If A Man Tells Other People These 10 Things About His Wife, He's Likely Not A Very Good Person
Pixel-Shot / ShutterstockOur partners should value us. There is no excuse for people who do not treat us the way we know we should be treated. It can be especially painful when a husband goes behind his wife's back, telling other people private or unflattering things about her and betraying her trust.
Some men will even say these things right in front of their wives. He might do this to get a rise out of her or put her on the spot. His goal may be to embarrass her in front of other people. This shows that he is not a very good person. Instead of nurturing their relationship, he is putting his wife on the spot. He may enjoy poking fun at her or revealing her secrets. Whatever it may be, he betrays her trust by saying these things in front of other people.
If a man tells other people these 10 things about his wife, he's likely not a very good person
1. Private details about her
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There are certain things women do not want other people to know. With our partners, we feel like we can be our most vulnerable. From health struggles to family troubles, there are certain things we feel comfortable sharing only with certain people. When we are comfortable with someone, we likely trust them. In a marriage, you should be able to rely on your spouse to keep things to themselves.
By sharing his wife’s personal details, he is betraying her trust. He is spreading things that she thought would only stay between them. It can be painful, and it makes him a very bad person. Self-disclosure brings people together, but what is shared should stay between two people.
2. HIs negative thoughts about her appearance
When we’re in a relationship, we hope our partner is attracted to us. While we may not want to seem shallow, attraction does matter. While looks aren’t everything, wives are going to care if their husbands are attracted to them or not. It’s not easy to hear your partner say they aren’t thrilled with your looks anymore. However, it’s even worse when he is telling his friends this.
Going behind your wife’s back to share how unattracted to her you are makes you a bad person. Sharing this with people is painful, especially if they haven’t brought these feelings to her attention. What is said in confidence is sure to get back to her. Men who are comfortable having this type of conversation may not care about their wives.
3. How he thinks she compares to other women
Even in the strongest relationships, people can still find other things attractive in random people. With no intention of being unfaithful, some men notice attractive qualities in women who are not their wives. It’s not always easy to hear, but it is part of life. However, if a man is constantly comparing his wife to people he thinks are more attractive, he’s probably not a great person. It’s even worse if he is talking about this behind her back to his friends.
Whether he’s comparing her looks or comparing their relationship, this weakens the trust between them. Some men may never feel satisfied in their relationships, which is bad enough, but sharing this information with other people is extremely hurtful.
4. Things that make her self-conscious
Most women are hard on themselves. They pick apart their appearance because they do not feel good enough. In a marriage, you expect your partner to pick you up when you are down. You want them to reassure you. If a man does anything but this, he is probably a bad person.
If a man points out his partner's flaws, it’s a serious issue, as doing this can make her feel even lower. Sharing her vulnerabilities with other people shows he's not only a bad husband but a bad person.
5. Why he blames her for their issues
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We all vent to friends. It’s important to have a sounding board when we are struggling with something. However, there’s a difference between having an open conversation and actively bashing your partner. Men who have no issue pointing their fingers at their wives and talking poorly about them to their friends are not very good people. Instead of owning their mistakes, they want to avoid all accountability. They can do so by confiding in people who will be quick to take their side.
Blame is a frustrating cycle in a relationship. Instead of each person owning up to their own bad behavior, they’re pointing the finger solely at their spouse. By telling other people these things, it doesn’t make him look like a good husband.
6. Details that belittle her
We all dislike things about our spouses. Let’s be honest, there will always be little things that get under your skin. However, how we choose to talk to them about it is what matters most. In a healthy relationship, these are likely little things like how she loads the dishwasher. In problematic relationships, a man may belittle his wife in front of others. The things he dislikes about her may spill out, and it shows that he is not a very good person.
Some people can easily empower others, but struggle to do the same for their partner. By belittling his spouse, he’s showing that he doesn’t respect her. It’s a sign that he is not a good husband.
7. Lies about her behavior to gain sympathy
We all mess up in relationships. There will be times we aren’t proud of our behavior. This goes for both partners in a marriage. However, sometimes, one partner will point the finger at anyone but himself. If he needs to make up lies to do so, he may have no trouble doing so. By telling these lies to his friends to gain sympathy, he is bashing her behind her back. This is a sign of a bad person.
Research has found that men are more likely to tell more lies than women. If a husband is doing this, it’s clear he only cares about himself and his image. He may want to look a certain way even if his real behavior says otherwise.
8. That he feels trapped in the relationship
Certain circumstances can make people feel trapped in a relationship. However, if a man is telling others that he feels trapped in his relationship to make excuses for why he’s still with her, it’s a sign he is a bad person. Sometimes, a man may try this excuse with other women.
If he is doing things behind her back, he may try to tell people that he is a victim when, in reality, he is likely causing harm, as this behavior can damage their wife’s reputation.
9. Her deepest secrets
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Often, we tell our partners our deepest secrets. It’s not easy, but when we feel safe with someone, we trust them to keep it. Some men shouldn’t be trusted with this information. If you can’t trust your husband, it can make you wonder who you can trust at all. Trust is at the foundation of every healthy relationship. If a man shares his wife’s secrets with other people, he’s not a good person.
“A trust may begin as a leap of faith, but ultimately, it is not a gift. It must be earned. Communicating is always very important, but this is especially critical when a violation occurs,” says Joel Block, Ph.D. “Specific conversations must occur to mend a broken trust. Through unmistakable effort, the offending partner must demonstrate that they are committed and that it is emotionally safe to be intimate with them.”
10. That he wants a divorce
If someone threatens divorce in private, it’s bad. It’s unfair to his partner. He is trying to get under her skin and bring her anxiety. It’s even worse if he does this behind her back. If he’s talking poorly about her and telling people he is going to end the marriage while she has no idea he's thinking this, it’s a betrayal of their bond.
Divorce is a serious topic. When a man is willing to throw the word around other people, telling them how his wife isn’t worth maintaining a relationship with anymore, it’s downright painful.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
