If A Man Has These 11 Habits, You Can Trust Him With Your Heart & Soul
AYO Production / ShutterstockIf there’s one thing I’ve learned from dating guys, it’s that bad guys know how to masquerade as good ones remarkably well. They are able to look like the kindest friends, the sweetest boyfriends, or the most generous men ever…until they don’t get what they want. Or until they get what they want. Then, poof. Gone, and that’s often the best outcome, if you get my drift.
Vetting people you allow into your life is vital to your well-being as a woman. Thankfully, some habits tend to show a lot more genuine good sides than others. The habits below often indicate that a man is genuinely decent.
If a man has these 11 habits, you can trust him with your heart & soul
1. Asking for consent
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When you first start dating, check to see if he asks for consent to do things like hold your hand. This seems like a small thing, but it really isn’t. It doesn’t matter how he asks, only that he does. It can be as simple as, “Can I hold your hand?”
Asking for consent is a sign that he actually respects your boundaries in a way a lot of men don’t. It’s true what they say. Consent is romantic.
2. Being honest (but tactful)
We’ve all heard the trope of someone who insists they were “just being honest” when, in reality, they were just being rude. That said, not all honest people are doing so out of some kind of weird aggression.
Honesty is the best policy, but only when it’s served up with a little tact. For example, your man might not like that dress. That’s fine, because he simply says, “I really like that other dress more. This one just isn’t doing you justice.” You need to trust him with the truth and your heart.
3. Including you in things
Did you ever notice how people who include others in everything tend to be more liked than those who are very sketchy about who they bring in? This isn’t just a science-backed way to get more popular, but also a way to really figure out who’s in your court.
A person who constantly pushes you away when he’s with other people is someone who is often hiding something from you. Or hiding you from others. Either way, it’s not a sign you can trust him.
4. Respecting boundaries
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This was a relationship article, so of course, there would be at least one point about boundaries. Boundaries are the guidelines you give a person where you say, “Don’t do this because it’s hurtful or makes me feel uncomfortable.”
A man who refuses to respect your boundaries is a man whom you should not trust, talk to, or date. Boundaries are not made to be broken. If you find yourself constantly pushing back or dealing with having to say “no,” it’s best to cut him out of your life. It won’t get better.
5. Trusting others
Most people have heard of projection, the defense mechanism by which some people accuse others of the crimes they themselves have committed. This often happens with cheating or theft. It’s become a common part of the mainstream dialogue now, but there’s a major catch.
Most people don’t know that projection happens because people tend to assume that everyone will behave the same way they do. We all assume we’re the “standard” in behavior. By that logic, if a person is very trusting, they’re not likely to betray you.
6. Admitting wrongdoing
Let’s say that something happens. It’s a mistake. Your man just accidentally burned your ironing board while trying to straighten out a shirt. Rather than hide it, he calls you up, admits what happened, and apologizes profusely.
This should be a standard action in most relationships, if not all. However, many people refuse to do this, even with little things. Guys who can’t ever admit they’re wrong are not men who are going to be trustworthy.
7. Taking accountability
Admitting wrongdoing is great and all, but that doesn’t always guarantee trust. Taking accountability is going the extra mile and actually trying to correct the wrongs you’ve done, along with taking blame for the thing.
Do you see him regularly try to fix mistakes? Does he actually stick to his plans for getting better? Does he treat making things right like a job or a personal quest? That’s an amazing thing to see.
8. Staying quiet when people are gossiping
Oh, gossip! Who doesn’t love occasionally finding out the tea about that one couple, or finding out the real reason why that gal in HR got fired? It can be fun, but gossip is actually pretty toxic. If your man never reveals secrets during gossip sessions, that’s a good sign.
Gossipy people might swear up and down that they won’t share the tea, but the truth is that they’ll be happy to spill the tea as soon as your back is turned.
While studies show that gossiping does have some benefits, it can also destroy trust and connection pretty fast. So if a man simply stays quiet, it’s a good idea.
9. Trusting you with his phone
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We all know that a major warning sign of cheating is a man who suddenly becomes very guarded of his phone or conversations. The opposite tends to be true, too. If he’s open with his phone or computer, there’s a good chance that he’s being really honest with you.
The truth is that a guy who is open with his information likely has nothing to hide. It’s when he gets weird about it and won’t even keep you in the loop that you need to worry.
10. Keeping you updated
One of the biggest scourges of modern dating is ghosting, the sudden fadeout of a potential date or friend. They seem all about you. You’ve got a connection going, then all of a sudden, they drop out of existence. Poof! I don’t need to explain how messed up and hurtful it can be. These days, keeping you updated about plans or even showing when they’re not into you is a huge deal.
It takes guts to reject or even just give people the straight truth on what they’re looking for. Once a person ghosts you, you can’t really trust them to stay if they come back. Not ghosting is a green light, especially if it’s easier for him to ghost those around him.
11. Staying consistent
If you take a look at certain people, they’re social chameleons. If you sit them in a church, they become conservative churchgoers. If you sit them in a rave, they’re going to be party animals. Their opinions change based on who’s around them, and not in a good way.
A man who is trustworthy is a man who stays the same person, has the same opinion, and keeps the same stances on people regardless of who’s around him. If everyone tends to agree that he acts a certain way, you can at least trust that he is who he says he is.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
