If A Person Is Someone You Can Truly Build A Life With, You’ll See Them Do These 4 Things Often
bernardbodo | CanvaPeople spend years looking for their one and only, but the strongest relationships, the ones in which you can really build a future with someone, adopt a pet together (heck, adopt two pets together, three!), really aren't rocket science when it comes down to it.
If you're wondering whether a relationship has legs or not, these five behaviors are often the clearest signs you've found someone worth building a ride-or-die relationship with, as the young kids say.
If a person is someone you can truly build a life with, you’ll see them do these 4 things often:
1. They don't fall apart when life gets hard
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When stressful situations inevitably arise (such is life, my friend), a person you can build a life with knows how to deal with the stress without flying off the handle, and knows enough to find ways to be able to laugh and joke through it — appropriately, of course.
They make sure to do things like exercise, talk it out, meditate, sleep later, watch a movie, or whatever is needed to deal with what’s going on. People who make good partners keep living life and add some needed distractions along the way.
2. A person you can build a life with seeks to understand
If you’re with a person who can laugh amid stress to help endure tense situations (see #1), then they'll usually be able to put themselves in another person’s shoes, too — hopefully yours! In understanding themselves and their partner, they know that life can be challenging, and they will be able to find compassion and empathy in most situations.
A person you can build a life with is also likely to see multiple sides of a situation amd how different people may have arrived at their perspectives. They can see the humor and truth in varying personalities and perspectives, which sets them up to be more objective and, therefore, more empathetic to the human condition: a critical quality for a long-term partner.
3. They find something to laugh about
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A person you can build a life with can find laughter in almost every situation, despite what’s going on in their lives. (See the comedic history behind The Producersby icon Mel Brooks, and how he turned even the most tragic situations into comedy.)
This often means that they're confident they'll get through whatever is going on. Not only can they deal with stress more capably, but that means stress doesn’t stress you out as much, probably because you both know you can weather any storm as long as you're together.
4. A person you can build a life with embraces joy
A person you can build a life with is genuinely excited about life and for what’s next. They know that life has more great things to shower them with, and they're eager and open to the goodness that awaits them.
Because they like where (and who) they are, they bring themselves wholly into the present and experience a moment to its fullest. Goals and aspirations flow to them because they relax at the moment, opening their heart to what the universe has to offer.
Growing up in an Italian family, there were plenty of big personalities to contend with, often leading to loud arguments, especially at family get-togethers. My grandparents were both strong personalities and would argue with each other over annoyances, miscommunications, and how something should be done.
As a young child, I watched my grandparents' arguments with wonder because no matter how loud or angry their disagreements became, my grandfather would inevitably say something completely unexpected, stopping my grandmother's midsentence with laughter. The two would share a sweet smile and either dismiss the argument or concede, and they’d then go about their day with additional warmth in their hearts.
I remember feeling the energy of the moment shift with one simple phrase, and I loved that my grandfather could do that. Even at a young age, I understood they were vulnerable enough to laugh with each other when discussing serious topics, and they were okay to disagree on things.
Victor Borge, the Danish-American comedian, conductor, and pianist, noted, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” How very true. Laughing creates feel-good hormones, helps you relax, and, in turn, helps other people relax around you. Find someone who embraces joy and laughter, and the rest will fall into place.
Pamela Aloia is a certified grief coach, intuitive/medium, and author of inspirational books. Pamela supports people through change and helps them enhance their lives and experiences via energy awareness, meditation, and mindfulness.
