You Can Usually Tell How Emotionally Intelligent Someone Is By 8 Traits That Are Hard To Fake
Siarhei Nester | PexelsEmotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, control, and gauge the emotions and feelings of yourself and others. Having emotional intelligence means that you are capable of assessing every situation from an agile point of view, without flying off the handle or letting your wackadoodle nervous system take over — ugh, been there.
Having a high EQ means you aren’t overthrown by every zany thought that crosses your mind because you’re in complete control of them. Not sure if you have high emotional intelligence? Fear not: If any of these traits describe you, you are very likely in control of yourself and have a keen understanding of how to handle conflict and set healthy boundaries, among other hard-to-fake traits.
Emotionally intelligent people have a hard time faking these personality traits:
1. Incredible self-awareness
People with emotional intelligence can sense their emotions as they come without becoming easily overwhelmed. They aren't ruled by their anger or sadness or any emotion in between; rather, they acknowledge the way they feel without spiraling into a messy headspace (and then spewing that mess onto everyone else). If you have self-awareness, which naturally comes with having high EQ, you know how to channel your emotions positively before they turn wolf-like and blow down your straw house.
2. The ability to know their strengths and weaknesses
Emotionally intelligent people are aware of what their strengths and weaknesses are. Their weaknesses aren’t an issue because they know how to accentuate their strengths to offset them. They recognize what it is they need to work on for the future, but also know that having weaknesses (see: chocolate) does not make them weak; sometimes it just means they have an unaddressed sugar obsession. Kidding!
3. Controlling their reactions like only emotionally intelligent people can
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People with high emotional intelligence are extremely picky with what they put time and effort into. They don’t like to waste your time or emotional energy on situations beyond their control. An emotionally intelligent person recognizes that not every situation (or person!) deserves a reaction.
So when they realize a certain situation isn't quite going their way, but they don't want to expend any thought or energy on it, they don't react outwardly, immediately, or aggressively. They left stuff cool before addressing it — the classic touch-the-stove-get-burned lesson, but for adults.
4. Major active listening skill
People with high emotional intelligence can effortlessly adapt to their surroundings and read emotions to better understand a situation. They know there’s a major difference between “listening” and “hearing.” As such, they listen for the ability to understand and empathize, rather than just waiting for their turn to keep yapping.
5. The ability to be self-motivated
People with high EQ have built a foundation of motivation within themselves. They're well aware that the road to success takes time — and they are more than okay with playing the long game. Because of their ambition and drive, they feel a sense of personal growth even when they accomplish the smallest wins (making your bed counts!) and strongly believe that the only way to fail is by giving up.
6. Awareness of why they're upset
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An emotionally intelligent person is good at figuring out what's bothering them. They do the inner work to recognize the specific emotion they're feeling, and then pinpoint the reasoning behind it. Ahhhh, so that's why I'm upset is really just another form of self-awareness.
They are in tune with their deepest emotions and know how to eliminate the urge to talk smack about themselves. They are constantly exploring their innermost feelings and picking apart their brains to get to the 'why' behind their weird feelings. It's kind of like they're their own therapist, if that makes sense.
7. Easily making peace with the past
They use the past as motivation to create a bright future, despite what they may have gone through. They don’t let their past failures consume them; instead, they use them as a trust guidebook to avoid making the same mistakes again.
This also means they aren't hanging onto resentment and have given themselves a chance to heal after someone has wronged them. They are quick to move on from whatever challenges they have experienced and resist the urge to dwell on wahhhhh how unfair life is.
8. The uncanny ability to read people like a book
Emotionally intelligent people have a sort of sixth sense about them. They easily clock body movements, hand gestures, and facial expressions while engaging in conversation. It doesn’t take long for them to translate how someone is feeling just by reading their energy or the vibe — good, bad, or weird — they're putting down.
Andrea Davis is a freelance writer, photographer, and social media influencer who covers lifestyle, health, fitness, and relationship topics.
