9 Super Sweet Things Dogs Do When They Know They Messed Up & Want To Apologize To You
evrymmnt | ShutterstockIt may not seem like it, but dogs are very perceptive to how they make us feel. It's likely that anyone with a dog has gotten mad at their pup at some point, whether it was a chewed shoe or a broken item in their home. But along with their extraordinary senses, dogs can also express guilty and sorrow for their actions, changing their behaviors to earn back your affection.
Perhaps they stare up at you with those "puppy dog eyes" or softly whine to get your attention, but depending on their actions, there are very specific and super sweet things dogs do when they know they messed up and want to apologize to you. Dogs care more than we think, after all.
Here are nine sweet things dogs do when they mess up and want to apologize to you:
1. Their head is down, and their ears and tail droop
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When you yell at your dog, you probably notice the way they keep their head down, or how their ears and tail droop slightly. When this happens, we might not think much of it or assume our pups feel bad, but your dog is trying to tell you something a lot different than what you initially think.
According to registered veterinary technician Jenna Stregowski, "An anxious dog often has a lowered head, holds the ears partially back, and stretches the neck out." Your dog is likely anxious because they feel guilty about your reaction and are trying to ease tensions. Adds experts from VCA Animal Hospitals, "Submissive dogs lower their heads, hunch down, and avert their eyes when trying to diffuse a situation or appease their owners."
2. They secretly watch you
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If your dog tends to linger after you've scolded them, they might try to secretly eye you or peek at you. However, this is just what happens when your dog feels bad and wants to apologize, as they can't help but look at you.
As certified professional dog trainer Stephanie Gibeault revealed, "Dogs have many reasons for turning their gaze on us. But most of the time they are either communicating with us or waiting for us to communicate with them." Likely, your dog is waiting for you to calm down so they can approach you, or they're waiting for you to approach them.
Regardless, your dog is looking for the moment when someone can swoop in to ease tensions, which is why they look at you so intently. Even if they don't know that you're aware of their behavior, it also indicates that they want your attention back.
3. They approach and lick you
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It can feel annoying or frustrating when your dog tries to lick you, and you might even feel the urge to push them away. But this is one of the very sweet things dogs do when they want to apologize to you after messing up, and lick you to try to calm you down after making you upset.
According to certified veterinary acupuncturist Dr. Kasey Stopp, "Studies have shown that licking releases endorphins in a dog’s brain. Endorphins are neurotransmitters that make dogs (and us!) feel calmer and more relaxed." So, take it as a sign that your dog is showing remorse and wants to be back in your good graces once more.
4. They softly whine
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We might not think much of a soft whine from our dogs and may assume it's because they're seeking attention. While it's true that dogs do whine for attention, they also do so for other reasons. According to experts from ASPCA, "Dogs most commonly whine when they're seeking attention, when they're excited, when they're anxious, or when they're trying to appease you."
If your dog has set you off lately, they're doing their absolute best to appease you. Why? Because they feel guilty about angering you. So, even if anger may be a gut reaction, it's important to set it aside and meet them halfway, even when it's difficult to.
5. They bring you their favorite toy
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When you're upset with your dog, you might notice that they want to play. They'll bring you their favorite toy and look up at you with those sweet eyes. On the surface, it might seem like they have zero care in the world regarding your feelings, but that would be wrong.
According to a study published in Behavioural Processes, play is used to encourage the emotional bond between humans and dogs. And when you're upset with your pup, it's pretty clear that bond might be strained. To make up for it and reinforce it, your dog might stand near you, eager to play a game.
6. They show you their belly
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While there are many reasons a dog may roll over and show you their belly, they may also be trying to make amends for messing up and making you upset. When a dog feels guilty, they want to show that they're listening and are appeasing you.
Dog behavior expert Kayla Fratt explained, "Dogs roll on their back and expose their bellies to us for two main reasons: as a display of appeasement, and as a request for a belly rub... A dog adopting an appeasement gesture (also called a submissive display) is trying to diffuse social tension by showing that they're not a threat."
An exposed belly shows that your dog is sorry and is willing to behave, which certainly tugs on the heartstrings. You really can’t be mad at your dog after that display, and especially considering how adorable they are when they're rolling around.
7. They refuse to eat
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After yelling at your dog in anger, you might notice them in a corner, refusing to eat. But this behavior is more than just stubbornness; in fact, it's a sign that they feel awful about what they did and are highly stressed over it. They may also be reacting to the level and tone of your voice.
Family dog meditator and certified behavioral consultant Cathy Madson revealed, "Stress and anxiety can inhibit your dog's natural appetite. It's common for dogs that feel anxious to refuse food and even their higher-value dog treats. When a dog is anxious, their sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) is activated and they're in no state to relax and eat some food — their appetite is suppressed."
Even if they made you upset, be gentle with your dog and understand that everyone makes mistakes. If you get angry, remember that your dog understands what they did wrong, so give them a little grace.
8. They follow you around, acting like your shadow
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Following you around is a super sweet thing that dogs do when they know they messed up and want to apologize to you, acting like your shadow as a way to show amends. You probably can't take a step in any direction without them standing or laying next to you. Not only is it likely because they want to say sorry, but because being next to you is the safest place in the world.
While this behavior may indicate their desire for forgiveness, it's also a sign that they're feeling stressed, want attention, or that they truly love you. You may also notice that they're incredibly calm and gentle. And when they shift their behavior like this, it's hard to stay mad at them, even if they've shredded your clothes or stolen your food.
9. They check your face to read your reaction
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While dogs gaze at you for a number of reasons, as Gibeault pointed out, when they study your face to check for a reaction, they're trying to figure out how you feel. Dogs are incredibly skills at reading human facial expressions, and over time can learn what you look like when you're sad, annoyed, and every emotion in between.
So, when they've done something wrong and they know it, they go into "detective mode," scanning your expression for any signs that things are okay again. And when your face softens, even slightly, they can pick up on that, too. They may start wagging their tail, licking you, or cuddling up next to you. It's a pure, earnest effort to understand you and make things right.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.
