Men Who Are Meanest To The Person Who Loves Them Most Usually Have These 11 Sad Reasons
Depiction Images / ShutterstockSometimes, we can treat the people closest to us the worst. I know I have been guilty of this before. The people we see every day experience us differently from our casual friends. We can show our worst sides.
However, just because we are comfortable with someone doesn’t excuse us from treating them poorly. Men who are the meanest to the person who loves them most likely have issues going on under the surface that many don’t see. They find it easy to take their feelings out on the person they are closest to. The reasons behind this are often sad. It’s a testament to how they struggle to be vulnerable.
Men who are meanest to the person who loves them most usually have these 11 sad reasons
1. They are afraid of vulnerability
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Sharing emotions isn’t easy. It’s especially difficult for men to do. Our culture has taught them that it’s weak to show emotions. As a result, they may bottle up their true feelings. After so long, it may rise to the surface. Instead of talking through their feelings, they may lash out.
This leaves them treating the person who loves them the most poorly. Whether they realize it or not, they can be harsh when they feel overwhelmed by their emotions. It can cause serious relationship troubles.
2. They fear rejection
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It may sound counterproductive, but men can be mean to the person who loves them most because they fear rejection. Instead of having someone put them down, they’ll try to protect themselves by beating them to it. They can say mean things because they want to put someone else down to protect their ego. It’s easier for them to be in control of the relationship than to have the person they love in control.
Being in control of their relationship may make them feel like they won’t be rejected. If they are mean and hold the power, the person in their life isn’t able to break them down. A man like this may be sensitive to rejection.
3. They have unresolved trauma
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We may not realize it, but we hold on to our past. When there is unsolved trauma, it can weigh us down. It may impact our relationships with others. A man who struggles to process his emotions might be more likely to have trauma they haven’t worked through. Instead, they may act out towards the one who loves them the most.
If a man tries to forget something traumatic in his past instead of working through it, he carries that trauma with him. It’s noticeable in how he reacts to situations and the people in his life. It’s not always easy to work through our trauma. It can be especially difficult for men who do not work through their problems well.
4. They are insecure
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Insecurity can be detrimental to a relationship. When someone isn’t happy with themselves, they may take it out on other people. They fear that the person they love most will hurt them. Without confidence, they may think they are not good enough. It can be a difficult situation to navigate.
When a man is insecure, he may act mean towards the person he loves most. He might be afraid of getting hurt and thinks beating her to it will fix his problems. He may think he isn’t good enough for someone else.
5. They have control issues
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Control can complicate relationships. Some people want to have total control over their partners' lives. This may stem from past pain. It’s sad, but it isn’t an excuse for bad behavior. They likely have been hurt in the past and think that, through controlling situations, they can prevent themselves from getting hurt again.
Instead of talking to the person who loves them the most about these feelings, they may choose to take control. It’s not a proactive way to deal with issues.
6. They are emotionally immature
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Emotional immaturity is an issue for many. This is the idea of a ‘man-child,’ or a partner who can’t regulate their emotions properly. When they’re emotionally immature, they may be mean to the person who loves them the most. This may be because they never learned how to share their feelings in a healthy way. However, this is no excuse for the poor treatment of their partner.
"A man who lacks emotionally mature responses and behaviors is sometimes referred to as a man-child. People married to these individuals might complain about having an immature husband who does not behave like an adult in their relationship," says Marni Feuerman, LCSW, LMFT.
7. They take people for granted
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Sometimes, we can count on people to be there for us. It may not cross our mind that one day, they may choose to walk away from their relationship with us. Instead of holding ourselves accountable for bad behavior, we may expect people to stick around through it all. This is a sign that we are taking things for granted.
By taking someone for granted, a man shows his partner he expects them to stick around no matter what. He may not feel his behavior matters, and instead of holding himself accountable, he acts poorly because he believes she’ll always be in his corner.
8. They have low self-worth
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If someone doesn’t like themselves, it can be hard for them to treat others well. It’s not always easy to show self-love. When someone has low self-worth, they may struggle with their relationships. If they do not see themselves as enough, it may show in how they act towards their partners. It can cause serious issues long-term.
Low self-worth can come with mental health struggles. Although it’s not an excuse for bad behavior, it is a sad reason for their actions.
9. They are jealous
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Jealousy is something we see often in relationships. If one partner feels they are not good enough for the other, they may treat them poorly because of it. A jealous man is suspicious. He thinks every man wants to steal his partner away. While we know most of the time these are made-up problems in their heads, it's still something that can impact relationships.
It’s normal to feel occasionally jealous in a relationship. However, when it takes over the relationship, a man can push away the person who loves him most.
10. They struggle to process emotions
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Emotions are not easy to handle. All of us have felt overwhelmed by our feelings at one point or another. Sometimes, processing our emotions can take time. However, if a man is constantly dealing with big feelings without being able to figure them out, he may take them out on the person who loves him most. It can be difficult for their relationship.
Processing emotions takes accountability. If a man struggles to hold himself accountable, he may not be able to work through his feelings. His behavior will mirror that struggle.
11. They struggle with communication
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Communication in a relationship is important. How we speak to the person we love most matters. Sometimes, if a man is dealing with his own issues, he can struggle to communicate clearly with his partner. This can cause serious issues in the relationship. In reality, he doesn’t want to share his true feelings, which can bring forward even more issues.
"Communication is vital for healthy relationships. Being able to talk openly and honestly with the people in your life allows you to share, learn, respond, and forge lasting bonds. This is a vital part of any relationship, including those with friends and family, but it can be particularly important in romantic relationships," says Kendra Cherry, MSEd.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
