If Someone’s Getting Ready To Leave A Relationship, You'll Know It When You Hear Them Say These 10 Phrases
syedfahadghazanfar / ShutterstockMost relationships begin on an extremely high note. Filled with excitement and wonder, nobody plans for their relationship to end, but the sad truth is that many relationships do not last.
Once someone is truly done and starts getting ready to leave a relationship, however, you'll start hearing them say specific phrases that reveal their thinking. As they become more resolute and unwilling to stand quietly by when they feel pushed or unhappy, they will speak to you in ways you probably never expected them to.
If someone's getting ready to leave a relationship, you'll know it when you hear them say these 11 phrases
1. 'I don't even care anymore'
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The last thing most people want to do when they have genuinely cared for someone is throw in the towel. However, if someone's done with the relationship and getting ready to leave, you'll start hearing them say, "I don't even care anymore" fairly often.
They may not actually feel this way. Jeanette Yoffe, M.A., LMFT, explains, saying that you don't care "is a survival strategy, a shield against overwhelming pain. It means, 'If I stop caring, I can stop hurting.' These words often emerge from children who have endured abuse, multiple losses, disrupted attachments, or repeated disappointments."
2. 'I don't know what I want'
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It can be hard to know how you feel when a relationship is going south. Not knowing how to change the course of the relationship, but knowing they don't want to stay as things are, you'll often hear before a partner leaves, "I don't know what I want."
In truth, they don't know how to feel. They believe they've put in the work, yet their needs aren't being met. Having spent the better part of their relationship begging, it's a little too late to start reversing the course of this relationship. Defeated and done, they say they don't know what they want because it seems as though no solution will heal how resentful they feel inside.
3. 'You deserve better'
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There will be a time when any partner messes up. When their partner cries or becomes distraught, it's common for them to think that the person they are with deserves better. Not knowing how to make things right, but wanting to try, those who are serious about the relationship don't use this excuse as an antidote.
People who are serious about becoming a better version of themselves learn and continue to improve, but people who are ready to leave a relationship are done putting in effort. No longer caring about their partner's feelings, they have zero issues with making their partner feel rejected.
This isn't good, as feeling rejected leads to anger, sadness, anxiety, and depression. Unfortunately, some partners don't care about the consequences. Anyone who is focused only on themselves is this close to leaving the relationship.
4. 'I need to focus on myself right now'
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When a relationship becomes draining, it's normal for people to want a reset. Needing time to focus on what's most important, those who are close to leaving a relationship often say, "I need to focus on myself right now."
As much as it hurts to hear, spending time focused on oneself is crucial for one's mental well-being. Whether this means reconnecting with family and friends or focusing on their success, not centering themselves around the negativity is just what they need to keep pushing forward.
And while this may mean the ending of a relationship, this isn't always a bad thing. If the relationship was toxic, it could be the renewal both parties need to become a better version of themselves.
5. 'We are both different people'
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People don't remain the same forever. Especially if a couple has been dating for years, their thoughts and opinions are bound to change over time. That being said, when someone points it out and says, "We are both different people," this is usually a sign they're nearing the end.
We all want to be surrounded by people who feel familiar. According to associate professor Michael E. W. Varnum, Ph.D, "Studies show familiarity can be a powerful driver of liking."
So, when someone points out how different you two are, it's usually not a good sign. If they distance themselves from the relationship, don't be shocked if it comes to a sour end. They don't feel connected to you anymore.
6. 'I just need time to think'
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There's nothing wrong with needing time to oneself. As much as a person may love their partner, needing distance to reenergize is completely normal. That being said, when someone is ready to leave a relationship, they'll almost always say, "I think I just need time to think."
While there's nothing wrong with thinking, telling a partner this after a huge fight, or when referring to one's relationship, isn't a good sign. Already feeling drained and wondering if they should give up, they need space, not because they want it to work out, but because they're wondering if it's worth the effort anymore.
Withdrawal is a huge sign that a relationship is coming to an end. So, if someone pulls away, be mentally prepared. That relationship might not last as long as you expected it to.
7. 'I don't want to hurt you'
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It's not usually anyone's intention to hurt someone they love. Doing their best to prevent misunderstandings or resentment, they can feel disheartened when all their hard work falls flat. Not knowing where to go and secretly thinking the relationship should end, they'll usually say, "I don't want to hurt you."
Having spent years with you, this love doesn't go away overnight. But while they may still love you, they need to do what's best for themselves. This is why they make it clear it isn't personal. It may not seem like it, but they respect you more than you think.
8. 'Let's just see where things go'
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You can't always tell how someone feels. As much as TikTokers try to break down body language or what certain text messages mean, knowing someone's intentions is a guessing game. However, if a person says, "Let's just see where things go," be prepared, as they're likely ready to leave that relationship.
A person who's serious about you will never leave you guessing. Letting you know their intentions up front won't leave it to a guessing game or a "let's see." From reassuring you to making time for you, a person's intentions become clear when they don't bother to prioritize the relationship's direction.
9. 'I don't want to argue anymore'
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Nobody wants to spend countless hours or days arguing with their partner. While they aren't afraid of conflict, disagreeing constantly is bound to drain even the most committed people. Feeling anxious, misunderstood, and resentful, you can tell when someone is over it when they say, "I don't want to argue anymore."
As licensed marriage and family therapist John Kim, LMFT, said, "When you avoid conflict, you’re not protecting the relationship. You’re protecting yourself from discomfort."
So, if a partner isn't willing to reveal that to you anymore, this isn't a good sign. Any person unable to be vulnerable is bound to push themselves away from the relationship, likely leading to a fallout in the long run.
10. 'We're holding each other back'
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Finally, if someone is ready to leave a relationship, they'll likely say, "We're holding each other back." It's hurtful to hear, but this is the most honest thing that can be said. Acknowledging that the relationship is toxic or has run its course, those who are ready to let go will almost always say something along these lines.
In the moment, you might not want to hear it. However, your partner is being the most mature version of themselves they can be. Wanting the best, telling you that this isn't working out isn't meant to hurt you. It's meant to show you that there's something better for you both out there.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology.
