Unintentionally Dumb People Use These 11 Phrases More Often Than Regular People
RollingCamera / ShutterstockYou can tell a lot about someone based on the way they speak. Psychology professor Katherine Kinzler explained that, in addition to sharing a message through words when we talk, we are also giving others insight into who we are.
This can be helpful when you’re trying to determine how smart someone is. Without meaning to, they’ll probably give away little clues about their level of intelligence in their speech patterns. There are some phrases that typically mean someone isn’t as bright, even if they’re not purposefully trying to be that way.
Unintentionally dumb people use these 11 phrases more often than regular people
1. ‘Obviously’
Nicoleta Ionescu | Shutterstock
Sometimes people don’t want to explain their thinking because they simply have no way to do so. If you were to gently push back and ask them to back up their reasoning, but they can’t, they might throw around a word like “obviously.” In other words, what they’re saying is so true that they don’t even need to justify it.
Relying on this kind of communication pattern can be a sign of emotional immaturity. People who struggle with this get overwhelmed when they feel like someone is calling them out, and they’ll do whatever it takes to get out of that uncomfortable situation. This can include saying something that’s basically meaningless.
2. ‘You know what I mean’
GaudiLab | Shutterstock
Even when someone knows something isn’t true, or at least doubts that it is, they may refuse to abandon that line of thinking because it makes them feel like they’re right. Social psychologist Peter Ditto, PhD, said, “People are capable of being thoughtful and rational, but our wishes, hopes, fears, and motivations often tip the scales to make us more likely to accept something as true if it supports what we want to believe.”
They could use “you know what I mean” to justify their clearly wrong beliefs. Then they don’t really have to explain what they think and can just shut down the conversation, even though no one actually knows what they mean.
3. ‘Just saying’
simona pilolla 2 | Shutterstock
Some people don’t handle disagreement very well and try to avoid working through the problem at all costs. They’ll become overly defensive and try to make the other person feel bad for questioning them. This is when phrases like “just saying” pop up.
This is an example of someone being intolerant, meaning they get irrationally angry when someone doesn’t see things their way. This makes them feel invalidated and personally attacked, even though it doesn’t have anything to do with them personally at all. It can lead them to say things that feel really unnecessary.
4. ‘Everyone knows that’
fizkes | Shutterstock
Smart people are willing to look beyond their own opinions and beliefs and consider that they may be missing something, or even be wrong. On the other hand, people who are on the unintentionally dumb side are going to be more likely to hold tight to their beliefs and not accept anything that points in another direction.
This is an example of confirmation bias. A paper published in the journal eNeuro defined this as “a cognitive bias that allows us to fool ourselves by selectively filtering data and distorting analyses to support favored beliefs or hypotheses.” It’s basically what happens when someone manipulates information to fit their own narrative.
This kind of person isn’t open to new ideas, especially if they contradict their own. Instead, they consider what they believe to be fact, and they expect everyone else to do the same.
5. ‘Look it up’
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock
Telling someone to do some research on their own isn’t really a bad thing, especially in the world we live in where it can be hard to tell what’s real and what’s fake. But, someone who’s lacking in intelligence might tell someone to do this because they just don’t know the answers themselves. They can repeat things they’ve heard before, but they can’t actually back them up.
In one study, researchers discovered that this can be a dumb thing that even smart people do. Unsurprisingly, people with high IQs were found to be really good at defending a certain belief, but it only worked if they actually agreed with that belief. “Look it up” is really just a way for someone to say they don’t have the evidence themselves.
6. ‘No offense, but…’
BearFotos | Shutterstock
There may be some unfortunate situations where it’s actually important for someone to clarify that they don’t mean to be offensive, but on the whole, this phrase is used to soften a blow. Someone has something difficult to say, and they’re scared of sharing their thoughts, so they try to sugarcoat it and make it less blunt.
This happens a lot in professional settings, as CEO George Deeb pointed out. Although he argued that people shouldn’t be flat-out rude, his expert opinion is that they should share what they’re thinking with confidence and let the other person decide how to interpret it. It may actually help them, but burying the lede never will.
7. ‘Whatever’
ArtMari | Shutterstock
“Whatever” is an interesting word, because sometimes it’s just used as a filler. It’s also frequently used to avoid conflict, though, which isn’t always the good thing we think it is.
Arguing isn’t anyone’s favorite way to spend time, but it’s a crucial part of healthy communication. It gives people the chance to work through problems instead of just ignoring them, and it helps people understand each other better.
When someone senses conflict rising, they might say “whatever” to put an end to it. But being willing to work through the hard things is a sign of emotional intelligence.
8. ‘It is what it is’
Andrii Iemelianenko | Shutterstock
If someone says this, they’re basically accepting something as reality, even if it’s not true. This is similar to confirmation bias because they’re refusing to see past their preconceived notions, no matter how flawed they may be.
“It is what it is” implies that nothing can change, but that’s obviously not true. A smart person will be able to see how their views can evolve over time and how they can be proven wrong and come to an even better conclusion. They would never just accept something at face value when there’s clearly more to the story.
9. ‘Trust me’
Rapeepat Pornsipak | Shutterstock
When someone wants to make a point but doesn’t have any real evidence to back it up, they may tell you to just trust them. That’s not good enough for a smart person. They’ll want to know what makes something true and not just take someone else’s word for it.
Someone who says it’s enough to just trust them is dealing with a form of cognitive distortion known as emotional reasoning. This means that they think their feelings indicate whether something is true. They’re operating solely off of emotion instead of any facts, which can be dangerous, especially if the issue being discussed is really serious.
10. ‘The news lies’
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock
This can be a tricky one, because most of the news outlets we have available these days do report on issues with a certain level of bias. It’s important to recognize that and get facts from multiple sources before coming to a conclusion. Still, if someone refuses to take anything on the news seriously and seems like they’re veering into conspiracy theorist territory, they might not be very sharp.
Political rhetoric about mainstream media is particularly volatile right now, but people’s mistrust in it has actually been growing for decades. The advent of social media has just made things worse. It’s good to not take anything on the news completely at face value and do your own research, but totally rejecting the media in favor of outlandish ideas isn’t the answer either.
11. ‘Everyone’s talking about it’
DexonDee | Shutterstock
Similarly, using the idea that something must be true if everyone is saying it isn’t an accurate way to measure the truthfulness of a certain concept. This can be especially true for things that go viral. An example would be thinking if everyone is saying that that celebrity hasn’t been seen in public for a while because they’re in rehab, the strength of those numbers must be correct.
Psychotherapist F. Diane Barth, LCSW, argued that it’s not good to believe everything that you see on the internet, or everything people keep repeating, even if it’s likely true. She said, “Knowing things about another person that they haven’t told us themselves (often things they would tell us when they got to know us better and felt safe with us) can interrupt the natural flow of a developing relationship.”
It may not feel like it, but accepting a rumor as the truth often involves passing some kind of unfair judgment, which smart people avoid doing. They’re always willing to give others the benefit of the doubt and wait until they’ve heard from the source.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
