5 'Overrated Adult Goals' That Young People Probably Shouldn't Even Bother To Achieve Anymore
Ron Lach | PexelsWe're all told to strive to hit certain milestones in life. But it's pretty easy to feel like there are a whole bunch of overrated adult goals that aren't really worth the trouble, especially if you're old enough to think about it in hindsight.
A conversation sprouted online about this very topic, with younger people asking adults to point out the cherished adult goals that aren't really even worth bothering to achieve anymore, whether they've become out of reach or because the juice just isn't worth the squeeze.
It's hard not to notice just how much the world has changed in recent years and decades, and just how much it has changed how all but the lucky few of us approach life. We're talking, of course, about the elephants in the room: homeownership, a long, stable career in one field at one company, and even having children have all long fallen out of fashion simply because they've become so out of reach.
Those types of issues figured heavily among these online takes on overrated adult goals, but many of them were far simpler and subtler, and the kinds of things that really make you think about the conventional wisdom we've all grown up with. If you're a young person, or have one in your life, it may be worth having a bit of a ponder about some of these traditional goals, and considering whether it might be time to get rid of them once and for all! Here are the 'overrated adult goals' people don't think young people should bother with anymore.
1. Having everything figured out by a certain age
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It used to be that if you didn't have everything figured out by 25, you were considered a mess. Then 30 became the age when you really needed to get it together. Now, if you don't have all your ducks in a row by 40, you're a plain old loser.
Not only is that all arbitrary and made-up, but those age milestones have been revised upward for a reason: It's harder to gain a foothold in life than it ever has been. All the more reason to get rid of them entirely. They're made up! And they make you miss out on so much of life instead of experiencing it, which is what you need to be doing to "figure it out" in the first place anyway.
2. Getting married and having kids
Pew Research Center found that in 2021, a record number of 40-year-olds (25%) had never been married. What that basically means is that a whole lot of young people are choosing not to walk down the aisle, or at least they are waiting to find the one, or for financial reasons, or maybe both.
As one adult put it, "I think there are things that shouldn’t be a 'goal' at all but just a pleasant outcome, like getting married or being in a relationship or having kids." Yes, exactly! Relationships are supposed to be about love and connection. And having children? You are literally creating and raising a PERSON. It's not a lifestyle goal!
And as someone a bit older, let me let you in on another secret: People who treat these things like checklist items usually end up miserable and full of regret, including when it comes to their kids. As he went on to say, "people that are dogmatic about stuff like this and kind of force it usually create a disaster." Yep. And they take their partners and children down with them.
3. Having a career 'doing what you love'
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First of all, having a career you feel passionate about has perhaps never been harder to come by and has become something that mostly only rich people can easily access. The rest of us have to fight and scrape to get a foothold, only to be unceremoniously turned loose the minute the economy changes.
It may be cultural sacrilege, but IT IS OKAY TO JUST HAVE A JOB THAT PAYS THE BILLS! As one person put it, "Sometimes a job is just a paycheck that funds the life you actually want to live." There is nothing wrong with that, and the rules saying there is are made up.
4. Confusing being busy with being important
If you think about it through any other prism besides capitalism, it is deeply weird that we consider "busyness" and a "high-powered career" as being more enviable and successful than having a life where you have the time and space to live well and take care of yourself without burning out.
It is okay to simply exist and live your life, and as an added bonus, your relationships, mental health, and physical health will all thank you for backing off this breakneck standard of success.
5. Paying for an extravagant wedding
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If you can afford it, fine. But being able to afford something and merely having the money to pay for it are two entirely different things, and there are far better ways to use your money than an extravagant wedding for a marriage that is statistically incredibly unlikely to last anyway. Sorry, but it's true.
According to Zola, the average cost of a wedding in 2025 was a whopping $36,000. Let that sink in. The likelihood that a young couple in their 20s or even 30s has that kind of cash in savings is slim to none, and you'd be hard-pressed to find a financial expert who will tell you it's a good idea to start off your newlywed life trying to recover from wedding debt.
As one person put it, many people spend "a house down-payment on a single-day wedding… [and] go into debt just to impress relatives they don't even like." It's kind of hard to think of a thing that makes less sense, or one that better sets you up for a life of frustration, for that matter!
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
