People In Their 50s And 60s Say Couples Who Share This One Daily Habit Tend To Stay Together For Life
SeventyFour | CanvaThe benefits of exercise are innumerable and consistently backed by empirical evidence. According to the CDC, exercise helps maintain a healthier weight, reduces stress and anxiety, makes you feel more energetic, facilitates a healthier sleep pattern, and improves and stabilizes your mood. Not to mention, it also makes you more confident.
But the benefits of exercise are not limited to solo ventures. In fact, you can get even more by working out with your significant other. Couples who have been together for decades consistently point to shared physical activity as one of the habits that kept them close. So why is it that couples who work out together tend to have stronger, longer-lasting relationships into their 50s and 60s?
People in their 50s and 60s say couples who exercise together stay together for life:
1. By planning and setting an exercise goal, you learn to work as a team
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Setting and achieving goals together is a good way to strengthen a partnership. You and your partner may be emotionally and romantically connected, but you're also partners in a logistical sense.
Taking the time to create a plan for your fitness habits together is a way to share your values with each other, learn about each other's needs, and make compromises. Not only does this help align your individual visions and create something both of you can strive for together, but it also gives you communication and collaboration skills that you can use in other areas of your relationship.
Research shows that couples who set and pursue shared goals report higher levels of relationship satisfaction, because working toward something together enhances the emotional connection in the process.
2. Exercise helps your energies and moods align
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Most couples experience moments of mood dissonance, where one individual is experiencing a contrasting mood or energy level to the other. Working out together and engaging in the same dietary habits can help you both sustain the same mood and energy boosts over time.
For example, if the two of you always work out in the morning and take vitamins and minerals like CoQ10 and B-complex vitamins, you'll both feel an adrenaline rush at the same time, which should last throughout the day.
A 2021 study found that on days when people exercised with their romantic partner, they experienced higher positive affect during exercise, higher daily positive affect, and were more satisfied with their relationship compared to days when they exercised alone.
Marriage and family therapist Mary Kay Cocharo explains that when couples move their bodies together, "we strengthen our brains, our hearts, and our happiness," and a daily dose of physical activity becomes a recipe for relational health too.
3. Exercise helps you motivate and support each other
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While some people are natural-born gym rats, for most of us, there are some days when exercise is a challenge. We may be eating poorly, getting too little sleep, or extra stressed from work, but whatever the case, it's easy for an individual to lose motivation at least temporarily.
With a partner, you'll find a reliable counterbalance to those downturns. If you work out on a regular basis, you'll be more inclined to follow through on your plans, and your partner may be able to give you the pep talk you need to keep going (and vice versa).
According to one study, synchronous movement between partners increases social bonding and prosocial behavior, and keeps motivation higher even on the days when going it alone would mean skipping altogether.
4. Exercise is an opportunity to bond and enjoy each other
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When you're at the gym together or running together, you'll be able to spend more time with each other while simultaneously burning stress. You'll have a chance to talk and catch up, and bask in each other's company.
If you're in a new relationship, this helps you form long-lasting bonds. If you've been in a relationship for many years, it gives you a chance to rediscover what attracted you to this person in the first place. As a bonus, your workouts will be more engaging since you'll have more to listen to than the same old playlist and the grunts from the person on the treadmill next to you.
Cocharo states that being physically present together, whether talking, cooking, or folding laundry, "activates and reinforces the brain's relational circuitry" and builds the kind of safety that lets both partners relax and actually enjoy each other.
5. Exercise helps build a shared sense of identity
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There's something quietly powerful about two people who consistently show up for the same thing together. Over time, a shared fitness habit becomes part of how you see yourselves as a couple, not just two individuals who happen to live together, but a team with a common purpose.
Researchers at BYU found that couples who engage in leisure activities together report higher levels of satisfaction and intimacy, and the shared memories created along the way become part of the emotional foundation that holds a relationship together long-term. Whether it's a morning walk, a weekly yoga class, or a long bike ride on Sundays, the ritual itself becomes a standing reminder that you chose each other, and that you keep choosing each other, one workout at a time.
If you're single and reading this, don't worry. You can still get most of these benefits by working out with a friend rather than a lover. You can create goals together, keep each other entertained while working out, bond with each other, and keep each other motivated throughout the process. And who knows? If you're looking for a romantic partner to stay fit with, you might just find one at the gym.
Whatever your goals are, and whether you're single or already in a relationship, exercising with another person you care about can multiply the already-impressive benefits of exercise. There's no excuse not to give it a try, so if you're not already in a workout routine, consider having a conversation with your partner or friend about getting in better shape together.
Paula Neal Mooney is the author of several books, and her essays and articles have been featured in national print magazines such as Writer's Digest, Yahoo, Examiner, and more.
