You Can Tell Someone Genuinely Loves Life By 7 Things They Do When Nobody's Looking
LOOK | CanvaHumans tend to adjust to positive experiences quickly. The initial high of something good fades over time, leaving us searching for the next thing to make us happy again.
For most, happiness may seem like an elusive feeling they can never grasp onto. That's fair: happiness often is fleeting. Good moods come and go, but happiness does not exist in a forever state; that would be impossible. But there are some ways to tell someone enjoys life, and the secret sauce to all of them is that they're actually nothing fancy.
You can tell someone genuinely enjoys life by what they do when nobody's looking:
1. They slow down ever so slightly
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: slowing down makes life easier and thus more enjoyable. This doesn’t mean puttering along like a sad little tortoise — I mean, going fractionally slower so that you can view life in full 4K, not black and white like everyone else. In a world where everyone is rushing around, this gives you a wicked advantage.
Slowing down our lips helps, too; several good things happen when we close our mouths: We breathe through our noses, which has been proven to improve oxygen intake, and even posture. We eat less and take back control over comfort eating. Fasting also gives you energy because your body has finally stopped working to digest what you’ve been eating.
Talking less prompts us to demonstrate our worth through action. When we show what we’re capable of, instead of telling everyone, things start to happen because we're doing instead of yapping, and that makes people turn heads.
2. They embrace being goofy
Most of us shuffle around, wondering why life’s so hard. You gotta be loose and fun to experience a looser, funner life. Have you ever considered that the reason people are so serious around you is that you're too serious? You created this reality. Emit a fun, silly energy, and people will respond in kind. It's really that simple.
Laughter releases dopamine, increases blood flow, and strengthens the heart. Still, beyond its many health perks, a good sense of humor leads to increased optimism, which is always found in the people who have a true zest for life.
3. People who love life savor the moment
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Most of us mope around like we lost a winning lottery ticket because we’ve been hypnotized into thinking that feeling good takes time. If I could just have things in this exact order, just the way I want them … then I’ll be happy, we murmur. Great, now you’re deferring your happiness to a future that doesn’t yet exist.
Don't do that! Your joy springs out of the now and the now only. The concept of welcoming instant happiness, like something good, no matter how minute, that's happening right this instant, can put you in a good mood because it triggers the release of dopamine.
Try this: gradually allow a smile to erupt from within you, growing ever-brighter. Do this to electrify every fiber in you. Walk around with an inner grin, and your authentic smile will magically appear without effort. Except it wasn't magic — it was all you.
4. They say no to energy drains
Next time you plan on stuffing your face with jelly doughnuts or doom-scrolling until you can't see straight when you feel low, say this: ‘Hey buddy — don’t do it. We got this.’ We win when we can turn away from temptations and vices and be present instead. We are immediately rewarded with energy and a lifted mood. Exert some control over those things you know are bad for you. Taking responsibility will lift you.
5. They play air guitar
Before you step out of the house, adopt a wide stance, lean back, and do your best Jimi Hendrix impression. Sound effects are optional. You may at this point think that I’m winding you up. You’re only partly correct. The critical point I’m making here is that you always have a choice, regardless of how ugly life is for you right now. Are you a servant to the perceived ‘seriousness’ of your life — or are you free to rock out with your you-know-what out?
6. People who love life awaken their inner dragon
Drake the Dragon (or whatever you want to name him) is snoring out smoke rings somewhere in the darkest corner of your psyche. He’s asleep because he’s bored. You keep ignoring him because you believe that aggression is rude and naughty and should be suppressed. Get appropriately aggressive for a change. Decide to be strong today, awaken Drake, and unleash chaos.
7. They make someone smile
We make ourselves miserable thinking that others should make us happy. Stop. People will do what they do, no matter what, good or bad. Your happiness is never rooted in what other people can do for you, ever. Loving life is rooted in letting go of your own pesky ego, getting out there, and making someone else's day.
Message someone and tell them they rule. Compliment someone on their shoes. Congratulate a New Yorker on the Knicks' win, even if they're not your team. The phenomenon of making someone feel better, leading to a positive mood in yourself, is often explained by the do-good, feel-good phenomenon. Now you’re lifted, and this is precisely the state you need to be in if you want to love life. Come join us, the water's just fine.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
