9 Harsh Life Truths People Born In The 70s & 80s Were Forced To Learn The Hard Way
Lyudmila2509 / ShutterstockUnlike coddled younger generations just beginning to make their way as adults in the modern world, Gen X and older millennials had it at least somewhat rough.
Not only were they, in many ways, parentified, as they were expected to care for themselves and their siblings early on, but they also had to teach themselves how to thrive. Many of the harsh life lessons people born in the 70s and 80s were forced to learn the hard way were solidified through trial and error, not by a calm parent teaching them along the way with grace and safety guardrails.
Here are 9 harsh life truths people born in the 70s and 80s were forced to learn the hard way
1. You are in control of your own life
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Many Gen Xers and older millennials born during this time period knew better than anyone that they were on their own. That’s why they are referred to as the “Latchkey generation,” because there was no one around to take care of them when they arrived home from school, leaving them to mature and take care of themselves much earlier than they should have.
While they gained autonomy and independence from having no one to rely on but themselves, they were also left with an underlying sense of distrust and cynicism that still informs their daily lives.
2. You have to create closure for yourself
Whether they were dealing with a break-up or a job loss, this generation had to learn to find a sense of closure for themselves. While Gen Z has been socialized to seek closure from others and feels entitled to clarity in relationships based on what they've heard on social media, people born in the 70s and 80s had to figure out how to make peace with endings on their own.
They knew that if they didn’t change something or deal with their own emotions, nobody was coming to take care of them. They had to acknowledge their pain, make peace with it, and move forward without anyone's approval.
3. Hard work doesn’t always guarantee success
Despite what the American Dream and all of its promises teach us, much of the time, hard work doesn’t actually guarantee success. While the most successful people did likely have to work hard, just because someone puts a lot of effort into something doesn’t mean they’ll achieve it.
While some kids and young people today feel it's acceptable to cut corners, Gen X and older millennials worked as hard as they could because they didn't believe anything else was an option. Despite being labeled slackers in their college years and early 20s, they quickly proved to themselves and anyone who was paying attention just how driven and competent they really are.
4. Knowing everything is impossible
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Asking for help can be uncomfortable for anyone, but figuring out how to put your ego aside to learn from others or seek their support is essential to our well-being. According to a Stanford study, it also positively influences how other people see us, because people feel happier and more important when asked to offer their advice and help.
Without overbearing parents coddling them and solving all their problems, people born in this generation had to get comfortable asking for help. From figuring out how to do their own homework to running errands on their own, they had no choice but to learn for themselves, even when it was difficult.
5. Relationships require effort
It’s unfortunate that many kids from this time period didn’t feel an unconditional, constant kind of love from their parents, but this experience allowed them to appreciate it when they did find it elsewhere.
For the people you care about, love can look like a lot of different things, from verbal words of affirmation to making money to provide. While they might have had to learn what secure attachment looks like in their own adult relationships, they learned the tough way how to invest in their people thoughtfully.
6. Faking it until you make it works
While many older generations were forced into a world of rigid societal norms and forced humility, ironically, fake confidence and social performance can actually be the key to success and achievement. Faking it until you make it is a real thing, especially when it comes to increasing confidence and magnetism.
Even though it took some time to learn who they were outside of the expectations and norms about who they should be, they still found a way to embrace this attitude as often as they could.
7. Time moves faster as you age
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Even though most kids spend their childhood wishing to be grown-ups, the truth is that things get more and more mundane with age. That’s why so many people feel like time is moving faster as they get older. Their perception of time passing becomes entirely automatic, compared to the vivid appreciation they felt of each moment when they were younger.
As psychologist Ruth Ogden explains, time does tend to move faster as we age, usually because we experience less novelty. The more you can actually live your life, the slower it seems to move, even if that means getting out of your comfort zone, trying new things often, and embracing a comfort with discomfort as you age.
8. Peace is better than constant excitement
Growing up in a chaotic environment where they had many responsibilities from a young age, Gen X and older millennials had to find their way without the kind of mental health resources kids today have. They had to manage their own feelings and learn to cope, often in unhealthy ways.
As adults, they place a premium on peace and quiet. Even taking a few moments for mindfulness practices during a chaotic day can seriously boost our well-being.
While it often takes pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion to get to a place where you’re motivated enough to carve out this space, once you learn the importance of peacefulness, there’s no going back.
9. Easy isn't always better
Especially in our convenience-oriented society, appreciating discomfort and leaning into challenges are superpowers. However, it took those born in the 70s and 80s a lot of hardship and practice to get comfortable with that mindset.
Although it was often hard in the moment, today they can recognize that they’re better off for it, knowing they are resilient and capable in ways that young people today, dependent on phones and their parents, simply are not.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
