People On The Verge Of Real Happiness Tend To Have These 8 Uncomfortable Feelings First
JLCo Ana Suanes | ShutterstockThere's a lot in life that everyone wants: success, creativity, love, and freedom, just to name a few. But one of the things everyone really strives for is happiness: not the fake smile kind of happy, but the deep and true happiness.
Many people associate happiness with material things or vain desires. And while, yes, those things may put you in a better mood, to be truly happy and at peace with yourself is when you see results — but a few uncomfortable things have to happen first.
People on the verge of real happiness tend to go through these 8 uncomfortable feelings first:
1. They feel less inclined to pointlessly argue with people or judge them
The more confident and secure you feel with your own life, the less likely you are to judge the way that others live their own. Nobody gets ahead or grows as a person by putting others down.
When you're thriving as a person, you're seeing that passing judgment on others won't make your own life any better. You're learning to live and let live.
2. They feel lost, or as if they might be on the wrong path
When you're feeling lost, you're probably just switching lanes. You're finding your own distinctive direction, and sometimes you'll get stuck at a crossroads. But it's important to keep going and pushing forward. The feeling of being lost is a normal feeling to have. Because when you're lost, that usually means you're about to be found.
This disoriented stretch of life is when the recalibration can happen if you want it to. "Unresolved trauma can negatively impact almost every area of our lives if we are not aware and continuously working to change, heal, and be restored. Being aware of the signs is the first step. Awareness leads to insight, which leads to change, which can often lead to happiness," explained clinical psychologist Dr. Cortney Warren.
3. People on the verge of happiness are no longer afraid of being alone
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The thought of being alone used to terrify you. You refused to do things on your own and would cling to people to feel safe. But now, you've found peace in being alone. You're comfortable with being your own best friend and aren't fearful of doing things without the presence of others.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Patrick McElwaine reassures us that "Fear of change is normal because our brains crave comfort, not uncertainty." Making peace with your own company is an important stepping stone to happiness because of the effort it takes to override the part of your brain that says safety only lives inside other people.
4. They understand why they made the mistakes they did
You spent so much time dwelling on every single mistake you made that it would consume you. You'd constantly replay your every move in your head over and over again, asking yourself what you were thinking.
Now, fortunately, you have stopped wondering where you went wrong, and it's an indication that you finally understand why you made those choices, and you've learned from them.
5. They feel things deeply and intensely
You've finally let yourself feel things. Instead of suppressing your emotions, you now embrace them and let yourself feel them, without beating yourself up for doing so, because you know that having emotions just makes you human.
6. People on the verge of happiness feel anxious or worried about the future
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Thinking about the future can feel terrifying. You may come across as being a bold and strong individual, but a lot of the time, you actually feel extremely insecure about your own life.
You feel like sometimes your accomplishments simply aren't good enough, and that you simply aren't worthy of a good life. And day by day, you get the feeling that you're running out of time and the clock is ticking faster than ever before.
But this really just means you're anticipating what is next. You will figure out your life when you use anxiety as fuel, when you finally realize that life isn't meant to be a race. Everything will happen according to your own time zone.
7. They have a strong desire to cut off unfulfilling relationships
When you're growing as a person, you will need to cut ties with people; it's just a part of life. And most of the time, you will feel that you have a lot of acquaintances, but very few “real” friends. You begin to see real versus fake.
Who puts in the effort? Who wants to remain a part of your life? And who couldn't care less? You will lose people, and you may feel disappointed, guilty, or uneasy when you do. That's especially true when it's people you had such high expectations for.
But in this stage, you will finally see that ridding toxic people from your life is only to make room for new, positive people.
8. They realize they can only save themselves
It feels as if you've trapped yourself in a tiny bubble, a safe space, your own little world where nobody else can get in and mess with what you've built. You were waiting to be saved, and now you're finally seeing that only you can save yourself.
You're slowly but surely realizing how independent you actually are. And you're seeing how being fully dependent on yourself will be the greatest thing you'll ever do in life. It's an incredibly clear sign that you're growing into the person you were always meant to be, and becoming a happier individual in the process.
Life is tough, so we shouldn't make it any tougher on ourselves by not being as happy as we deserve to be. The trick is simple. If you want to be happy, then be happy. There is no secret formula. But there are some tendencies to help you get on the right path.
Andrea Davis is a freelance writer, photographer, and social media influencer who covers lifestyle, health, fitness, and relationship topics.
