If Your Husband Automatically Does These 11 Things Before You Ask, You Married A Rare Man
Tint Media / ShutterstockWe all want to marry the perfect man who knows what we need, when we need it. It’s not always easy to find someone who understands us as well as, if not better than, we know ourselves. If you can land a man who is always one step ahead of you, you married a rare man.
Doing random acts of kindness goes a long way. Many men wait to be asked before performing a task. Whether it’s a chore they know they need to accomplish or a gesture for their wife, they have all been guilty of missing the opportunity to impress their wives when they need it the most. Lending a helping hand around the house, without being asked, can make a woman’s day. If you have a husband who does it all without being prompted, you will discover you married a rare man who will do anything for you.
If your husband automatically does these 11 things before you ask, you married a rare man
1. Takes out the trash
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We have all been there. The trash is overflowing, but we have what feels like at least one hundred other tasks on our to-do list. It’s a priority, though it never seems we have enough time to get to it. Typically, I’ll ask my partner to take out the trash when I am running around doing other tasks. When he does it without asking, it feels like I won the lottery.
Little acts of kindness like this can make a lasting impact in your relationship, and it comes down to biological science. “Doing domestic, caring acts around the house releases a chemical called oxytocin in both of you. Oxytocin is the ‘love hormone’ that also acts as a neurotransmitter. When you demonstrate your caring for your wife or girlfriend, this releases nature's aphrodisiac,” says Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D.
2. Brings in the mail
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After a long day of work and caring for children, it can be difficult to walk to the mailbox. I know that sounds silly, but you underestimate how exhausting daily life is. If your husband gets home from work after you do, it’s helpful if he grabs it and brings it inside. It saves you a trip outside and shows how he values little acts of kindness to strengthen your bond. It goes a long way.
Random acts of kindness, such as bringing in the mail after a long day, deepen a sense of connection between partners. Doing sweet tasks like this for a woman makes her feel grateful she married such a rare man who cares deeply for her.
3. Picks up his clothes
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We have all heard of the messy man cliche. If you are married to one, you understand. Sometimes, whether he means to or not, he leaves behind piles of his things. Dirty clothes can get caught in corners or be thrown on the bathroom floor before a shower. This is a pet peeve of mine, and it goes a long way when my partner picks up his clothes without me having to ask.
Some men believe that taking care of the household is optional. They expect their wives to handle the cleaning. If you find yourself a man who is one step ahead of you, you’ve married a rare man. He puts away his clothes, whether dirty or clean, without being asked.
4. Brings you coffee in the morning
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For some reason, men are comfortable taking on the role of breakfast. It’s an easy meal that's hard to mess up. Whether it’s toast and eggs or something more elaborate, men feel comfortable taking charge of this specific meal. If you have landed a husband who not only makes you breakfast but also prepares you coffee every morning, you’re one of the lucky ones.
Mornings are hectic. We are always running around. Getting ready for work and prepping the kids for their school day is hard. It feels like there are not enough hours in the day. A good husband picks up on your feelings. He can tell when you are stressed. Instead of adding another task to your to-do list, he’ll make you coffee to save you time and give you a bit of an energy boost.
5. Makes dinner
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While men feel comfortable in the kitchen when it comes to breakfast, they are likely more reluctant to take on the task of making dinner. It can be overwhelming. Not everyone is a natural cook, but there are some positives that come with preparing a meal for the family. Cooking at the end of the day can bring overall satisfaction, give your brain a break, and help you build better relationships at home.
A man who makes dinner without being asked is a rare kind of partner. He knows that you need a break. It’s even better if he gets in the habit of cooking a meal or two weekly. He knows that running the household is not an easy job, and he is happy to help out where he can.
6. Takes over when you are overwhelmed
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Picture this: you have a big project due at work. The kids are screaming and need help with their homework. The pot of water on the stove is boiling over because you haven’t had the chance to stir the pasta. Sounds like too much, doesn’t it? A rare husband picks up on this without being asked. He sees you are overwhelmed, and he wants to take some of the burden off your shoulders.
Being overwhelmed by housework can ruin a marriage. Men who are good husbands realize it is not one person’s job to do every task around the house. A rare man, however, will notice immediately when his wife is starting to get stressed, and take over tasks without being asked.
7. Asks you how you are doing
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Whether it’s a good day or a bad one, we want to share our ups and downs with our partners. Sometimes, it can feel like the person you love does not care when he fails to ask how your day was. It’s something so small, but it makes a big impact. By asking you how you are doing, he is checking in with you. He is ready to provide the support you need. However, some men miss this social cue and can accidentally leave their wives feeling less cared for.
There are times when men may feel hesitant to speak up in their marriage. They may want to avoid conflict. If a husband is constantly avoiding talking to his wife, it could be a bad sign. A rare husband will always check in with his wife, whether or not he’s expecting a good or bad response. He shows he cares through his communication skills.
8. Lets you rest
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Life is hectic; that is no secret. It always feels like we are moving a mile a minute. Hours of the day pass by as if they were nothing, and we find ourselves struggling to take the time to rest. Sleepless nights can become the norm when we are always thinking about what we have to do next. Studies have found that women are more affected by sleep loss than men are. It can lead to extreme health issues.
It’s not uncommon for a woman to fall asleep on the couch for the brief moment she has a second to sit down. When a rare husband notices this, he lets her rest. He doesn’t wake her up. He allows her to sleep without having been told to. In fact, he encourages her to rest when she can.
9. Holds your hand
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Little forms of affection can get lost in a long-term relationship. This is called long-term relationship fatigue. Things become routine. You’ve spent so much time with someone that the little things can become neglected. Women love receiving these gestures from their husbands, but they get angry when they constantly have to ask. A rare man is different. He will hold her hand without being asked.
One study found that women who frequently held hands with their partners reported higher marital satisfaction than those who did not. “Women who rated their marriages as more satisfying derived even more of a benefit from holding their spouse’s hand. Therefore, even within this sample of women in highly satisfying marriages, the benefits of spousal hand-holding were maximized for those with higher marital quality,” says Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, LMFT, for Psychology Today. “Therefore, not only does touch benefit a person, but who the person is being touched by and the quality of the relationship you have with them also matters.”
10. Solves problems
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I don’t know about you, but when I have a lot going on, the first person I turn to is my partner. Sometimes, all I need is a good vent session. Other times, I’m seeking problem-solving advice. He always knows what to say to help in situations like that.
What happens when the problems are between a man and wife? A rare husband will apologize without being asked. He sees that he contributes to problems. Whether they have gotten in a big fight or are dealing with stressful situations, this type of man always steps up. He goes out of his way to help the relationship.
11. Pays the bills
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It’s an outdated gender norm that men handle the finances while women are in charge of the household. Sometimes, this is naturally how things work out for a couple. However, one study found that women have more satisfaction when they have separate finances with their partner that they manage themselves. Since this isn’t always the case, it’s nice to have your husband handle the bills and pay them on time.
I am an independent person, but I do have my partner handle things like the rent. I, of course, help out, but it’s nice not to have to worry about paying it on time. He’s reliable and helpful. If you have to ask your husband to pay the bills, you may be unhappy. A rare husband handles everything without involving you.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
