9 Ways High-IQ Women Hide The Fact That They're Actually Having A Mental Breakdown
voronaman / ShutterrstockHigh-IQ women tend to be assertive and in control of their lives. A lot of them are type A, and they don’t let anything ruffle their feathers or reveal their weaknesses. This makes them feel like they have to mask their emotions, which can make negative feelings even worse and damage their relationships.
Everyone covers up how they’re really feeling sometimes out of necessity, but making a pattern out of doing so can have major emotional consequences. Still, a woman with a high IQ would never let other people see that she’s really breaking down. These are some of the ways they hide the fact that they’re falling apart, so no one sees them as anything less than perfectly put together.
Here are 9 ways high-IQ women hide the fact that they’re actually have a mental breakdown
1. Being even more productive than usual
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Women with high IQs are rarely just sitting around doing nothing, but this will intensify when they’re really struggling. As sad as it may be, our society places a lot of value on what someone is able to accomplish, which leads many people to think their worth is tied to their productivity.
These women might falsely believe that if they’re productive, it can erase the bad things happening in their lives. This can turn into a dependence on being productive.
Throwing yourself into your work when everything else is going wrong is very common, especially for people who are already used to being high achievers, but that doesn’t make it healthy.
2. Strictly controlling the little things
Wanting to control as much as you can is a normal human instinct. It makes us feel more secure and soothes our fear of the unknown. It’s definitely possible to take this to an extreme, though, and think that you need to have the tightest grip on your life possible.
If a woman is experiencing some kind of breakdown, she can’t really exercise any control over that aspect of her life. But she can choose to obsessively control everything else so she still feels like she has some sense of power. It may not seem like a problem for someone to hold themselves to a super strict morning routine, but even the little things can get out of hand when someone focuses on them too intensely.
3. Removing themselves from social situations
If something is really wrong, other people will eventually notice it, no matter how much someone tries to cover it up. This could lead her to take a step back from socializing and keep to herself as much as possible.
Unfortunately, what feels safer in the moment will harm her in the long term. Social isolation can lead to multiple physical and mental health problems and even increase someone’s mortality rate. It’s times like these that she needs the support of good friends and family instead of pulling away from them.
4. Leaning into perfectionism
A woman with a high IQ might already have perfectionist tendencies, but she’ll lean on them even more heavily in the case of a breakdown. Because she doesn’t want anyone to know that something is seriously wrong, she has an image to maintain, and she’ll do it by holding herself to the highest standards possible.
As a woman, she probably already feels a lot of pressure to always put extra effort in, but relying on perfectionism to make it seem like everything is fine is dangerous. Perfectionism is known to play a role in developing mental health issues like anxiety and depression, so trying to appear like all is well could actually make her breakdown even worse.
5. Refusing any help
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Most women of any intelligence level feel like they’re supposed to be superheroes who can do anything on their own. As psychologist Dr. Julie Radico, PsyD, said, “Our unhelpful thoughts can lead us to believe that we don’t deserve help, or that it’s not OK to ask for help, or that help won’t be given if we do ask for it.”
This is an even bigger problem for high-IQ women because they can become especially prideful and stubborn in their self-sufficiency. Just like they think they’re better if they accomplish more, they also believe they’re better if they do it all themselves. Plus, admitting they need help could signal that something is wrong, and they wouldn’t want to do that.
6. Tell people what they want to hear instead of the truth
We all have expectations of the people in our lives, even if they’re not intentional. Some of those expectations come from what’s considered socially acceptable, which is often predictable. When you have a conversation with a friend, you’re probably not expecting them to tell you something shocking that will change your perspective.
This is why these women often choose to just adhere to social norms and say whatever other people want or expect to hear from them instead of going deeper. That’s understandable because avoiding vulnerability can serve as a defense mechanism, and nothing would be more vulnerable than admitting to having a breakdown. Maintaining superficial connections and keeping everyone at arm’s length comes with challenges, though.
7. Use self-deprecating humor
A woman who’s trying to keep everyone from discovering that she is having a hard time might try to deflect attention from her real problems by poking fun at herself and making jokes at her own expense. Maybe she’s having a hard time sleeping, and a friend notices how tired she is, so she makes a lighthearted quip that makes it seem like no big deal.
Self-deprecating humor can be a good thing because it can strengthen connections and actually increase someone’s confidence by helping them see that their flaws aren’t the end of the world. It has downsides too, though, because it can very easily turn into self-criticism. Even if a woman uses humor in a healthy way, it could still serve as a disingenuous cover-up for her problems.
8. Think about their emotions instead of feeling them
Rational thinkers tend to look at their emotions through the lens of logic rather than actually letting themselves feel them. There’s nothing wrong with analyzing your emotions in this way as long as you also let yourself fully experience them without constraints. But it’s easy to confuse the two and assume that thinking about emotions is the same as feeling them.
It’s key to really feel things, though, because it “prevents emotions from having undue influence over our actions,” according to psychologist Marc Brackett, PhD. Intelligent women will probably find it easier to consider their emotions from a logical perspective because it’s more comfortable and familiar, but refusing to feel won’t help them in the long run.
9. Compartmentalizing so they can still show up in other areas
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Compartmentalization is considered a defense mechanism, but it isn’t always a bad thing. Everyone will experience moments when they have to push aside something that’s bothering them so they can focus on what must be addressed immediately.
However, it’s easy for it to become unhealthy. Think of a woman who’s having a breakdown that’s keeping her from getting enough rest and performing basic self-care tasks, but is still able to perform well on the job. She could convince herself that it’s alright to neglect one part of her life as long as she still does something else well, but that’s a dangerous road to go down.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
