10 Things Only High-Value People Notice About Someone Right Away
Nana_studio | ShutterstockBeing a high-value person is the goal, but who really knows what that means? Is it authenticity? Grace? Empathy? Intelligence? Regardless of what you define as a great person, it’s almost always revealed in practice, through words, of course, but actions as well. And because there are certain things only high-value people notice about someone right away, they can detect if those same qualities are present.
Perhaps a high-quality individual sees the way another person treats service workers, or if their authenticity is real or simply a ploy for attention. They're incredibly perceptive to how someone else presents themselves. And when others are around a special person like this, they feel different in their presence.
Here are 10 things only high-value people notice about someone right away
1. Their passions and interests
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People with shared interests often bolster healthier relationships, which is why it’s a superpower to be able to notice people’s passions and hobbies in conversations. High-value people are so tapped into social awareness that they notice when a certain topic or person lights them up. Even when they’re not interested in the same things, they can tap into the joy that another person has around a certain topic.
From someone’s body language in a specific environment or their tone of voice when they start talking about a hobby, high-value people don’t miss the beauty that comes from talking about the things people truly love.
2. Their worries
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The key to building strong conversations and connections is making people feel seen and heard, at least according to a study from PLOS One. When people feel like you care about what they’re saying or feel safe in your presence, they can open up without worry.
That’s why high-value people are careful to notice body language and nonverbal cues about someone’s worries or insecurities. They notice their vulnerabilities, but use that awareness for good to support people and craft safe spaces for them to be their authentic selves without the need to perform.
3. How they treat other people
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Especially when it comes to talking with service workers and meeting new people, high-value individuals are always cognizant of how other people treat one another. They operate from a place of empathy that’s hard to replicate if you’re not a compassionate person yourself. They care about making other people feel good and respected, whether they know them or not.
So, when someone is using a barista as a scapegoat for their own anger and stress, or judging someone based on what they’re wearing without knowing them as a person, they’re immediately turned off.
4. Their reliability and consistency
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Whether it’s showing up on time or making sure their words match their actions, high-value people immediately recognize someone’s reliability. Especially considering that our reliability reigns over our ability to show up for people, of course a high-value person looking for deep, meaningful connections notices it instantly.
Someone’s reliability feeds into their trustworthiness, so when you notice a lie or someone consistently missing their emotional or tangible commitments, we are instinctively ready to protect ourselves. It’s usually just high-value people who notice and set those boundaries first.
5. If their authenticity is real or fake
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Even though people can put on a facade of authenticity with overconfidence and bold expression, traits of ingenuousness, like conformity or suppression, often speak for themselves. As a study from Heliyon explains, real authenticity comes from accountability, contentment, and an expression of one’s true self that can’t be replicated.
High-value people notice the difference between these two kinds of people, even when subtle, almost instantly. They’re drawn to truly magnetic, authentic people, and can instantly read the energy of someone who’s just performing or conforming to someone else’s best traits.
6. Their need for attention
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Considering high-value people are tapped into the vulnerabilities of the group they’re in, it’s not surprising that they can easily read through someone’s overconfidence or loudness. Typically, it’s always these forcefully extroverted, overconfident people who are compensating for something else. They cling to the attention in the room for validation and approval when they don’t have the inner security to do it themselves.
A high-value person, who often has many admirable, quiet qualities, doesn’t need to seek out attention. They feel most fulfilled when they can have truly meaningful, deep conversations, usually starting with actively listening to someone else. However, when they’re being interrupted or are in a space where someone refuses to sit in silence, they’re instantly aware of how toxic the interaction becomes.
7. How they speak about other people
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Speaking to someone’s face and being present in a conversation can tell you a lot about a person’s respect for others. However, how they speak about people who are not in the room can tell you everything about the kind of person they are.
Gossip can sometimes be good for bonding and creating connections, but when it comes at the expense of someone else’s well-being or reputation, it’s not a good look. Especially because negativity is so contagious to other people, high-value people need to learn to notice it early to protect themselves from absorbing the bad energy entirely.
8. Their humor
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Telling well-timed jokes and making people smile can all be powerful for boosting connections and conversations. When we share laughter with people, it brings us closer together and boosts our relationship satisfaction almost immediately. But when a joke comes at the expense of someone else or acts as a disguise for someone’s cruelty, it’s not harmless.
High-value people notice these misguided jokes right away. They can tell when someone’s humor is inauthentic, serving only as a means for them to avoid taking accountability for being rude and mean. It’s these people who regularly say things like “it’s just a joke” to cover their tracks, even though it pushes people away.
9. Their questions
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Asking questions tends to bond people closer together and can even boost likability, according to a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. However, it often takes a high-value person to differentiate between someone exercising their own curiosity with someone or trying to get to know them better, and insensitivity and disrespect.
For example, a curious person asks, “What does that mean?” or “Can you tell me more about that?” in pursuit of understanding and knowledge. A careless, cruel person asks, “Why would you do that?” or “Aren’t you embarrassed?” to weaponize shame and promote their own superiority. Even if they seem obviously different on paper, it’s typically on high-value people who notice the energy and intentions behind someone’s questions.
10. Their social awareness
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Navigating shared, public spaces and talking to strangers, high-value people can’t help but notice social awareness in others immediately. Especially in someone who lacks “street smarts” entirely, putting their safety and respect at risk out in the world, it’s impossible not to notice their bad behavior and choices.
Considering that high-value people have a greater ability to read the energy of a room and to sense other people’s intentions, of course they notice this ignorance and lack of depth right away.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
