7 Rare Habits Of People Whose Confidence Doesn’t Waver Even Under Immense Pressure
Scopio | CanvaIf you're suffering from low self-esteem and in need of a good confidence boost, you're not alone. We've all been there. Sometimes we are going to feel like a rockstar who can conquer the world, and other times we feel really down about ourselves. We are aware of how important having confidence in ourselves is, but that doesn't mean we are always going to have it.
The thing is, if we allow a lack of confidence to stick around in our lives for too long, it can really start to have some long-term negative impacts. It can hinder our chances of success and happiness in our careers, relationships, and friendships, which is why it's important to nip those negative thoughts in the bud as soon as possible. It's not just our own thoughts that can lead to low self-esteem. The words and actions inflicted upon us by others can have a triggering effect. If somebody tells you something negative about yourself enough times, you can start to believe it, even if it's completely untrue.
It's not just adults, either. Even children can suffer from a lack of confidence due to bullying and the pressures of social media, and sadly, they have the potential to carry that low self-esteem into adulthood.
For those of you who might remember the 1994 Disney film The Lion King (I know it's a children's animated movie reference but just run with me on this), there's a scene in which (spoiler alert) the ghost of Simba's father, the late King of the Jungle Mufasa, appears and tells his son, "Remember who you are". At this point in the film, Simba feels sorry for himself and has left the lion pride to grow up in hiding, and he has to be reminded that he's still a prince and needs to remember that no matter what, that will never change.
For those of us in need of a confidence boost, we need to "remember who we are." You have always been awesome and worthy, but sometimes we just need a reminder of that. So, if we know it's time to build up our confidence again, how do we go about doing it?
Here are the rare habits of people whose confidence doesn’t waver even under immense pressure:
1. People whose confidence doesn't waver use movement to regulate themselves
Exercise is a great way to feel happier and be healthy, and sometimes a good gym session is all it takes to boost your confidence. Physical activity stimulates the release of endorphins and serotonin, both of which regulate mood and feelings of happiness, and research shows regular exercisers report stronger self-esteem alongside a better overall frame of mind.
If you are struggling with body image issues, don't focus on working out to just achieve a false notion of perfection. It's about being healthy, and according to the Mayo Clinic, it really does improve your mood. Look for workouts that make you feel good and allow you to have fun, too.
2. They get out of their own heads by helping others
Mikhail Nilov / Pexels
When our confidence is low, we are dwelling on ourselves and our own problems. It's not to say that our problems are not valid, but sometimes a great way to get out of that funk is to focus on helping others instead.
An overview of 28 studies on volunteering found the most consistently reported benefits were increases in self-esteem and a stronger sense of purpose. Regularly volunteering helps you stop worrying about yourself and also feel better for doing a good deed.
Volunteering at animal shelters, mentoring programs, and other community organizations is just a few of the many ways you can help out. No matter how bad you think you have it, sometimes we need a good reminder that there are those less fortunate out there.
3. People whose confidence doesn't waver don't tolerate being treated poorly
If someone treats you poorly and you keep allowing this to happen, that is definitely going to diminish your confidence. For example, if you have a friend in your life who you know isn't there for you the way a friend really should be, it's time to either discuss it or no longer make time for that person.
Another example could be that your apartment manager still hasn't gotten around to fixing that window, and you're sick and tired of waiting for it to happen. Assert yourself and tell that apartment manager to get it done. Listen, people will walk all over us if we let them. It's about standing up for ourselves, not picking fights.
Complaining for no reason is not a virtue, but when we've been dealing with unfair treatment, especially for a while, then it's time to speak up. Little ways of standing up for yourself more often will have a positive impact on your confidence.
Terry Gaspard, a clinical social worker, explained that people with genuine self-worth are more careful about who they keep in their lives and more confident in their ability to leave behind what doesn't meet their standards. Staying in relationships where you're undervalued slowly reshapes what you believe you deserve.
4. They focus on how far they've come, not just what hasn't worked out
When it comes to our achievements in life, we have a way of forgetting what we've accomplished and dwelling on what we haven't. Instead of focusing on an opportunity you didn't get, make a list of your successes. Sometimes we just need a good reminder of how far we have come.
Also, stop beating yourself up when things don't go as you had wanted them to. If life gave us everything we wanted, it'd probably be quite boring, and we'd never develop the courage to overcome obstacles. People who treat themselves with self-compassion after setbacks are more motivated and far less likely to spiral into self-doubt, according to a 2023 study.
5. They treat themselves well — because confidence needs upkeep too
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Whether it's a pedicure, a nap, or a new haircut, sometimes treating ourselves to something nice is necessary and totally fine for a confidence boost. We've all bought that new dress or lipstick that makes us feel beautiful and empowered. If it's going to make us feel more confident, then why not?
Actually taking care of your basic needs builds "a solid foundation that supports your energy, mood, thinking ability, and how well you handle stress," marriage and family therapist Ingrid Helander explained. Treating yourself well is the kind of maintenance that keeps your soul from running on empty.
6. They keep a go-to list of what instantly boosts their mood and confidence
A great song, that little black dress, or spending time in nature. These are just some of the ways that people might feel happier and more confident. Start taking mental notes of the things you do that make you feel good and feel confident. When you need a confidence boost, go back to that list and start using it as a tool to get back to your confident self.
Psychologist Dr. Guy Winch notes that self-esteem fluctuates based on experiences, mood, and the situations we put ourselves in day to day. Knowing your own personal triggers for feeling good and grounded is building a toolkit you can actually reach for when your confidence needs a reset.
7. People whose confidence doesn't waver let go of perfection
Let go of the idea of perfection. It doesn't exist. No matter how much we think it is when we scroll through our Instagram feeds or magazines, perfection is not real. Embrace the fact that we all make mistakes and everyone has their own flaws.
Higher levels of social media interaction are linked to increased body dissatisfaction and reduced self-esteem, according to a 2024 study. This is especially true when it comes to body image, and if you are following people on social media who make you feel insecure, then hit the mute button. Follow accounts that inspire you, not make you feel bad about yourself.
Jill Zwarensteyn is a long-time freelance writer, where she has covered news and travel content for different media publications. Jill's writing has been featured on Matador Network, Artrprnr Magazine, and SleepAdvisor, among other publications.
