Massive Study Finds People Who Have This Simple Yet Often Avoided Habit Usually Live Happier Lives
Dean Drobot | ShutterstockA massive global study was recently published, and what researchers found wasn't exactly groundbreaking, but it did speak to the fact that holding on to negativity doesn't do you any good. To put it simply, the study found that people who easily forgive others live happier lives.
Being the bigger person is always easier said than done, but perhaps it doesn't have to be. Forgiveness is the answer to social improvement with well-being at the center. I have a tattoo that reads "I forgive everything." Although on my side, it lands close to my heart both physically and morally. While apologizing for wrongdoing is hard, being quick to forgive seems even more difficult, probably because holding a grudge seems hardwired into our modern world.
A massive study found that people who forgive others usually live happier lives.
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Richard G. Cowden and his team of researchers conducted the global study linking forgiveness to well-being, titled "Longitudinal associations of dispositional forgivingness with multidimensional well-being: a two-wave outcome-wide analysis in the Global Flourishing Study."
What they found was that forgiving does not mean forgetting or maintaining a relationship with the person who wronged you, yet it rids you of the grudge that only feeds those negative emotions. Reporting on the findings, psychologist and journalist Eric W. Dolan shared, "People who were more forgiving tended to report higher levels of optimism, a better understanding of their life’s purpose, and higher relationship satisfaction."
Holding forgiveness lets go of the past, the negativity, and the past relationships, propelling you closer to relationships that serve you and to future ones you can cultivate by learning from previous experiences.
Forgiveness is linked to psychological well-being, social well-being, and character development.
Psychotherapist Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D., pointed out, "People who suffer from low self-esteem and negative self-worth don't readily accept themselves and their own mistakes, leaving less room for them to forgive others. Unwillingness to empathize with your own mistakes can lead to an increase in depression symptoms and negative emotions."
People pick sides and usually always choose themselves as their bias. Many headstrong people cannot see their faults nor the humanity that lies in the opposing perspective. Cowden explained, “The results suggest forgiveness may be one helpful ingredient in supporting well-being, but well-being is shaped by many other factors as well. If we consider these findings alongside intervention studies that show forgiveness can be cultivated, strengthening people’s capacity to practice forgiveness more consistently (when safe and appropriate) may benefit well-being.”
The researchers also noted associations with forgiveness and prosocial behavior. Therefore, by setting the example and clearing the air, it broadcasts brightness into society. People learn from this, adopting this habit for themselves. This has a positive domino effect.
Forgiveness is a powerful gift that takes courage to embrace.
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Not found in every culture, but in many "places like the United States, Japan, and the United Kingdom, forgivingness was associated with better well-being across a large majority of the measured outcomes." In these populated, globalized countries, socializing and connections are a part of everyday life.
Disputes and grudges need to be settled to move forward. Forgiving the people who have directed disrespectful words and actions at you will allow you to move forward. Resentment is a burden and stunts you backward.
Forming this habit for yourself and meeting it where it serves you, "even relatively small associations between forgiveness and well-being outcomes could matter at the population level if resources to support processing of forgiveness (when safe and appropriate) can be widely disseminated at low cost and adopted by large numbers of people.”
As Dr. Cohen explained, "Many people think that they show courage and strength by holding grudges and cutting people out of their lives who offended or betrayed them. But the real power comes from listening to your pain, finding ways to manage during those times, and noticing your anxiety without suppressing it, avoiding it, or passing it on to someone else. It means finding the courage and strength to say, 'I am hurt, and I am not sure what to do. However, I do want to find a way to forgive.' Real courage is knowing that forgiveness will be hard but finding a way to do it anyway."
Emi Magaña is a writer from Los Angeles with a bachelor's in English. She covers entertainment, news, and the real human experience.
