11 Small Ways People Who Are Actually Ugly Inside Almost Always Destroy Their Own Lives
Ekateryna Zubal / ShutterstockIt's unfortunate, but people have changed dramatically in the span of a few years. While they may have been supportive in the past, nowadays it feels like people are showing their worst selves. That being said, here are 11 small ways people who are actually ugly inside almost always destroy their own lives.
On the surface, it may make someone feel better to be unkind. Leaving hate comments or doxxing individuals online may not seem wrong to them. In their eyes, some people aren't worth being considerate of. However, while common decency may have left them, their mean-spirited attitude doesn't do what they think it's doing. As it stands, those with an ugly inside almost always lose in the end.
11 small ways people who are actually ugly inside almost always destroy their own lives
1. They constantly blame others
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The first small way people who are actually ugly inside almost always destroy their own lives by constantly blaming others. In their eyes, they're always the one that's being wronged. It doesn't matter what they said or did in the moment. When things don't work out in their favor, they need to find someone or something to blame. This is why they're quick to turn on those closest to them.
From friends to partners, these individuals are trying to distance themselves from the consequences of their own actions. However, this never works out for them in the end. Even if the other person made mistakes, there's a huge difference between having a productive conversation full of accountability on both sides, versus being cruel.
As Professor Elliot D. Cohen, Ph.D., MSW, pointed out, "This doesn't mean you can't negatively rate your own actions or those of others; but it does mean that you shouldn't berate yourself or others." Not only is it unproductive, but it leads to loneliness in the long run.
2. They enjoy other people's failures
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It's never a good feeling to fail in life. As most people know, failure is one of those things that's hard to recover from. That being said, miserable people love seeing other people unhappy. It's cruel, however, in a small way, people who are actually ugly inside almost always destroy their own lives because they enjoy other people's failures. Unlike others who have sympathy for others, these people are quick to laugh.
Finding other people's misery hilarious, they don't know how to give grace or be kind. In the moment, they may feel like they're better than other people. However, they should be careful. A cruel heart only hurts them in the long run, as it tends to drive good people away.
3. Gossiping and tearing down others
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A small way people who are actually ugly inside almost always destroy their own lives by gossiping and tearing down others. While engaging in it once in a while is fine, doing it all the time and spreading fake rumors is going too far. As board-certified child and adult psychiatrist Dr. Ned Hallowell said, “A person of good moral character will go to the source. Those who don’t are behaving in a cowardly manner.' Such people tend to have a 'because I can' and 'because it’s simply more fun for me this way' mindset.'"
Of course, people who are ugly inside don't particularly care. Filled with hatred and hurt, these individuals will do everything in their power to make those they're secretly jealous of feel as bad as they do.
4. Manipulating people for short-term gain
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Most people know better than to manipulate others. While it's tempting at times to get what you want, doing so by lying or deceiving others is a huge betrayal. Unfortunately, some people don't care, and people who are actually ugly inside almost always destroy their own lives by manipulating people for short-term gain. Unlike the average person who feels guilty, these individuals don't particularly care.
Viewing it as a means to an end, they will do whatever it takes to essentially 'win.' Even if it means resorting to questionable actions, manipulating them is a walk in the park. It's sad, however, these individuals don't get away with it for long. As most people know, the truth always comes to light, which can explain why they don't have the strongest support system.
5. Never apologizing sincerely
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When someone hurts someone they care for, it's always crucial to say sorry. No matter how uncomfortable it may be, apologizing and owning up to one's actions is always the right decision. That being said, a small way people who are actually ugly inside almost always destroy their own lives is by never apologizing sincerely. While it may be uncomfortable, those who want to keep their relationship intact know it's crucial.
As most people know, apologies can mend many relationships. Even so, people need to be sincere. According to Harvard Health Publishing, the steps to sincerely apologizing are simple: acknowledge the offense, explain what happened, express remorse, and offer to make amends. Unfortunately, people who are ugly on the inside don't care. Filled with pride, they don't mind burning bridges if it means keeping their ego intact.
6. Playing the victim all the time
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There's always that one person who can't ever acknowledge what they did wrong. Filled with insecurity, a small way people who are actually ugly inside almost always destroy their own lives is by playing the victim all the time.
It's sad, but these people will never acknowledge that what they did was wrong. Knowing that it'll be a huge hit to the ego, they'd rather fake tears and spin the story.
In the moment, they may not think much about the consequences of their actions, yet they may want to be careful. It's all too easy to lose someone by always blaming others and refusing to take accountability for oneself. Plus, nobody likes a 'why is it always me person' at the end of the day, right?
7. Holding grudges
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Everyone knows that holding grudges isn't the best thing out there. While it's tempting to blame someone forever, allowing oneself to heal by learning to let go is much more preferable. As clinical psychologists Shoba Sreenivasan, Ph.D., and Linda E. Weinberger, Ph.D., said, "Feeling hurt and resentful may be justified but it can also be corrosive to one’s mental and physical health."
Still, some don't care, as a small way, people who are actually ugly inside almost always destroy their own lives by holding grudges. Are there moments in life where distancing oneself from a person is healthy? Absolutely, however, holding grudges for every little thing isn't healthy in the long run.
Nobody is perfect at the end of the day, and everyone makes mistakes. This is why it's crucial to have grace. Otherwise, holding onto that pain only makes someone more miserable in the end.
8. Being fake to people's faces
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Sometimes, people have to fake it until they make it. Whether it's in front of their kids or their boss, people can't always be genuine. However, there's a difference between putting on a brave face and genuinely being a fake person. As it goes, fake people aren't just pretending. Rather, they cause irreparable damage behind other people's backs while smiling in their faces.
This is why a small way, people who are actually ugly inside almost always destroy their own lives is by being fake to people's faces. While they may think it's funny, fakeness can only get them so far. The more they are terrible to others, the more karma comes back to get them in the end. So, if someone truly doesn't like someone, keep their distance and don't talk about them. There's no reason to waste one's energy on people they find 'a waste of time.'
9. Refusing to show up for others
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Everyone wants to feel cared for. Whether it's by a friend or partner, feeling like someone is on their side is always a good feeling and can even bring relationships closer. That being said, a small way people who are actually ugly inside almost always destroy their own lives is by refusing to show up for others. These individuals are often cold and selfish. Only caring about themselves, they ignore those in need.
In the moment, they may think centering themselves is the best decision. However, it's crucial to maintain those friendships. As the American Psychological Association noted, "Psychological research suggests that stable, healthy friendships are crucial for our well-being and longevity."
10. Lacking sympathy
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It's unfortunate, but nowadays it seems more people lack sympathy. Whenever something tragic happens, many people would prefer to blame others rather than give them grace. Yet, while it may feel like the norm, it's actually a small way in which people who are actually ugly inside destroy their own lives.
In the moment, piling on one person may feel okay. After all, when some people are filled with insecurity and are miserable with their lives, lacking sympathy becomes all too easy. They won't admit it, but it's another way to feel superior and take out their frustrations.
Unfortunately, this doesn't benefit them in the long run, as a lack of sympathy and cruelty doesn't attract anyone good into their lives, leaving them feeling more isolated and lonely.
11. They never appreciate the little things
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Finally, another small way, people who are actually ugly inside almost always destroy their own lives by never appreciating the little things in life. Is life hard sometimes? Absolutely. However, it's crucial not to take what one has for granted. Whether it's a good career or supportive parents, practicing gratitude is important.
As clinical psychologist Monica Vermani, C. Psych., said, "The mental health benefits of gratitude include improved self-esteem, lower levels of depression and anxiety, and improved interpersonal relationships."
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
