People With Zero Self-Awareness Almost Always Do 5 Wildly Irrational Things When Arguing With You
Srdjan Randjelovic | ShutterstockA healthy relationship should always make you feel safe, supported, and loved. And a major sign that this is not the case is that your boyfriend or girlfriend isn't completely irrational.
Irrational people are great at changing themselves to fit any situation they find themselves in, which makes it difficult to identify one. Their cunning and manipulative nature can make this even more challenging.
But, once you argue with them, you can find out for sure if this person isn't who they claim to be. Usually the seem irrational and nearly impossible to reason with.
People with zero self-awareness often do these irrational things when arguing with you:
1. They play the victim, even when they're in the privileged position
Pretty much everyone knows someone like this, and it sucks to argue with them. It is like when a boy who grew up in a middle-class family tries to tell a girl from a very poor family that he understands her and has to work hard for everything he has.
The reality is so different, and even though he came from privilege, he undermines the experience of someone else by trying to make it his own.
2. They shift moods rapidly
In the argument, the suspected irrational person may go from being objective or compassionate to vicious and personal in a split second. They may flatter you and apologize, then attack you again a minute later.
They are fighting to control the narrative. Some, but not all, illogical people may also show traits of psychopathy and experience mood swings in the same way as someone with a mood disorder.
3. They constantly condescend
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They tend to keep a calm, cool demeanor that enables them to seem in control. This is then utilized to talk down to their debate opponent.
4. They can never own it when they make a mistake
With irrational people, their words and actions are rarely in alignment, and they are constantly playing the victim card. If they mess up, they pass the blame to someone else. More than anything, they want you to be grateful for them in your life, no matter how bad they can be.
As relationship expert Dr. Margaret Paul explains, “People who blame everyone else won’t listen to reason.” Dr. Paul also highlights a significant trait that these people connect through conflict because “they don’t want to connect through true openness, as they are fearful of being seen and rejected.”
5. They project themselves onto you
In the most heated of arguments, an irrational person will try to pin their own worst qualities on you. They try to smear your character with their flaws to take the heat off themselves. They want you to seem like the crazy one.
Arguing with someone who projects onto you, meaning they attribute their own negative emotions or behaviors to you, is often unproductive and can escalate conflict due to the underlying defense mechanism. So, as much as it's a struggle, try to remember what issues are yours and what might be coming from inside of them.
Take a deep breath, and remember that you are the only person you can ever truly control.
Higher Perspective seeks to unite like-minded individuals focused on personal growth and expanding their consciousness. We can be better to our planet, better to our brothers and sisters, and better to ourselves.
