If A Man Does 11 Thoughtless Things In Your Presence, He's Probably Not The One For You
REC Stock Footage / ShutterstockSome men out there are walking red flags. Often, when we’re dating someone like this, we will make excuses for their actions. At a certain point, it’s hard for us to justify their behavior, and we have to be honest that they’re probably not the one for us.
Women have been conditioned to accept less than we deserve in relationships. Often, they settle for less, and it’s hard to get out of these entanglements with men who treat them poorly. This type of man will likely say and do thoughtless things in her presence. Whether it’s ignoring her texts or interrupting her every time she speaks, these are all signs that he may not be the one for her. If you recognize any of these red flags, it might be time to cut off all ties.
If a man does 11 thoughtless things in your presence, he's probably not the one for you
1. He interrupts you
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When two people are having a conversation, both should have the opportunity to speak. Whether it’s during a tense conversation or a simple catch-up over coffee, one person can’t control the entire talk. The more we are interrupted, the more frustrated we become.
When a guy isn’t willing to let you get a word in, it can reveal that he is thoughtless. He isn’t considering your feelings. Instead, he’s focused on his own.
Constant interruptions are often a sign of disrespect. He’s showing his disinterest in what you are saying. This thoughtless behavior can push a woman away.
2. He ignores your texts but is always on his phone in person
We’ve all been in a relationship with a man who is almost impossible to reach. He never sends a text back, and it feels like you’ll never hear from him. However, when you spend time with him in person, he’s glued to his phone. He may claim he’s always too busy to text, but when he's hanging out with you, he certainly feels free to reply to his friends.
This can be understandably frustrating. When a man genuinely cares about a woman, he replies to her in a timely fashion. He knows that by ignoring her, he’s wasting her time. If a man is always on his phone around you but rarely on the phone calling or texting you, he’s telling you how he feels without saying anything.
3. He flakes on dates
Locking plans in with some men can seem overly complicated for no reason. If they fail to text back at an appropriate pace, it can feel impossible. Once you solidify a date, they might cancel on you at the last minute. This is a sign that he isn’t the one for you. If you have to chase him around only for him to flake, it’s hard to maintain a relationship with him.
Flaky people are often self-centered. If a man never shows up for you, he isn’t thinking about your feelings. When he’s in your presence, he might be distant and won’t show up the next time you make plans.
4. He is rude to other people
Going on a date with a man who is rude to others can be overwhelming. Often, they’ll treat the people taking care of them at the restaurant as if they are better than them. They may have a bad attitude or talk down to the waiters. Even worse, they may do the same thing to the people in your life who matter to you most, making the way he leaves a bad first impression on them stressful for you.
This thoughtless behavior can show a man's true colors. It shows he’s fine having a bad attitude with people he doesn’t even know. This is a bad look for a guy. If he treats strangers like this, how do you think he’ll treat you?
5. He embarrasses you
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We have all been guilty of not holding men accountable when they act out. Often, we’ll make excuses for their behavior to the people in our lives. Even when there is no real reason to defend them, we might feel the urge to do so in order to protect our own ego.
If a man frequently embarrasses you in front of others with his thoughtless behavior, it’s a red flag that he’s not the one for you. It’s time to run far, far away.
Humiliation can be one of the most difficult emotions to process. When a man makes you feel bad about yourself in front of other people, it can be hard to bounce back from. Some women may stay through these tough times, but his thoughtless behavior is a solid reason to leave.
6. He doesn’t listen to you
When you’re spending time with a man, and he ignores you, it makes you feel small. He’s showing you he doesn’t care, but it can still be hard to walk away from him. The thoughtless act of giving a woman the cold shoulder when she is trying to talk to a man is a bad look, but some are willing to make excuses for it. However, at a certain point, it needs to be addressed. A man who never listens to you is not going to be the best partner.
Whether he’s scrolling on his phone instead of talking to you, or looking down while you share an important story, it’s hard to connect with someone like this. Likely, he isn’t the one for you. Men can be notorious for not listening to women, and no one deserves to be in a relationship with someone like that.
7. He talks poorly about others often
If a man is willing to speak poorly about someone in front of you, it’s a sign that he’s not the one for you. Constant gossiping gives a man a bad reputation. Instead of coming across as honest and likable, he’s showing his true colors by putting others down. This thoughtless behavior shows that he may be comfortable talking about you behind your back.
People who speak badly about others are not kind. They are likely selfish and believe that no one is as good as they are. For entertainment, they gossip to anyone who will listen. This comes across as disrespectful and dishonest.
8. He forgets important dates
It takes very little effort to remember something important to your partner. Whether it’s an anniversary or her birthday, these dates should be ingrained in their minds. However, not every man cares about these things. Being forgetful is not always someone’s fault, but when a man is thoughtless because he doesn’t seem to care about anyone else’s feelings, he’s probably not the one for you. If he’s not willing to put in effort over the big things, he certainly won’t do the little things for you. The relationship could end over his forgetfulness.
A man like this is stuck in his own mind. He isn’t planning the next big thing for his partner. He might forget these important dates, and you'll be let down time and time again.
9. He dodges certain conversations
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Whether we want to discuss the hard stuff or not, it’s essential in a healthy relationship. Some men may do everything they can to avoid a conversation that would hold them accountable for their bad behavior. They’ll make thoughtless excuses to dodge conversations instead of facing them head-on like a respectable partner. If a man is constantly coming up with the lamest excuses for his actions, he’s not the one for you.
This behavior might look like him placing the blame on you instead of taking accountability. In the end, he is only thinking of himself. Your feelings are rarely a priority for a thoughtless guy like this.
10. He makes you feel like a burden
Being in a relationship with someone who always makes you feel like a burden can be heartbreaking. Whenever you come to them with anything, whether it’s to spend time with them or to vent about your problems, they’ll act coldly. It shows that they aren’t thoughtful. They’re often more in-tune with themselves than they’ll ever be with you. When someone makes us feel like a burden, we internalize that feeling. It can warp our view of ourselves and damage our self-esteem.
Whether we realize it or not, we may depend on our partners' validation for our self-worth. If a man is constantly bothered by you, it can have a lasting impact on your mental health. Being made to feel like a burden isn’t healthy, and a guy who does this isn’t the one for you.
11. He never celebrates your achievements
A thoughtful partner is there for you through it all. Whether it’s the good or the bad, you can count on them to support and uplift you. When you succeed and accomplish something important, they are likely the first person to celebrate you. If this doesn’t sound familiar, you are likely with the wrong person. A thoughtless man doesn’t seem to care about celebrating you. Instead, they care more about what’s going on in their own lives.
I know the first person I turn to when I get good news is my partner. I couldn’t imagine being met with anything but excitement from him. Thoughtless men aren’t afraid to act selfishly in your presence. It could be that they don’t care about your success or are jealous because they want to be the only one succeeding in the relationship. A good man is supportive through it all. A guy like this should become your ex.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
