High IQ People Use These 14 Sly Psychological Tricks To Change Minds & Win Almost Any Argument
Krakenimages | ShutterstockEveryone likes to win an argument, but only a few high IQ people know to use the psychological tricks that actually change someone's mind. The key is to keep yourself steady and provide reasons, winning them over with facts rather than big feelings.
These sly psychological skills are helpful in life, well beyond debates or arguments. They support your career, financial negotiations, relationships, and even your friendships. Knowing how to win any argument is the first step towards success, but only if you are able to keep that relationship intact afterward.
High IQ people use these 14 sly psychological tricks to change minds & win almost any argument
1. They keep themselves calm
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High IQ people know that, in order to change minds and win arguments, they need to keep themselves calm. If they get rattled, cry or shout, they will lose focus and drive people away.
It's great to be enthusiastic about your opinion, but it's important to maintain your composure. Stay in control of your emotions, as you lose the argument if you lose your temper.
Calm the issue and the other person's feelings by not reacting forcefully. Instead, respond in an even-keel manner. When you do this, they have no choice but to come to your level for a debate. As a result, you can explain yourself more clearly.
2. They slow down and truly listen
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Many people are so preoccupied with what they will say next, that they disregard the other and assume their arguments. High IQ people know that slowing down and truly listening is the only way to effectively change minds during an argument or discussion.
While research has shown that turn-taking during conversations happens fast (in less than 300 milliseconds!), rushing that process can decrease comprehension.
So, rather than thinking about your next move, pay close attention. You will notice flaws and shortcomings in their position, and can occasionally learn something new and instructive. And it's all because you took a beat and listened closely.
3. They don't let it get personal
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Arguments aren't personal until you make it that way, so high IQ people know the myst avoid directly attacking the other person's lifestyle, integrity, or honesty. One of the most effective psychological tricks is to simply attack the problem, rather than the person.
If the opposing party attacks you, always take the high ground. For example, in response, you could say, "I'm started by your response. It would be better if we focused on the underlying issue rather than maligning individuals, can we do that?"
While this may seem sly or clever, it's actually one of the most ethical and direct ways to address a problem. In our society today it may seem unusual, but it's actually the fairest way to win.
4. They prepare themselves to understand another viewpoint
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You don't have to agree with someone to understand their point of view. However, if you want to win an argument fairly, you must be able to see the world through the eyes of your opponent. High IQ people know this, so they prepare themselves to see the opposing argument, even if they don't agree with it.
Stepping inside the mind of someone with opposing views allows you to determine where their influence lies. Maybe they're feeling threatened, anxious, or irritated. Perhaps they know something you don't.
Demonstrating empathy will cool the dispute and allow you to reach an agreement. Plus, research indicates that staying open-minded boosts your happiness and creativity, because you perceive your environment in a different way than someone who is inflexible in their thinking.
5. They stop and ask questions
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You can maintain control of the discussion or argument by asking the right questions, which is why high IQ people stop a feisty conversation to clarify or counter their opponent's take. Not only does this keep an opponent honest and on-track, it also ensures that you are hearing them correctly.
You can refute their position by asking, "Is there evidence for that? You can also pose hypothetical questions to challenge them, such as, "What would happen if every nation did that?"
Another excellent question is one that asks for specific follow-ups to their argument. You can dive deep into their point and try to understand the nuance. It's possible this clarifies your side or debunks theirs.
As an added bonus, asking clarifying questions has been shown to make people more likable. And what could be a better way to "win" than to be well-liked, even as you disagree?
6. They refrain from yelling
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In order to win an argument fairly, you need to manage your voice, because the volume of the discourse corresponds to the emotional intensity of the conversation. High IQ people know that the louder you are, the more off-course the discussion will go.
Alleviate the situation by answering calmly, even if the other person is yelling. Keep your wits about you, and don't let the other person's behavior influence yours. The quieter you are, the more direct your remarks can be.
High IQ people also know that they don't have to tolerate yelling or other behavior. While setting boundaries is often hard at first, it's actually one of the best ways to win arguments and change minds.
Stopping an argument because you won't tolerate mistreatment may look to the person yelling like you've lost, but they'd be wrong. The person who wins is the one who won't be dragged into indignity or disrespectful discourse.
7. They clarify rather than defend
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During disagreements, it's natural to become defensive, and sometimes it's justified. If someone levels an accusation, you have the right to defend yourself. But high IQ people try something different, first: clarification.
For example, if someone says, "You're just being mean" when you disagree, try not to snap back, "No, I am not!" as that doesn't actually solve any problems. In fact, it will probably heighten the emotional temperature and make the disagreement even more intense.
Instead, try saying, "I want to clarify my motivation for saying that, because I really do not want to come across as mean."
This answer allows a high IQ person to share their perspective without denying the feelings of the other person, which only causes them to feel defensive, too.
According to studies, defensiveness negatively affects decision-making, makes it difficult creates divisiveness between people who would benefit from being united, and hurts relationships with family, friends or loved ones. And pretty much nobody can change someone's mind when they're in that state.
8. They stick with facts and logic
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Facts are difficult to contradict, so gather relevant data before beginning an argument or discussion with anyone. Use surveys, data, quotes, or research from appropriate publications, and ensure that the results are all good arguments to support your case.
If you don't have them on hand, that's OK. High IQ people rely on what they know to be true, and let calm logic make their point for them.
Show how one concept leads to another. Make your argument; then, use logic to defeat the other person. Facts and truth are key in winning a fair argument.
9. They stay focused on one point at a time
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People with high IQs work hard to stay focused on the point of the argument and resist being drawn into side-topics. This can be challenging, as many times the people we argue with are loved ones with whom we have long histories. There are probably some grudges or confounding emotions there.
An example used by the experts and psychologists at The Gottman Institute can be helpful here (and highly relatable): "What starts as a simple statement somehow spirals into a full-blown argument about responsibility, respect, and who does more around the house."
When the argument ends up going in all different directions, rather than staying focused on one point, it means nobody has won. Or, if you're the one going off in wild directions or bringing up past sleights, you will not be changing any minds.
By diverting, even if you or the other person think they are correct, you've each effectively lost the thread and you cannot change minds or win. Staying ahead of this tendency will save energy and keep you from rehashing things irrelevant to the present.
10. They avoid playing the blame game
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It's natural to feel compelled to place blame when you're arguing with someone, but doing so makes it difficult to resolve anything and move ahead. Blame also makes it nearly impossible to change someone's mind.
Research shows that there are multiple downsides to placing blame on others, including spreading that overall negative mindset to others and undermining trust between people. Blame also undermines the blame-placer's argument, as it often feels likea projection of their own feelings and fears.
Unfortunately, neither party benefits from this reaction, likely increasing discord. Blaming magnifies problems, which is the opposite of changing someone's mind or winning any argument.
11. They almost never provoke
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If you start an argument by purposely provoking the other person, they will surely put up their defenses, making it much more challenging to change their minds. And isn't that the point of having an argument, to change someone's mind?
High IQ people know that the point of an argument is to win fair and square, not to deliberately make someone angry or upset. If they need to have an argument, they'll start it calmly and with respect.
12. They're willing to agree with an opponent's good points
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High IQ people don't argue every point just for the pleasure of arguing. They know that this gets them nowhere and erodes relationships. Worse, it makes it harder to change someone's mind or even win an argument, because their perspectives seem disingenuous. After all, research has shown that anything that feels irrelevant or even vaguely threatening will likely be ignored.
Instead, smart people agree when other person makes a valid point. They may counter with a nuance or a different take, but they give credit where it's due.
This gives them the appearance of being reasonable, and their opponent will likely respond by being reasonable themselves. That's when a real conversation can happen that will be more likely to change someone's mind.
13. They keep emotion out of it
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People who win almost any argument know that they must step back and cool down if they becoming upset during a dispute. Getting angry or irritated will encourage the other person to dig their heels in even deeper or to escalate their emotions, too.
If you lose your cool, they will undoubtedly perceive you as illogical and unreasonable, making it much more difficult to win them over.
Remember: you win arguments with facts and logic, not by giving into how you feel. Keep this in mind as you go back and forth arguing your individual views.
14. They don't use foul language
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High IQ people know are purposeful about not cursing during an argument Swearing raises the energy and emotion of the fight, which is precisely what you want to avoid.
In addition, according to a study and report from Ulster University, swearing during an argument makes you appear aggressive, less intelligent, and untrustworthy.
While other studies have found that swearing can alleviate emotional and physical pain, in this context, it's best to not curse. After all, changing minds doesn't happen when people feel threatened or demeaned, even if it does make you feel better.
Sidhharrth Kumaar is an astro-numerologist and Founder of NumroVani. He couples his knowledge of modern sciences to solve real-world problems in the areas of mental well-being and relationship growth.
