together is a gentle, tender gesture, something that unites two separate bodies into one connected being. According to a study published in Scientific Reports, the act of holding hands is more than an expression of affection, it's also a natural painkiller. The study looked into hand-holding as a form of interpersonal synchronization, which is "the phenomenon in which individuals begin to physiologically mirror the people they're with."
Postdoctoral pain researcher, and lead author of the study, Pavel Goldstein, explained that touch has the power to ease people's pain while syncing up their heart rates and their breathing. "It appears that pain totally interrupts this interpersonal synchronization between couples," Goldstein said. "Touch brings it back."
"It could be that touch is a tool for communicating empathy, resulting in an analgesic, or pain-killing, effect," he continued. "The more empathic the partner and the stronger the analgesic effect, the higher the synchronization between the two when they are touching."
3. Open body language
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A partner can prove they really, really love you by how they hold their body when they're around you. It's easy to verbally say "I love you" to someone, but open body language is the perfect way to show comfort. Where closed-off body language sends a distinct message of discomfort, like crossed arms or hunching shoulders, if a person is open to your love, they'll show open body language.
They'll lean in when you talk, showing how engaged they are. Their posture will be relaxed, since they feel safe when they're with you. They'll smile softly and find every excuse to look at you. Their adoration is tangible, something they reveal without even knowing it.
4. Walking at your pace
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Everyone moves through the world in their own way, so finding someone who fits seamlessly into your life is a special feeling. It might be a less obvious indicator that someone truly loves you, but when they keep pace with you when you walk together, it shows their utter respect.
You might love someone who's a fast walker when they're on their own, but when they're with you, they slow down. They show how much they care by matching your natural rhythm. They don't ask you to hurry up, choosing instead to implement a small change that allows them to stay close to you.
5. Listening without interrupting
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When a person really loves you, they let you speak without trying to interject. They might nod their head or murmur in agreement, but they stay quiet because they value what you're saying. Listening is a nonverbal expression of love. It's a way for someone to hold space for your thoughts and feelings, without imposing their own opinion.
"Active listening is a way of listening that involves full attention to what is being said for the primary purpose of understanding the speaker. It is an important skill set for many different circumstances... If we are not listening actively, we are likely to miss the real message," licensed clinical psychologist Dianne Grande explained.
6. Giving you space
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Although it sounds counterintuitive, a nonverbal way to know if someone really loves you is when they give you space. Of course, love spending time with you, but they also understand how important it is for you to have time to yourself. They're not threatened by your independence. Actually, it's something they want to encourage.
Partners who encourage this space usually tend to have secure attachment styles. This means they have a relationship where they feel safe and supported, and are free to express themselves without having to hold anything back. Over time, this connection fosters independence and self-esteem, and improves relationship quality.
7. Waiting patiently
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Opposites attract, or so they say, which could explain why so many couples are made up of one person who's perpetually late and one person who arrives early. If you're the late one, your partner often proves how much they love you by waiting patient for you to be ready to leave the home.
They don't sigh dramatically or make a big show of checking the time, nor do they get frustrated or push you to move any faster. Instead, they just sit and wait because they know exactly who you are, and they love you for it. Their devotion is a culmination of compassion and accepting your imperfections, because that's how real love works.
8. Letting you have the last bite
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Sharing food is a love language. In fact, according to research published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, sharing food is a form of social intimacy, and letting someone eat off your plate demonstrates a deeper connection than one you would have with an acquaintance or stranger.
When someone really, really loves you, they're more than happy to give you a taste of their meal, because they want you to know how delicious it is. When you go out to eat, they always suggest that you split dessert, and they put their love into action by letting you have the last bite.
It might seem insignificant, but letting you have the last bite is a majorly affectionate gesture. While they may want that last bit of ice cream left in the carton, giving it to you is a simple display of selflessness.
9. Taking care of you when you're sick
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For married couples, "in sickness and in health" is a vow they make forever. So, when you become ill and can't exactly follow through on your daily responsibilities, your partner nonverbally shows they love you by helping out. Whether that means taking over your chores or making a late-night pharmacy run, they're committed to helping you get back on your feet.
They prioritize your comfort, even when it's a hassle or keeps them from doing other activities. They help you without expecting anything in return, because they love you and want you to feel better.
10. Remembering the little things
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Being mindful of the little things and committing simple acts of service every day is actually an essential part of a healthy relationship. A loving partner knows that these small things make a big impact, which is why they remember the details that are important to your quality of life.
They know just how much milk you like in your coffee and they always use your favorite mug. They take on dinner duty on days when work is stressful, and they fix things around the house without waiting to be asked. They show up and are generous, seeking to make your life as easy as possible, as well as more fun and spontaneous.
11. Hugs for no reason
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Touch is an essential part of romantic relationships, as humans want to touch and be touched. Showing physical affection lets two people connect and show how safe they feel when they're together. Even so, it's easy for that affection to be forgotten in the chaos of daily life.
If your partner hugs you without being prompted, it proves how much they love you. They might wrap their arms around you while you're standing at the sink, washing dishes. They might stop as they walk past you and pull you close to them.
Their random, spontaneous hugs aren't actually random. Those hugs that happen for no apparent reason are proof that their love for you can't be contained.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a writer based in Boston, Massachusetts who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
