Women Who Can Be Alone Without Needing Validation From Anyone Can't Be Controlled In These 11 Ways
Konstantin_Konovalov | ShutterstockWhile many people struggle with people-pleasing tendencies, it's much more common in women. Whether it's due to the household in which they were raised or the pressure from society to shrink themselves and be subordinate, it's hard for women to feel fully in control of themselves and their lives. But they can learn a thing or two from others, because women who can be alone without needing validation from anyone can't be controlled in very specific ways.
Despite what others say, women like this are strong, confident, and fully aware of their place in the world. They maintain their boundaries, don't apologize for pushing back against social norms, and speak up for themselves. They don't give into pressure from others, choosing instead to move through life on their own terms.
Women who can be alone without needing validation from anyone can't be controlled in these 11 ways
1. They won't be guilt-tripped
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While many women struggle to control their people-pleasing tendencies, women who can be alone without needing validation from anyone can't be controlled this way. They stand their ground and speak their mind, never giving into guilt-tripping.
According to licensed psychologist Lynn Margolies, "Guilt-tripping is an unwitting attempt to manage perceived rejection, loneliness, or other difficult feelings by controlling other people, seeing them as responsible for our state of mind, and trying to force them to make up for our suffering or else pay the price."
So, if a relationship doesn't feel mutual or connective in any way, women like this are wary. They're self-assured enough to pick up on this, which is why they aren't easy to control in the first place.
2. They only need their own approval
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Nowadays, it's hard not to chase other people's approval. As hyper-independent as a woman may be, it doesn't mean she hasn't been raised to chase approval since a young age. Whether it was parents, teachers, or past partners, some women are expected to cater to others.
But because certain women only need their own approval and nobody else's, they aren't about to grovel at someone else's feet. When push comes to shove, these women trust themselves and their intuition, so they never chase anyone's approval.
3. They refuse to be pushed around
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It's hard to say no to someone, but many women find themselves being pushed around to make others feel content. They may love their parents or partner, but this doesn't mean they'll sacrifice their mental well-being for them.
As a study published in European Neuropsychopharmacology explained, "Good mental health can be defined as a state of well-being that allows individuals to cope with the normal stresses of life and function productively." So, some women are quick to stand firm and refuse to be taken advantage of. After all, being taken advantage of or made to feel voiceless isn't a way to live.
4. They don't fear abandonment
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While independence is great, nobody wants to be alone in life. Despite how amazing it is to cut off toxic influences, isolating oneself from people tends to impact their mental health for the worse. Especially if this person decides to live independently, fear of abandonment can quickly develop and impact their relationships.
It's not a great feeling to be ghosted or have a small support group, but a fear of abandonment can lead to women acting like the worst version of themselves. From tolerating mistreatment to becoming toxic themselves, leading any relationship through the lens of fear is the number one way to make anyone miserable.
5. They don't feel pressured to compromise boundaries
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Relationships are built on mutual sacrifice and compromise; however, there are certain things that aren't worth compromising boundaries for. Especially when it comes to safety and well-being, women should never feel the need to push their comfort zone to the side in favor of catering to others. Unfortunately, learning to set clear boundaries isn't always easy.
As licensed psychologist Jordan Fiorillo Scotti revealed, "Boundaries aren't static, so creating and maintaining them is always a work in progress. But when we find ourselves feeling weary, burnt out, resentful, or angry, chances are we have some work to do on our boundaries." Love aside, this is their life at the end of the day, and they don't want to live one they want to run away from.
6. They ignore the silent treatment
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Nobody likes feeling invisible. It doesn't matter who it's coming from, whether it's a stranger or a loved one; feeling isolated or socially rejected is a painful experience that anyone wants to avoid. Still, some women won't allow others to manipulate them. As painful as it may be, they'd rather deal with their petty tactics than ever compromise themselves and their freedom.
As much as others try, they aren't about to fold because a person isn't mature enough to respect their decision. No matter how painful it may feel, they know that learning to stand their ground is the only way they'll truly live life.
7. They don't allow themselves to be rushed
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It's not uncommon for the average woman to feel rushed, whether it's her partner wanting her to move along or her kids needing her attention. It's a part of life, but an annoying aspect nonetheless. But women who can be alone without needing validation from anyone can't be controlled in these ways.
No matter what, they take their time. Even if it means being late, they'd rather go slowly than feel pressured. In the moment, it may annoy those around them, but slowing down is crucial. As author and coach Victor Lipman warned, "Energy is good, of course, but like any good thing, an excess of it can cause problems too. A steady diet of frenetic rushing around wears you out, both mentally and physically."
8. They don't get caught up in other people's opinions
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While it may feel like common sense, not caring about what other people think is fairly difficult. From parents giving their two cents to friends using insults under the guise of "keeping it real," learning to brush off people's opinions is easier said than done.
But these women don't care. Due to their confidence, they trust in themselves to make the right decision. Now, does this mean they completely disregard others? Of course not, but if people are expecting their opinions to change her decision, they may be sorely mistaken.
9. They aren't emotional
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It's hard not to let one's emotions get the better of them. While they'd love to be strong and put-together, people are human beings. So, yes, even the strongest person in the world can crumble or lose their cool every so often. But while these women have emotions, they don't allow it to lead them astray. Whether it's figuring out who to date or thinking in the middle of an argument, they know when to step away and take a break.
As licensed therapist Jason N. Linder said, "Pausing, even for a few seconds, is a powerful strategy that allows us to regain clarity and synchrony with our bodies, emotions, and thoughts so that we can respond wisely. This momentary break provides an opportunity for the nervous system to recalibrate, allowing us to reflect on the issue at hand more clearly, consider the other person's perspective, and evaluate the potential consequences of our actions and words."
10. They don't take criticism personally
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Women who can be alone without needing validation from anyone can't be controlled by criticism, as they let it roll right off their backs. It's extremely difficult to not take a person's critiques and views to heart, but because they don't aspire to impress anyone, it's just something they accept as part of life.
Through experience and growing confident within themselves, they've learned to take criticism in stride. Rather than viewing it as the end of the world, they see it as another way they can improve themselves.
11. They never get jealous
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By creating their own ideal life, women who refuse to accept validation from others are happier than ever. Living and following their own dreams, they have no room to be unhappy. However, it doesn't come easily, especially when average people feel jealous about the successes of others.
As forensic psychologist Gill Harrop said, "Living your best life is about investing in your well-being over time. This includes reflecting on what's happened in the past and identifying what worked well for you, as well as examining the choices that did not work out as you had hoped. Reflecting on our past behaviour helps us to make better decisions going forward. We have a wealth of information available to us in the form of our experiences, we just need to make the conscious decision to use it."
While it sounds easy in theory, learning to put oneself first isn't all that easy. Yet, one way or another, these women truly understand that they're in charge of their own lives and happiness. And they don't let anyone else decide it for them.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
