If These 11 Phrases Instantly Irritate Someone, They Are Likely More Sensitive Than Most People
Dodokat / ShutterstockIt's common not to want to let someone know when you're irritated. Not wanting to upset someone or be a downer, many people would rather hide the fact that they are feeling so annoyed. Yet, while being bothered by others is normal, if certain phrases instantly irritate someone, they are likely more sensitive than most people.
There's nothing wrong with being sensitive. The kindest and most empathetic people in the world tend to be a bit sensitive. Even so, there's a huge downside to being sensitive that people don't talk about. Besides their anxiety and worrisome nature, those who are sensitive can't help but get annoyed fairly easily, especially with these phrases.
If these 11 phrases instantly irritate someone, they are likely more sensitive than most people
1. 'You're overreacting'
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If the phrase "You're overreacting" instantly irritates someone, they are likely more sensitive than most people." Now, most people don't want to hear that they're being dramatic. In an ideal world, they'd like to believe that their feelings wouldn't just be brushed to the side. However, as people enter adulthood, they gradually develop thicker skin. From angry customers to picky bosses, people learn not to take criticism so seriously.
As much as they'd rather not hear it, they also understand that they're in charge of their own emotions at the end of the day. As a licensed psychologist and assistant professor at Rutgers University, Edward A. Selby, Ph.D., said, "We can choose to 'regulate our emotions, rather than 'dysregulate' them. This is something we have a tendency to forget." Still, this doesn't mean people can't feel human. So, even if someone is sensitive, it isn't an insult. Feeling those emotions and owning them is probably one of the healthiest things sensitive people can do. After all, burying their hurt never works out in the end, does it?
2. 'It was just a joke'
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We all know someone who makes inappropriate or rude statements and tries to shrug off people's reactions by saying it was just a joke. While this behavior is often a truly manipulative form of gaslighting, if the phrase itself instantly irritates someone, they are likely more sensitive than most people.
Sure, it's a bit annoying to hear this phrase. However, the average person knows it's not really about them and avoids taking this phrase to heart. So caught up in what's happening, they'd rather bury their feelings and save them for another day. That being said, sensitive people can't always brush it away. Having a heart of gold, they take what everyone says to heart. So, when someone says, "It's just a joke," what they're really hearing is that their feelings aren't that important and that they should get over it.
3. 'Calm down'
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Sensitive people often try to keep their cool about them. Knowing they tend to react quickly, they do their best to rein in their emotions. However, if the phrase "Calm down" instantly irritates someone, they are likely more sensitive than most people. Deep down, they know their emotions are getting the better of them and that they need to calm down. While they might not like the phrase, cooling down is always the best option.
As licensed bilingual therapist Jason N. Linder, PsyD, explained, "This momentary break provides an opportunity for the nervous system to recalibrate, allowing us to reflect on the issue at hand more clearly, consider the other person's perspective, and evaluate the potential consequences of our actions and words." Still, just because it's the best option doesn't mean it isn't irritating. This is why they're quick to snap or catch an attitude. Even if the phrase isn't intended to be rude, it hurts them either way.
4. 'That's not what I meant'
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Let's face it, words don't always come out the way we intend them to. When someone is caught up in the moment, it's easy for them to have a slip of the tongue and say something they don't really mean. Even so, this doesn't change the fact that words hurt. While some people are willing to forgive and forget, if the phrase, "That's not what I meant," instantly irritates someone, they are likely more sensitive than most people.
It doesn't really matter what that person meant. Once a sensitive person feels disrespected, everything that's said afterwards only feeds the fire. This is why it's always best to call for a break and walk away. While many might think this phrase sounds reassuring, for sensitive people, it's another quick way to make them go from zero to one hundred.
5. 'Everyone else is fine with it'
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From the outside, this might sound like a reassuring phrase. While someone might have reservations about something, knowing how other people feel can put their mind at ease. Whether it's giving them the courage to step outside their comfort zone or telling someone that their idea isn't insane, this phrase isn't always intended in bad faith. On the flip side, depending on the context, this phrase can come off as pretty pushy.
So, if the phrase, "Everyone else is fine with it," irritates someone, they are likely more sensitive than most people. Regardless of what the other person meant, a sensitive person will take it as disrespect. This isn't great, as a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that feeling disrespected leads to more aggression than being disliked. This is why it's crucial to watch what you say around a sensitive person. What could've been a reassuring phrase has now turned into a ten-hour argument if some people aren't careful.
6. 'You always take things personally'
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Nobody wants to take things personally. In an ideal world, people would have the backbone to brush off criticism. However, not everyone is made of stone, which is why if the phrase, "You always take things personally," irritates someone, they are likely more sensitive than most people. No, they aren't trying to stir the pot or cause drama. Sensitive people may know that, deep down, this statement is low-key true. However, just because it's true doesn't mean they want to hear it. Even if that's how someone feels, they'd rather have them lie than tell them how they're really feeling.
During moments like these, find a way to lessen the blow. Rather than saying, "You always take things personally," find a way to get them to relax instead. From taking their minds off things to allowing them to express themselves, doing instead of saying is the best course of action in this situation.
7. 'It's not a big deal'
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It doesn't matter what someone meant by this. Whether they said it in passing or meant for it to be reassuring, this is a phrase nobody should ever utter to a sensitive person. While some might view it positively, the recipient will always take it the wrong way. Yet, they just can't help themselves. Never wanting to feel dismissed, ignored, or unimportant, this is just one of those phrases that instantly sets them off.
Believe it or not, being disregarded and having your feelings ignored aren't good feelings. According to personal coach Marty Nemko, Ph.D., "Being ignored can feel worse even than being rejected, making you feel as if you don't matter at all." However, this is heightened for sensitive people, which is why most people should steer clear of this phrase at all costs.
8. 'Why can't you let it go?'
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It sounds simple, right? Whatever happened in the past should stay in the past. No matter how much it hurt in the moment, once people have resolved the issue, the problem should be done, right? However, it isn't always that simple for sensitive people. If there's one thing about a sensitive person, it's that they feel very deeply. This is why, if the phrase "Why can't you let it go" irritates someone, they are likely more sensitive than most people.
While some understand they need to let it go for the betterment of their mental health and relationship, sensitive people don't know how. Filled with all of these complicated emotions, they'll constantly bring up the same thing over and over again, leaving most people a bit exhausted.
9. 'You're being dramatic'
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Most people want to feel like they're important. Whether it's in the presence of a loved one or at work, people like to feel like their voice matters. Even so, reality doesn't always work out that way. It sucks, but sometimes people have to push aside their pride to focus on what's actually needed. Over time, people learn that while they enjoy being valued, they also need to understand that sometimes, it isn't always about them.
That said, if the phrase "You're being dramatic" instantly irritates someone, they are likely more sensitive than most people. Once again, this goes back to feeling disregarded and unimportant. Even if it isn't meant this way, being told that they're being too much makes them feel less important. This isn't great, as according to researcher Zach Mercurio, Ph.D., "Feeling insignificant correlates with higher stress, depression, and anxiety." So, while they might have a point, for the sake of time and misunderstandings, it's better to avoid the phrase altogether.
10. 'You're reading too much into it'
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Some people tend to be over-analyzers. Blame it on their anxiety, but they can't help but look into everything. From what someone says to what someone does, if the phrase, "You're reading too much into it," instantly irritates someone, they are likely more sensitive than most people.
Now, it isn't the most offensive term someone has ever used. With a completely neutral tone, most people don't mean much by it. However, if there's one thing sensitive people hate more than anything, it's being called out for something. This is why they grow irrationally irritated at others. While the comment was harmless, feeling like they're 'doing too much' is one of the quickest ways to set a sensitive person off.
11. 'That's your problem'
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Finally, if the phrase, "That's your problem," instantly irritates someone, they are likely more sensitive than most people. It sucks, but sometimes those around you want to give you tough love. Whether the advice was prompted or not, it doesn't matter. When someone wants to respectfully steer someone in a better direction, they might do so by reminding them that they're in charge of their own problems.
Is it a slightly cruel way to put it? Yes. However, their bluntness isn't a bad thing. As therapist Alli Spotts-De Lazzer, LMFT, LPCC, CEDS-C said, "Bluntness can seem attractive, initially promising direct, clear communication. And when done skillfully and with empathy, it can make good on that promise." The issue is that this phrase is often executed poorly, leading sensitive people to go off the rails.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
