If Your Partner Doesn't Trust You, These 5 Things Usually Start Happening Pretty Often
Peopleimages.com - YuriArcurs | CanvaIf you’ve been with your partner for a while, your greatest hope is that they can learn to trust and depend on you. So, when this isn’t the case, it can be like a stab to the heart.
But before you get ahead of yourself, are you actually sure your partner feels like they can't trust you? How do you know it’s not all in your head? Couples counselor Deborah Krevalin revealed the five signs your partner doesn’t trust you and what it means about your relationship.
The obvious things that happen often when your partner doesn't fully trust you:
1. They talk unkindly about your family
Want to know if your partner truly trusts you? Observe the way they talk about your loved ones. If they love your friends and family or at least respect them, then they likely trust you.
However, if you find your partner constantly demeaning your loved ones, then they’re trying to create distance in those relationships. Why? Because they want to get closer to you. They want to monitor you and ensure you remain by their side, even if it means making you miserable.
2. A distrustful partner will accuse you of things you didn't do
Does your partner always accuse you of lying? If you say the smallest of things, they accuse you of making things up. People who do this have major trust issues, and whether it’s from past or present relationships, it doesn’t matter. They don’t trust you and never will.
Someone's lack of trust doesn't have to do with you. Research has found that people's lack of trust is primarily associated with socialization factors, including family dynamics and influences that happened years before they met you. Yet, habitual false accusations are dangerous. Constantly being accused of dishonesty can put anyone in defensive mode and affect their mental health.
3. They insert themselves into your plans
We all love doing things with our partners. And yes, we love to hang out and do our favorite activities together. But there’s a difference between hanging out and forcefully inserting themselves.
For instance, if you’ve made plans already and they decide to insert themselves at the last minute, this is a sign they don’t trust you. Krevalin explained how a partner will do this to prevent you from having free time away from them. Actions like these tend to come from a deep-rooted place of insecurity.
4. A distrustful partner will ask invasive questions
Hey, where are you going?
Who are you going with? Well, how long are you staying?
Will there be anyone else there? Well, how close are you?
Pause and think for a second, is this your partner or your parent? There is nothing wrong with asking questions. But too many questions can be a problem. Because let’s face it, someone who is secure in their relationship won’t care if their partner goes out. They might even encourage it.
However, asking too many questions shows a lack of trust on their part. And it exposes their insecurities about you remaining faithful and committed to the relationship. Which isn’t a good mentality to have about your partner in the first place.
5. They stalk your social media accounts
“They are looking for evidence that you’re not trustworthy,” Krevalin explained. They’re looking for ways to confirm their insecurities and reflect those insecurities onto you. And if they can’t find something now? Well, they’ll keep checking and checking until they can find something to twist and manipulate. Which will only put you on defense and create a false narrative that you’re just not trustworthy enough.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
