9 Ways To Tell Someone Was Raised In A Small Town Within The First 5 Minutes Of Meeting Them
VesnaArt / ShutterstockMost people who have spent the majority of their lives in either a small town or a big city don’t spend much time thinking about the differences between the two. When you’re used to one, it can be hard to imagine what the other would be like.
People from small towns have a special kind of charm that comes from living in a close-knit community and moving at a slower pace. Although you won’t always be correct, there are some pretty strong tells that make it easy to guess someone is from a small town when meeting them for the first time.
Here are 9 ways to tell someone was raised in a small town within the first 5 minutes of meeting them
1. They know everyone’s business
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People who aren’t familiar with small-town life would probably guess that those who were raised in that environment are used to everyone in town at least being acquainted with each other, but it often goes deeper than that. Small-town people don’t just know who people are, but they also know what their stories are.
Even though we’re usually warned against gossiping, psychology professor Frank T. Andrew, PhD, said that it’s just an act of social connection that we probably picked up from our ancestors through evolution. That’s good to know because gossip is basically what fuels small towns. Everyone knows way too much about everyone else, and there’s really no way to change that.
2. They have a different concept of time and distance
It may seem strange when everyone has the same number of hours in a day, but according to a theory known as time perception, the way we all experience time is actually subjective and unique. This is especially clear when you meet someone from a small town who seems to think about time and even distance in a completely different way.
City dwellers are used to most of the places they need to go being within walking distance and taking mere minutes to reach. On the other hand, someone from a small town might feel like traveling to the closest mall, 25 minutes away, really isn’t that far. Even things like this, which seem minor, can show how different someone’s upbringing was.
3. They know where almost everything is
On a similar note, people from small towns tend to know where almost everything is located and have a really good handle on directions. It’s not exactly difficult to develop this skill when you grew up in an area that isn’t very big, after all.
Their sense of direction is probably a bit different, though. Instead of knowing you need to take two lefts and a right to get somewhere, they can explain where it is in relation to the nearest grocery store. They’re also aware of all of the best shortcuts to take on back roads to beat their version of traffic.
A 2014 study revealed that both humans and animals use something called landmark-based piloting to navigate, which means using familiar landmarks to identify where they are and where they need to go. Some people might be more accustomed to Waze or Google Maps, but this is a valid way to get around.
4. They understand the power of a family name
Maintaining a good reputation is beneficial no matter where you live, but it’s considered even more important in small towns. In a 2023 study, researchers explained that rural areas have higher social visibility because of their interconnected social networks. In other words, because everyone knows each other, any missteps you make that could damage your reputation are magnified.
Part of knowing details about everyone’s lives is knowing what kind of reputation they have and what status they hold in society. Small towners don’t always come by this in a completely fair way, though, because family names are also very powerful. People know which families have money or a legacy of public service, and what’s expected of the next generation.
5. They’ve known the same people for years
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Anyone can hold onto a friend they made at a young age for life, but this is especially common in small towns. The classmates someone had in kindergarten are the same ones they graduated high school with, and having a childhood best friend they’ve remained close with isn’t a nice, fun fact because it applies to pretty much everyone.
Long-lasting friendships come with a lot of benefits, like a deeper level of vulnerability and an understanding of how to best support one another. Because of this, these folks might just have an advantage.
6. They’re confused by things that are normal in cities
If you stick someone from a small town in the middle of a big city, it would probably take them at least a few minutes to adjust. They won’t be used to that kind of heavy traffic or to so many pedestrians traveling on foot. Everything from navigation to driving will feel entirely different to them.
Data from the Census Bureau shows that the United States is mostly made up of smaller towns, but a large portion of the population lives in cities that are continuing to grow. Moving, or even just traveling, from one to the other can cause quite the culture shock.
7. They’re friendlier
The idea that people who live in cities are a bit ruder is nothing more than a stereotype, but small towners do have some characteristics that make them seem extra friendly. Going to the store or the gym without running into someone they know is virtually impossible. Even if they aren’t familiar with them, they’ll likely find it completely normal to make small talk with a cashier or to wave to a driver who stops to let them pass.
Treating others with this kind of respect and kindness is good for both the giver and receiver on a physical and mental level. This isn’t unique to people who grew up in places with a smaller population, but it does contribute to that feeling of hospitality people claim to feel in small towns.
8. They have different ideas about safety
Living in an area where it feels like you know everyone can give you a greater sense of security. Crime does tend to be more common in cities, which makes people in rural areas do things a little differently.
A poll from HuffPost and YouGov found that only 7% of Americans leave their doors unlocked in this era of true-crime documentaries and a 24-hour news cycle, but it is a more common practice among people in small towns. They don’t just ignore important safety measures altogether, but they might not prioritize them as much because they simply never needed to.
9. They think of mid-sized areas as cities
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Someone from a small town’s definition of a city is probably going to be less than accurate. Technically, places like Los Angeles and Chicago are real big cities, but any place that’s bigger than the rural area they’re used to will feel like a city to them. This could mean that someone from a small town in North Carolina refers to a trip to Raleigh as going to the city.
There are actually a lot of different ways to classify what counts as an urban area, so they might not be entirely wrong, especially when they’re comparing it to their hometown that only has one grocery store. Still, it does feel a bit strange to think of yourself as being in the city just because there are more lanes on the highway.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
