5 Rare Personality Traits Of People Who Effortlessly Get What They Want, While Most People Keep Trying Too Hard
stockfour | CanvaWhen it comes to getting what you want and accomplishing your goals, it's tremendously helpful to observe the most successful people out there. In particular, it's useful to identify their habits and dominant traits.
Research has found that specific personality traits, especially conscientiousness and self-confidence, have a measurable positive effect on achievement, with self-confidence acting as the critical bridge between who someone is and what they're actually able to accomplish. It's not just raw talent or intelligence that drives results. The way successful people think about themselves and stay committed to a direction matters just as much, if not more.
What sets people who effortlessly get what they want apart from everyone else is a set of rare-but-learnable traits that help them operate from a place of clarity and confidence. Take note of these traits, which the most successful individuals depend on to help them reach their goals and get exactly what they desire.
Here are five rare personality traits of people who effortlessly get what they want:
1. People who get what they want are resilient
Resilience is the ability to bounce back when something throws you off your game. When you experience loss, failure, shame, or any other difficulty, resilience helps you dust yourself off and start over.
Research on resilience finds that resilient individuals use positive emotions as a tool to bounce back faster and more effectively than others. What separates them isn't an absence of pain, but their ability to process adversity and use what they've learned to keep moving forward.
Resilient people have the ability to acknowledge trouble and do whatever is necessary to overcome roadblocks. But in addition to falling and getting back up, resilient people take those setbacks and adapt to them, using them as a way to move past any obstacles in their way.
2. They are courageous
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Courage means doing the things you’re afraid of — the creative, risky things that leave you worried about failure. Leaders and innovators are set apart by their willingness to step out to the edge of what’s normal and leap into the extraordinary.
As marriage and family therapist Ann Naimark explains, courageous people are not defined by the absence of fear but by their willingness to move through it anyway. "A person with inner strength and deep courage can bend with change and embrace it," she explains, noting that asking for help and staying open to learning are among the hallmarks of genuine bravery.
But courage is more than just taking risks and facing fears; it's about letting yourself be vulnerable and taking a leap of faith.
3. People who get what they want are kind
Kindness is an extremely valuable trait that successful people use to get what they want — but not in a manipulative way. Having compassion, empathy, and respect for others shows how important the well-being of others is to you. Kindness means being a decent person in an often cruel world.
Acts of kindness, especially self-kindness and compassion toward others, have positive effects on mental health outcomes. Researchers note that genuine kindness is distinct from people-pleasing precisely because it comes from a place of internal warmth rather than a need for external approval.
4. They are patient
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As they say, patience is a virtue. Patient people trust the process. Instead of trying to force things to go their way, they know that everything will fall into place if they just wait. People with patience let circumstances unfold without trying to control the outcome. Possessing this trait will truly protect your peace in the middle of chaotic, unpredictable situations.
People who regularly choose delayed rewards over immediate ones tend to have better academic performance, greater career success, and higher overall mental health, too, according to one study. The ability to resist instant gratification is one of the strongest signs of long-term achievement across almost every stage of life.
5. People who get what they want are disciplined
Successful people are able to get exactly what they want by being disciplined. They have the ability to do (or resist) the hard things today in order to have what they want tomorrow. In your journey to becoming a successful person, don’t lose your focus or your vision. Stay motivated and tap into that powerful force that will drive you to greatness.
Psychiatrist Dr. Abigail Brenner notes that truly successful people treat challenges as problems to solve rather than reasons to stop. They pursue their ambitions consistently, understanding that discipline isn't about being perfect every day but about choosing to keep going regardless of circumstances.
There is no magic formula to propel you into success, but there are a few things you can learn by observing the type of people who keep moving forward at all times, regardless of their current situation. Take baby steps, big steps, and crawl when you have to. Keep your eyes on the goal and do what you can to reach it.
Honing these traits will help you navigate the uncertainty of life and overcome the obstacles you face to reach your goals. And that's exactly what the most successful people in the world do every single day.
Gretchen Hydo is a Master Certified Coach, keynote speaker, author, and nationally syndicated advice columnist specializing in business, life, and career coaching. Her work has appeared in Huffington Post, Reader's Digest, Chicago Tribune, Fast Company, and Medium, among many others.
