You Can Usually Tell How Much Someone Loves Themselves By These 5 Things They Do Repeatedly
Vlada Karpovich | PixelsAn important part of learning how to love yourself and beginning to build your self-esteem is practicing self-care. Learning how to be better to yourself can be difficult, but it's not impossible. When it comes to love, you often think of falling in love with someone else, but the first and most important person to fall in love with is yourself.
Yes, it’s important to love other people, but how can you love each other when the skill hasn’t been mastered with oneself? Refer to the phrase “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Well, the same thing goes with love. Ask yourself, how can you pour love into someone else without having self-love? Once you’ve mastered loving yourself, you will be able to be your most authentic self and give much more to others.
You can usually tell how much someone loves themselves by these 5 things they do on repeat:
1. They get to know who they really are
A large percentage of what we think about ourselves comes from the beliefs of someone else. For example, letting people from our childhood plant negative beliefs in our minds, letting those beliefs grow, and giving them the power to determine who and what we are as a person. Well, now it’s time to get rid of those limits because what others think and feel about you does not determine your self-worth.
2. People who love themselves spend time with themselves
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Take yourself out on dates. Implement self-care daily. If you don’t enjoy spending time with yourself, who else will? Learn your likes and dislikes so when pouring love into others, you will already know and feel confident in what you will and won’t do. Increased confidence increases self-love.
3. They accept their flaws
Learn to accept yourself; nobody is perfect. When you realize this and refrain from criticizing yourself, you will find peace. You are your own worst critic. You criticize yourself because others have criticized you, and you criticize others for this very same reason. Stop doing this to yourself. When you find yourself being negative or criticizing yourself, send love (or at least peace) your way instead.
According to life coach Dr. Kate Siner, the trick to being less critical is shifting the same unconditional love you give to those closest to you and borrowing a bit for yourself. "There are some people, like your children or your partner, who you find yourself loving deeply, despite their flaws," she explained. "Repeat to yourself, 'I will not criticize myself or others,' then say something positive to yourself like, 'I will love and accept my flaws.'"
Positive affirmations are a great way to fall in love with yourself, which leads me to my next tip.
4. People who love themselves practice deep self-reflection
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Reflective soul work is a technique I’ve created that requires you to look in the mirror and repeat positive affirmations to yourself, preferably daily. "When you replace those automatic thoughts with positive affirmations and loving statements, you will see such a beautiful change in the way you approach yourself and experience different events or situations," couples counselor Brittney Lindstrom explained.
This not only helps you love and believe in yourself, but it also boosts self-esteem and confidence. How often do you really look at yourself and send love and positivity our way? Don’t wait for others to do this for you. Grab a mirror and get to work.
5. They allow themselves room to make mistakes
Understand that life is a journey and you are constantly learning and growing. Go easy on yourself and know that success comes from making mistakes. This is one of the foundational habits of those who have learned real self-compassion. Life coach Rolande Lange explained that, "Being human is complicated and misunderstandings arise, no matter what you do. You are human. You are imperfect. Being imperfect is part of being a person. You have nothing to be ashamed of, so allow yourself compassion."
You are successful no matter what obstacles you face. Self-love is the best love, so love yourself and watch your relationships grow.
Kitty Robinson is a Little Rock-based counselor and therapist who specializes in helping survivors of abuse, women navigating anxiety, and couples working through marital challenges. She is passionate about empowering women to find their voice and step into their own strength.
