People Who Were Raised Right Say These 11 Things Naturally
Photoroyalty | ShutterstockFrom warm interactions to anger management and resolving arguments around the house, our childhood experiences with our parents growing up play a large role in affecting how we show up in our adult lives. Even our adult attachment styles in relationships are affected by our childhood experiences and the modeled relationships our parents offered us as kids, according to a study from the Journal of Family Psychology.
Even in small interactions and conversations with strangers, people who were raised right say certain things naturally. It’s obvious if someone grew up with a role model, a positive environment, or a hope for the future, because they now lead with compassion, emotional intelligence, and accountability without a second thought.
People who were raised right say these 11 things naturally
1. ‘Thank you’
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There’s a robust world of research showing that gratitude is a powerful practice — not just to harness better connections in the world, but to improve mood, reduce stress, lower rates of depression and anxiety, and protect emotionally intelligent rituals. When we are openly gracious to ourselves and others, everything shifts for the better.
People who were raised right say things like “thank you” and “I appreciate you” naturally. They’re self-assured enough to offer that grace to themselves regularly, but they’re also not afraid to give grace to others, apologize when needed, and use basic manners in conversations with people — even when they don’t agree.
2. ‘I’m so sorry’
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Truly good people, who were raised in a home filled with accountability, emotional intelligence, and warmth, aren’t afraid to genuinely own up to their mistakes and apologize as adults. Not only do they boast better moods and mental health because of their appreciation for forgiveness, as a study from the Journal of Religion and Health suggests, but they have better, more grounded relationships because they’re not afraid to own up to mistakes and resolve conflict with grace.
Even if it seems simple, a phrase like “I’m sorry” can actually be incredibly difficult to say for people with fragile egos, a fear of weakness, or discomfort with vulnerability. However, people who were raised in environments where they could practice building confidence and trust allow apologies to be second nature when they’ve made mistakes or unintentionally hurt someone’s feelings.
3. ‘I need help’
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According to a Stanford Report, asking for help can be difficult and uncomfortable for a lot of people, but especially those operating from a place of low self-esteem, who believe that admitting they don’t know everything is a sign of weakness, rather than strength. However, people who were raised right say things like “I need help” naturally.
They not only appreciate the learning opportunities that follow asking for help or advice from others, but they also know the importance of helping other people to feel special and needed in these conversations. If they don’t know something, they’re more focused on seeking out an answer in a productive conversation that helps others feel important than protecting their own fragile ego or self-esteem.
4. ‘Are you okay?’
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Learning social intelligence and awareness often starts at home as a child, having a parent who regularly checks in, offers opportunities to learn empathy, and makes sure to teach kids the importance of leading with compassion for others. When they become adults, they’re attuned to the people around them on an energetic wavelength.
They notice when people are feeling left out and make sure to check in with people who are struggling, even when everyone else turns a blind eye. That’s why phrases like “Are you okay?” and “How can I help?” are simply examples of their empathy — they appreciate being there for other people, even if it means taking time and effort from their own routine and needs for a moment.
5. ‘I understand completely’
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Even when they’re arguing with a partner or having a disagreement with someone who holds different opinions than they do, people who were raised right say things like “I understand completely” naturally. They want to ensure people feel heard and understood — the foundation of any healthy conversation or interaction — even if they don’t agree.
That’s part of the reason why they tend to be better problem-solvers and critical thinkers. They know how to converse with people who don’t agree with them, instead of immediately writing them off, creating distance, and avoiding confrontation completely.
6. ‘That’s my fault’
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Rather than letting someone else take the blame for their mistakes or blame-shifting to avoid accountability completely, people who were raised right are comfortable using phrases like “that’s my fault” naturally.
Of course, taking accountability bolsters their relationships and protects their sense of competency at work, but it can also improve their mood and mental health, according to psychotherapist F. Diane Barth. It gives you a sense of personal autonomy and inner strength that criticizing others or shifting blame away can’t offer, which is why these accountable people are often the happiest, healthiest, and most connected.
7. ‘I love you’
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According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, our childhood experiences play a large role in crafting our adult attachment styles and relationship well-being later in life. If a person’s parents modeled a healthy, emotionally intelligent, and affectionate relationship and embraced a strong, honest connection with their children, they’re more likely to have happy, healthy relationships as an adult.
That’s why people who were raised right, with this kind of warmth and affection at home, say phrases like “I love you” and “I appreciate you” naturally. They’re not afraid of love and commitment, so they don’t avoid using these phrases with friends, partners, and loved ones on an everyday basis.
8. ‘I’m here if you need me’
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Sometimes, the strongest thing a great friend or loving partner can do in the face of uncertainty or anger in a conversation is to step back. Offering space, whether it’s for themselves or others, can provide moments to regulate emotions and come back together as more regulated versions of themselves.
But stepping away and giving people space can feel incredibly uncomfortable, especially for people with anxious attachments or poor emotional regulation skills. That’s why people who were raised right say things like “I’m here if you need me” often.
They’re not afraid of alone time, introspection, or their own emotions, and they want to give people what they need without feeling entirely chaotic themselves.
9. ‘That makes perfect sense’
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According to a study from the Journal of Research in Personality, feeling understood on any given day or moment is often associated with better-reported life satisfaction and fewer physical symptoms of pain and discomfort. It’s a full-body experience that makes you feel like you belong somewhere and are understood by others, which is why we’re all naturally driven to find community in our lives.
People who were raised right still seek out this belonging — as is the human way — but they’re also intentional about providing it for people when it’s clear they feel left out or frustrated. Even if it’s just a simple phrase like “that makes perfect sense” when nobody else is listening, they’re showing up for the people around them.
10. ‘Take your time, no rush’
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Even when they’re talking to strangers and service workers, people who were raised right say things like “take your time” and “no rush” often. They provide grace to the people around them and make an effort to lead with compassion that makes people feel at ease — even if it’s the first time they’ve ever spoken.
Their kindness to others is often a reflection of their internal sense of emotional intelligence. Even when they’re having a bad day or struggling with a minor inconvenience, they show up to help, love, support, and appreciate others.
11. ‘How can I show up better?’
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In addition to helping other people with tangible help and advice, people who were raised right are always thinking about personal growth. How can they show up better in their relationships and in their personal lives, without taking away from the joy of the present moment?
Even if it’s uncomfortable sometimes, their self-awareness allows them to notice patterns of toxic behavior in themselves, and their emotional regulation skills give them space to address them. That’s why emotional intelligence is often associated with greater well-being, because these people are always moving forward, growing themselves, and morphing into the best versions of themselves.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
