Happy People Do 5 Things When Sadness Hits So It Doesn't Ruin Their Whole Day
Hson | PexelsWhen you have things in your life you don't want and don't want the things you have, life can become a sad, painful experience. Being paralyzed by sadness is like being caught in a mind trap.
When you stay in this sad state of mind for too long, it paralyzes you to the point that you don't know how to be happy anymore. This negative thinking is like an out-of-control weed in a garden that will take over and choke everything else out. The things you would normally feel excited to do eventually become dangerous, painful, and risky.
Happy people do five things when sadness hits, so it doesn't ruin their whole day:
1. Happy people take responsibility
Happy people develop strong pillars of character ethics: integrity, fidelity, courage, compassion, contribution, responsibility, and justice. The rest, you can ask others to take responsibility for. The only behavior and life you can manage or control is your own.
Therapist John Kim explains that "happy people who shine are light — and by light I mean they're self-aware of how their actions, words, and energy impact others. They don't always make it about them. They pull from the heart instead of the ego."
2. They lower their expectations
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Happy people who know they can handle everything that comes along in life also have a positive "I can do it" attitude. Think about things turning out the way you want and do the work required to get it. Expect to be of service to others, but do not expect something to be given from a particular source or in a particular way. Happy people lower their expectations; they hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
3. Happy people stop passing judgment
Passing judgments imposes your standards on others who may not have the same plans, skills, or experience as you. Judging yourself or what is possible for you based on another's outcomes is an unfair assessment of the circumstances. Assuming eliminates a lot of facts and details and is basically mind-reading.
Unless information is verified, there is a whole lot of room for error. Take the time to do some investigating and verify the facts from the source or someone with credible knowledge and experience before coming to any conclusions or final decisions. It can save a lot of embarrassing circumstances and costly mistakes, especially in your close and personal relationships.
Psychotherapist Dr. Sandra E. Cohen argues that the worst critic we have is the one we push onto everyone else: "Talk therapy is the place to work out that harshly critical voice, and to get it out of your head once and for all. You need to be relieved of it since it is a part of what keeps creating your unhappiness and depression," she cautioned.
4. They detach from the idea of how things 'should' be
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Everybody is valid in their views, opinions, and ideas based on the knowledge they have and their own experiences. Give up the right to invalidate yourself or others with communication. The happiest people listen with the intention of understanding what others are seeing, thinking, and how they feel about their perspective.
Two people never see the same details and very rarely feel the same way about a particular situation. By changing "should" to "I would prefer it," you allow others their own freedom to choose whether they also want what you are asking of them. It diminishes power struggles and battles for control. When you realize you have other options if they say no, you also have more freedom and can be okay whether others do what you want or not.
5. Happy people take an inventory of themselves
Happy people look at strengths, accomplishments, achievements, and personal growth first, then evaluate the remaining areas for improvement. In this final step, taking inventory, building yourself up first with all that is right and going well, makes it easier to face the areas that aren't quite up to your standards for the level you want to operate at.
At a high point, challenges or difficulties are easier to face because you feel more confident and empowered. From a low point, everything seems like a struggle and is more difficult to tackle.
Pain and unhappiness are created from narrow or closed-minded thinking that shuts down your choices, options, and other ways of doing or being. It is a focus on powerlessness that gives the perception that you or others are incapable or incompetent, and some hardship will be experienced that can't be handled or changed.
Pleasure is a gain that everyone wants. When you focus on what is loving, joyful, and working well in your life, you naturally draw more of it to you because you are more open to looking for it. Happiness is contagious. People naturally want to be around others who make them feel good and included in worthwhile endeavors.
Joanne Pugh is a personal development coach who helps people move from fear and stagnation into powerful change. A Certified Master Life Coach with over 20 years of experience, she combines coaching, energy healing, and self-help techniques to support clients through life's biggest transitions.
