Those Who Are Mentally Stronger Than Everyone Else Usually Share These 11 Rare Character Traits That Keep Them Tough
Mirjana Zidar | ShutterstockIf you made a list of all the people you admire, from your favorite musicians to the activists who've changed the world and made it better, there is one trait they all likely share: they are mentally stronger that nearly everyone around them.
As different as they all may be, they usually share a few rare characteristics that have contributed to their mental strength, not only making them tougher, but also more authentic, ethical and driven. These people are rare, so if you meet one, keep them close.
Those who are mentally stronger than everyone else usually share these 11 rare character traits that keep them tough
1. They choose friends carefully
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Because they're earnest and authentic, mentally strong people can be quite picky when it comes to the people around them. They surround themselves with people who know their worth, and are positive and goal-driven.
That's because mentally strong people know that the people who surround us have a profound effect on how we behave and see the world. Adult friendships improve adults' well-being and mental health, but research shows that the quality of the friendship matters.
If this sounds like you, you've probably realized that to many people, friendship is a word loosely used with little meaning. However, you take it seriously. As the saying goes, you are the company you keep, so you choose to keep people who are positive, loyal and uplifting.
2. They don't crave attention
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Being liked by everyone isn't high on the to-do list of people who are mentally stronger than everyone else. In fact, they may struggle to see why some people will go to any length to be liked.
That's because mentally strong people are internally motivated. They operate based on their own moral compass and surround themselves by people they respect. When they need perspective, a reality check or input, they turn to those whom they trust to be honest based on a similar ethical foundation.
Mentally strong people know that the most important thing is that you like yourself. ot in an egotistical way, but in a self-love kind of way. Once they start working on that goal, they no longer crave attention in the same way.
3. They're secure and know who they are
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Those who are mentally stronger than everyone else are secure in who they are, a character trait that keeps them tough. After all, when you know who you are, you're harder to influence or control.
When you have a strong personality, you realize that the only approval needed is that of your own. You don't have a dependence on validation to make you feel good about yourself. Strong people know that relying on others to validate your existence only leads to anxiety or suffering.
4. They're repelled by insensitivity
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Being kind is a natural state of mind for many people who are mentally tough. They seek to help others see their worth and love empowering those around them. Because of that, one of the character traits that keeps them tough is their absolute disinterest in insecure people, especially those who displace their insecurity onto others.
Small-minded, insensitive people are driven by intimidation and jealousy. These two things have no place in your life when you're mentally strong, and when you come into contact with someone driven by these things, you find yourself moving along swiftly.
5. They often find small talk tedious
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One of the more annoying character traits of mentally strong people is their intolerance for small talk. See, small talk can be exhausting for people who show up earnestly and authentically in every interaction. They don't want to stay on the surface, they want to engage and grow.
If you're tough in this way, you want to engage in mind-blowing, informative talk because, to you, learning empowers the soul. That means you want to steer clear of small talk in all forms.
Life might be easier if you could skate on the surface with small talk, but you can't deny who you are. You do your best to be kind, but small talk just doesn't come naturally for you.
6. They're uniquely excellent listeners
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People who are mentally stronger than pretty much everyone else know the value of being a great listener. In contrast, insecure people feel a need to interrupt and make every conversation about themselves.
Not only does great listening benefit your relationships, when you listen, you give yourself an opportunity to learn. This seems obvious, but it's an often-overlooked reason to train yourself to be a better listener.
When you interrupt, you assume what someone else is saying. In reality, you have no idea what they might say, and it might be something new, interesting or even funny. Experts say that interrupting even to express sympathy can derail the conversation, and your connection.
7. They don't tolerate excuses
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When people are mentally stronger than everyone else, they aren't interested in inauthentic excuses designed to shirk responsibility. Not only do they refuse to give these types of excuses, they lose trust in others who do.
Why? Because accountability is one of the virtues most valued by mentally strong people. It's part of what allowed them to become mentally strong in the first place. When they've made mistakes or hurt someone's feelings, they've owned up to it.
If you have this rare characteristic, you likely prioritize relationships with people who are as willing to be accountable as you are. Thus, when someone makes feeble excuses, you probably set an invisible boundary in your mind, knowing that you won't be able to trust them quite the same as you did.
8. They say what they feel, when appropriate
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Mentally strong people value honesty, whenever it's appropriate. Not only does this align with their values, it keeps them tough.
It may not be easy to hear the honest truth, but they prefer to hear it over a sugar-coated half-truth. They'll do the same in return, because they respect you. This doesn't always make them popular, but it does attract other mentally strong people. Together, they build profound trust.
There are some caveats to "honesty is the best policy", however. Mentally strong people know that the whole, brutal truth is not always necessary and that benevolent truth and benevolent lies exist on a scale. While they won't manipulate the truth, they will do their best to tell the whole truth in kind ways, when appropriate.
9. They set their own rules for life
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A lot of people claim to be mavericks, willing to buck tradition and carve a new path. But very few people are mentally strong enough to truly determine their own rules for life. That's because it's easier to go along with the crowd, especially when other people get upset with you for not co-signing their harmful or lazy behavior.
When you're mentally stronger than everyone else, you've done the tough work of sorting through your own issues and developed a moral compass that follows you no matter were you go. That's why people admire you so much, and why unhealthy or manipulative people stay far, far away.
10. They're fearless
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One of the rarest character traits possessed by mentally strong people is their fearlessness. They're born to lead, not caring for the opinions of others and mindless gossip-filled conversations.
When you're mentally strong and fearless, you look at life and all its curve balls as a challenge, and you don't stop until you have gracefully conquered each one. And when people try to intimidate you, rather than being discouraged, you build up their confidence with the love and grace you've cultivated throughout your life.
Of course, mentally strong people aren't actually fearless (if they were, they'd fit the profile of psychopathy more than mental strength!). It's how they face their fears that makes the difference. Instead of pushing them down, they confront them, find their origins and decide whether it's time to tackle them. And that's where true toughness comes from.
11. They don't shrink from a noble battle
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Speaking of fearlessness, those who are mentally stronger than everyone else share the rare characteristic of being willing to stand up for what they know is right. This is especially challenging when doing what's right puts you at odds with the mainstream. This is called moral courage.
According to Julia Sasse writing for Berkeley's Greater Good, "Moral courage is needed when we see that our principles have been violated, social norms were transgressed, or the law was broken. If we act to stop these wrongdoings, despite the risk of backlash, we act morally courageous."
These the people who end up in history books — or at least their family's history of heroics. Their toughness is the stuff legends are made of.
Aja Louther is an artist, dancer, dreamer and writer, drawing inspiration from intricate human connections. Her work focuses on relationships, lifestyle, and other related topics.
