People Who Use These 11 Phrases May Seem Nice, But They're Usually Low Class
stockfour | ShutterstockThere are some people who just happen to find the right words at the right time and come across as being very polite and charming. On the surface, there words can seem harmless and even appear confident and well-mannered, but underneath the "nice" remarks is usually the true meaning. It's usually just smoke and mirrors, disguising how they truly feel about someone or something. Some people may not even realize that they're putting it all out there either. They may think they're just being sweet and funny, but if you're actually paying attention, you can immediately decipher what they really mean.
Whether it's shirking responsibility or saying they're just speaking their mind, people who use these phrases may seem nice, but they're usually low class. They're deeply insecure and enjoy getting defensive immediately rather than hearing others out. It can be easy to miss it if the person saying it manages to be quite charming and approachable. A smile and a casual shrug can leave you thinking that you may have just imagined things. But once you're able to notice the patterns, it becomes harder to ignore. These individuals appear friendly, but everything about their words is the complete opposite.
People who use these 11 phrases may seem nice, but they're usually low class
1. 'No offense, but...'
Branislav Nenin | Shutterstock
Usually, this phrase is a prelude to someone saying something that is actually quite offensive and rude. They have a lack of awareness for how their words will affect others. They simply think that offering the disclaimer will make whatever comes out of their mouth next not hit as hard. But in reality, they're being incredibly judgmental and hurtful with their remarks.
"A lot of the negative commentary we come across never needed to exist. Conflating anger with criticism is childish. It also reeks of self-indulgence and entitlement. Resorting to angry criticism is the intellectual equivalent of relying on [cursing] because of an inability to effectively express thoughts and ideas using real words," pointed out neuroscientist E. Paul Zehr.
It can be quite exhausting to deal with because anytime someone says this phrase, you now have to brace yourself to hear something that'll definitely hurt your feelings. Most people who say this have no idea that they're even coming across as low class. But it's just not classy to throw shade or insults to someone and then pretend that you didn't at all.
2. 'It's not my fault'
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
Whether they say "it's not my fault" or "don't blame me," people who use these phrases may seem nice, but they're usually low class. They're just trying to cover up their lack of accountability.
They may have a tendency to blame others for circumstances rather than just owning up to what they might've done wrong. The moment someone insists that it's not their fault, the conversation immediately stops being about finding a solution and instead it's now about placing blame.
Even when the situation requires some level of shared responsibility for the thing that might have gone wrong, this individual will outright refuse to do so. Even when it can lead to some semblance of growth, they completely just shut down. It can be hard to look inward and notice that you might have been the problem, but in the end, it can feel good to shed that past version of yourself and move on.
3. 'It's not that deep'
fizkes | Shutterstock
Saying this phrase just ends up being more dismissive than anything else. It completely invalidates how someone else might feel or the concerns they have. Individuals who are actually low class might not even know just how irritating it is when they try to downplay something that's happened.
It shows that they just don't care enough to think about it, which is incredibly hurtful for the person on the receiving end of the phrase. They might find it's way easier to brush things under the rug rather than face the discomfort. Considering these individuals might not be all for self-reflection, it becomes easier for them to just deflect.
4. 'With all due respect...'
Media_Photos | Shutterstock
While this may come across as being polite, it's usually framed as a way to contradict someone else or even deliver a backhanded comment that will surely land as an insult. People who say this frequently are never trying to be kind. Instead, they're coming across as quite dismissive and even condescending.
"Self-evidently, you are not the opinions of others. Others can think what they want. You are not responsible for their thoughts, nor can you control their thoughts," encouraged educator and neuroscientist Ragnar Purje.
People think they're being sly when they're trying to secretly flex their own opinion that they think is superior to others. They're just attempting to soften the blow, but it rarely lands that way. Most of the time, the person on the receiving end of it still feels like their feathers have been ruffled.
5. 'It's just common sense'
fizkes | Shutterstock
It's often less about actually wanting to share insight and more about wanting to just shame other people. Individuals who think anyone is disagreeing with their point of view will immediately claim that it's actually just common sense when it's not.
They're just simply refusing to acknowledge that other people will have differing opinions to them. Instead of actually just explaining their point or even taking the time to listen to another perspective, they use this phrase as a way to shut down the discussion entirely.
"If you really care about the other person, it is essential to keep in mind that we all have unique perceptions, thoughts, and feelings when confronted with any given circumstance. Just as you feel good when a loved one truly listens to you — and frustrated when they don't — they feel the same way," licensed psychologist Leslie Becker-Phelps insisted.
They're positioning themselves as being automatically right, even if it means everyone else in the room will become annoyed and frustrated. If you're not agreeing with them then they take that as a personal slight, even when it's not meant to be.
6. 'I don't follow rules'
AYO Production | Shutterstock
People who are trying to come across as being anything other than low class usually think it makes them sound edgy and unbothered to declare they don't follow the rules. They want to come across as a free thinker who refuses to be shoved into a box. But more often than not, it reads as being immature instead.
They're suggesting that they're somehow above the system that everyone else has been participating in. That mindset isn't something to admire, and it's coming from a place of entitlement and privilege. They have little regard for order and instead just want to do whatever their heart desires.
7. 'I don't mean to be rude, but...'
fizkes | Shutterstock
Whether it's "I don't mean to be rude, but" or "don't take this the wrong way," people who use these phrases may seem nice, but they're usually low class. Even though they're disclaiming that they don't mean to come across as rude, that's exactly what they're about to do.
The biggest issue is that this does nothing to soften the blow at all. Just because a person is saying it before they proceed to say the rudest thing you've ever heard, they expect you to not take it personally. But the better thing to do is to not say it at all.
"We can learn much from others when we listen instead of shouting over the top. In the heat of the moment, it isn't always easy to do these things, but right now, we can be a calm presence, lead with compassion, and refuse flat-out to extend the spread of incivility," encouraged author Polly Campbell.
If they genuinely cared about sparing someone's feelings, they would keep anything negative to themselves, especially if it's not even helping the situation and just making things worse. If someone reacts badly, which they usually do, these individuals think they're absolved of having to apologize because they gave the disclaimer in the first place.
8. 'I can't be bothered'
voronaman | Shutterstock
This phrase is often just another way for these individuals to dodge accountability. They would much rather just pretend that nothing is going on and that they don't need to take a single action to make someone feel better. Even if they might not have the capacity to handle the situation in that moment, it can still come across as if they just don't think it's worth their time at all.
What really rubs someone the wrong way when they hear someone say this is that their entitlement is showing. They think they're just above having to show up and be involved. It's not even about asserting their boundaries, it's just about choosing indifference and just expecting everyone else to be completely fine with it.
9. 'I don't care what people think'
Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock
While it's good to not really care what people think about you in terms of your self-worth and confidence, it doesn't mean that you should use it as an excuse to act in a rude or dismissive away. People who genuinely don't care never feel the need to announce it; they just live their lives and let their actions speak for them.
"There’s a good reason we worry about what others think of us. We want to be in their good books so that we can develop and nurture our relationships with them. Our worrying about what others think of us stems from the fear that we may be bereft of friends or intimacy," psychology expert Raj Raghunathan explained.
But when someone's constantly saying it out loud and repeating it more than once, it's usually because they do care. They're just trying to shut down any criticism before it eventually hurts their feelings. It soon becomes less about being self-assured and more about wanting to protect their ego.
10. 'I just speak my mind'
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock
They may be attempting to come across as honest but, in actuality, people who use this phrase are just using it as an excuse to be rude without consequences. They don't value actually being authentic.
When someone is leaning on this phrase too hard, it usually starts becoming more of an excuse to just be mean and cold. They hide behind "telling the truth" to dodge how their words are actually affecting other people.
They claim it's just their personality, but they never try and say a truth without being hurtful and condescending. Being honest doesn't even mean you're automatically right, either. And being blunt doesn't make you a wise person.
11. 'I don't need friends'
Wasana Kunpol | Shutterstock
No matter how much someone tries to proclaim that they don't need friends, we actually need them more than we may think. Professor in human relations Thalia Wheatley, who studies social connectivity, explained, "Friendship is something we really need to understand. There's been this preoccupation with romantic relationships, but many of our close relationships are with friends."
When someone feels the need to announce that they're above friendship, it usually says more about who might have hurt them in the past or their own struggles with forming meaningful connections with people.
In practice, not having friends means they're dismissing the value of having close friends who can be there for you through the best moments and the rough ones too. That mindset can quickly turn into isolating yourself. Even if someone is insisting they're perfectly fine on their own, deep down, they're not. In fact, they're actually craving a close friendship.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
