The 11 Favorite Phrases Of Pretty Much Any Person Who Has Narcissistic Traits
HI_Pictures | ShutterstockMany people with narcissistic traits aren't outright showing their manipulation tactics and control methods. Instead, they weave it into the everyday phrases they're saying to people. In fact, there are many favorite phrases of pretty much any person who has narcissistic traits, all in an effort to make others question themselves. But being able to recognize the patterns can save you from putting too much energy into trying to please them.
The words that narcissistic people choose to use are designed to invalidate and make people wonder if they're the ones that are actually in the wrong. They usually frame their arguments and opinions as a way to reinforce insecurities in others. By doing this, it allows them to use familiar yet flawed tactics; each is designed to confuse, derail, and dominate both you and the conversation. Many narcissistic phrases are often delivered quite casually, said offhand or as if it's a joke. But that's just part of their control.
Here are the 11 favorite phrases of pretty much any person who has narcissistic traits
1. 'You're too sensitive'
VH-studio | Shutterstock
More often than not, a narcissist is using this phrase as way of not being able to address a conflict at hand. Rather than apologizing or doing what they need to make something right, they put it all on the other person's feelings and the fact that they're being "too sensitive."
"It is a form of psychological manipulation and emotional abuse in a relationship where the abuser tries to make the victim doubt their perception of reality. This leads to the victim questioning their sanity, gradually wearing them down and leading to a perpetual state of confusion, stress, and self-doubt," explained clinical counselor Duygu Balan.
You might be bringing something up that has genuinely hurt you. All you're hoping is for a little understanding or maybe even some remorse. Instead, you're told that the real problem is how you feel about it. Your feelings are being dismissed without having to take responsibility for anything. Having to hear something like this over and over again will make anyone start to question themselves.
2. 'I don't have time for this drama'
Xavier Lorenzo | Shutterstock
No one wants to feel as if they're being the dramatic and difficult one. But when you're confronted with this phrase by someone with narcissistic traits, it can sometimes feel like that. They're trying to make you feel as if you're making too big a deal out of something.
The moment that doubt starts to creep into your head, they've done the intended job. It makes you hesitate before actually continuing the conversation. Rather than being able to come to some sort of resolution at all, you're now left having to walk away and brush the problems under the rug.
3. 'I'm just being honest'
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
By labeling their words as just being honest, a narcissistic person can imply that the problem isn't what they said at all. Instead, it's about how the other person has reacted to it. If you even attempt to push back, they'll frame it as if you're just running from the truth.
You're the one who now looks defensive. Those with narcissistic traits tend to rely on this phrase when they want to criticize someone without facing the actual consequences of doing it in the first place.
4. 'I was just joking'
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
"I was just joking" is often a narcissist's favorite line for wanting to cover up some kind of insult. It allows them to continue attacking under the umbrella of it just being humorous. Sure, friends tease each other every once in a while, but the difference is that genuine jokes don't leave people feeling humiliated or belittled.
"Sometimes we use humor because we feel unsure about how to raise a concern. If this resonates for you, view your teasing as a symptom of a larger relational problem: concerns cannot be aired in a direct manner, so they are getting aired indirectly via teasing," pointed out clinical psychologist Alexandra Solomon, Ph.D.
When someone is constantly hiding their hurtful opinions behind humor, it stops feeling like a joke and instead now becomes a rather an upsetting pattern. The line between joking and disrespect can become quite blurry.
5. 'You'll never find someone like me'
voronaman | Shutterstock
In many situations, those with narcissistic traits are trying to plant seeds of doubt in someone else's mind. Rather than wanting to actually celebrate the relationship, they're framing it as though leaving it would be some huge mistake.
"The purpose is to reduce the likelihood that the narcissist will be abandoned before he or she is ready to do the abandoning. Narcissists cannot be left; they can only leave," said certified life coach Kristy Lee Parkin.
As one of the favorite phrases of pretty much any person who has narcissistic traits, they use this line when they feel their control over someone else is slowly slipping. Rather than addressing the problem directly, they remind others of their value. They'll try and claim that no one else will ever measure up to them, but it's because they want the other person to start considering if they should even leave in the first place.
6. 'Why are you so insecure?'
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
The one thing narcissistic individuals tend to do all the time is dodge criticism of any kind. If you start to question something they'd done, they frame it as being some kind of personal flaw. They don't want to have to look at their own behavior so they'll just label people as being insecure.
They get to position themselves as being the more confident person in the room. It's because the goal is never to understand your feelings but to walk all over them instead.
7. 'I'm only human'
BongkarnGraphic | Shutterstock
People with narcissistic traits think that by admitting that they're only human, it'll seem as if they're coming across reasonable. But they're also avoiding digging deeper into how their actions might have affected someone else.
They just want to move past something without making any kind of meaningful change. It's them dodging accountability. Once someone hides behind the fact that they're just human, the other person might feel pressured to forgive them instantly or drop the issue altogether.
8. 'I don't know what you're talking about'
VH-studio | Shutterstock
You might be bringing something up that happened, expecting some kind of discussion. Instead, a narcissist will act as if the situation hasn't happened at all. "I don't know what you're talking about" is another of the favorite phrases of pretty much any person who has narcissistic traits.
This phrase often shuts down the topic before it can even start. "Without a conscious recollection of the event, it may be impossible for the person to be accountable, experience authentic remorse, gain insight, and modify their maladaptive behavior," psychotherapist Erin Leonard, Ph.D. pointed out.
"In addition, while vehemently denying they did anything wrong, they may, simultaneously, play the victim and minimize the incident, which can also be super confusing," she continued.
Sure, people forget things all the time. But when it becomes a pattern, it becomes less about forgetting and more about just refusing to acknowledge what happened. There's now no need for them to apologize or actually reflect on their behavior. They get to just hide behind their supposed forgetfulness.
9. 'You're imagining things'
fizkes | Shutterstock
Those with narcissistic traits often make people feel as if they're making something up. If they make you start questioning your perception of things, they don't have to continue the conversation at all. They're attempting to make it seem as if the problem is your imagination rather than their own behavior.
"Gaslighting and narcissism often go hand in hand. Narcissists are renowned for being highly manipulative, controlling individuals who are lacking in empathy; gaslighting is a perfect way for them to exert control over other people," warned therapist Claire Jack, Ph.D.
By them planting those seeds of doubt, they're hoping it makes it harder for you to speak up in the future about certain things. It means they'll never have to confront difficult topics and even look at themselves to see what they're doing wrong.
10. 'I'm not responsible for how you feel'
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock
This statement from someone with narcissistic traits can be quite frustrating as it dismisses the fact that their actions have clearly hurt someone else. They're trying to remove themselves from the situation completely and avoid actual reflection on their behavior.
But the problem with this is that respectful relationships involve actually caring about how your words and actions affect others. When someone refuses to acknowledge that, the relationship ends up eroding rather than the issue being resolved in the first place.
11. 'I didn't mean it that way'
voronaman | Shutterstock
You might have tried to bring up something that was hurtful or something that a narcissistic person said that left you confused. But they aren't choosing to take responsibility for their words at all. Instead, they want you to start questioning your own feelings rather than process what they've just said.
"Narcissistic injuries do not feel like hurt feelings, they feel like his self is being attacked. The narcissist needs constant reassurance that he is special and can spin out of control and attack others venomously when he feels unappreciated," psychoanalyst Roberta Satow, Ph.D. said.
Admitting that their words actually hurt someone can feel as if they're pointing out their own failure. By claiming they didn't mean it, they can avoid accountability entirely and never have to admit their own faults.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
