People With Social Anxiety Say These 3 Things Are What Finally Got Them Out Of The House
Антон Жук | CanvaCome on, you know who you are: You wish for a more fulfilling life because you feel bored, and you know that you can change it if only you could get out of the house. Where to begin and how to start evades you. In the evenings after work or on weekends, you plug in to tune out. Avoiding life can be attractive and make it easy not to deal with life as it is. But be truthful, you end up feeling lonely and bored if you don't try to socialize.
If you're noticing you are too involved in bad news and not living your life, then what are you waiting for? There is a time and place to relax and distract yourself, and that's fine. But avoiding life because dealing with anxiety seems impossible, especially social anxiety. You blush and sweat. Your rapid heart pounds in your ears.
Research has shown how the fear of being judged negatively in social situations can cause distress and limit life. You may have come to believe anxiety will always be your reality, and other people have it all figured out. Well, guess what, things can be different if you decide today to finally get out of the house.
People with social anxiety say these 3 things are what finally got them out of the house:
1. People with social anxiety figure out what's holding them back
Ask yourself: Why am I stuck?
- Are you trying to wait until you feel motivated to be social?
- Do you fear you have picked toxic friendships or people from the past, and want to avoid the hassle of dealing with potential conflicts?
- What would you need to learn to overcome obstacles?
- Are you lacking skills for setting limits, telling people "no thank you," or learning how to breathe so you don't get a panic attack when interacting with people?
These doubts and questions are more common than you might know, and there is help. Harvard Health advised, "Self-help techniques can be used to complement other treatments. Many of these measures are easy to implement and may provide benefits beyond building social confidence."
2. They accept that anxiety is part of being human
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People feel anxious when presenting themselves in new situations where they wish to perform well. This feeling actually helps us do our best and not embarrass ourselves. The goal is to recognize it as just a feeling. Notice in your body where you feel the tension. Evaluate what you find helpful to change what you are doing. Breathe deeply and tell yourself that you are safe.
Research helped explain how people with social anxiety often judge themselves harshly based on their own high standards, which change frequently. The study showed that when people feel equal to others, they feel happier and less anxious. However, those with social anxiety are much more affected by these comparisons. Yet, even people with high social anxiety feel better about themselves when they are with other people than when they are alone.
3. People with social anxiety remember times they thought they'd fail, but didn't
Believing you will succeed in a social situation helps you become more adaptive and have control over your inner voice, rather than giving in and withdrawing to safe environments and people. That pattern can also be adaptive, but it is an obstacle to your happiness.
The American Psychological Association has found that believing in your ability to succeed is built on doing well in the past, which makes you confident you can do well again. Socially, success comes from watching someone similar to you succeed and hearing "you can do it" from trusted people, which boosts your belief. Staying calm and managing the feeling of being overwhelmed makes you feel more capable. This is where a therapist can be helpful to give you tools to develop skills to overcome the obstacles.
April Sherman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a Master's Degree in Clinical Psychology who supports people in their desire to live a happier, calmer life by implementing new skills that get results.
