11 Phrases Women Can't Believe So Many Men Still Have The Audacity To Say
MAYA LAB / ShutterstockThe audacity of some men. It really should be studied. How they feel completely fine saying something so out of line is almost like a work of art.
There are certain phrases women have no time for. When they hear a man say them, they are instantly uninterested. Whether it’s a long-term partner or someone new in their life, these words can scare even the kindest women away. Women are known to put up with more than they should in a relationship. They may struggle to set boundaries and accept treatment they don’t deserve. But even for women like this, these specific phrases are a red flag.
These are 11 phrases women can't believe so many men still have the audacity to say
1. ‘You should smile more’
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Unfortunately, I am sure every woman has heard this phrase before. Walking down the street, you may have heard a man remark on how you’d be prettier if you smiled. Sometimes, they have the audacity to ask you to smile for them. It feels creepy and is often degrading. We aren’t on the planet to look pretty for them. It’s frustrating to hear this.
They may have good intentions at times. However, it still doesn’t feel right to hear someone say this to you. They may think they are flirting with you, but the truth is, they are just making you uncomfortable.
2. ‘My ex is crazy’
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The blame game. We have all met a guy who acts like this. Instead of owning up to his bad behavior, he’d rather point the finger at anyone else. By claiming their ex is crazy, they may try to avoid taking responsibility for what they did to her. If she makes accusations or they had a rough breakup, he can pretend she is the crazy one. He wants you to think that he didn’t do anything wrong, and certainly wouldn’t try to hurt you.
Women can’t believe men dare to say this phrase. Instead of holding themselves accountable, they want to make another woman look bad. Most will not fall for this trick.
3. ‘Calm down’
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I don’t know about you, but nothing makes me angrier than being told to calm down. Sure, I may be acting out, but telling me to relax will not get you the response you want. When someone tells you to calm down, it feels dismissive. It doesn’t feel like they’re putting effort into understanding where you are coming from. Instead, they want you to chill out for their sake.
There are far better things to say when emotions are high. Women can’t believe some men still have the audacity to tell them to calm down in stressful situations.
4. ‘You’re overreacting’
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No one wants to be told they’re overreacting. If something hurts our feelings, we want it to be acknowledged. When a man says this phrase, he’s dismissing your feelings. He isn’t trying to understand where you are coming from or make up for his bad behavior. Rather, he thinks you are the problem. It’s a phrase women can’t believe men still dare to say.
Invalidation can negatively impact a relationship. Instead of showing how much he cares, he’d rather you keep your opinions to yourself to save him the trouble. There is more to the ‘overreaction’ than he may realize.
5. ' I said you can't talk to them’
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If a man says this phrase to you, run. This is an attempt to isolate you from other people. Whether he’s talking about friends or family, he is putting you at risk by asking you to rely only on him. If he asks you to avoid certain people, he likely has unsafe motives. It’s a sign that he wants you for himself. This is a classic case of control issues.
Men who say this have no idea how much audacity they have. Many women refuse to be controlled, and when they hear this phrase, they know to run for the hills. He doesn’t have pure intentions if he wants to be the center of your universe and alienate you from people who care.
6. ‘Who are you texting?’
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Some men may not tell you who you can talk to, but there will be signs that he isn’t happy with the decisions you’ve made. If you feel like he is always looking over your shoulder when you are on your phone, he probably is. Seeing you text someone he doesn’t approve of can complicate things. Instead of allowing you to have friends, he may try to control the situation and make you feel bad for who you’re talking to.
This is a sign of low self-esteem. He may view everyone in your life as a threat. When he uses this phrase to try to make you feel bad for his own problems, he sure has the audacity.
7. ‘I’m just being honest’
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Saying ‘I’m just being honest’ is an easy way for a man to say something rude without taking accountability for how his behavior makes others feel. If he hides behind ‘honesty,’ he can act like he is doing you a favor. It’s like he’s giving you unwarranted advice while also hurting your feelings in the process. This phrase takes true audacity to say. Even if they’re trying to be helpful, delivering advice kindly is important.
“How many times have you had your feelings hurt by people speaking to you in the name of ‘telling the truth?’ They may say things such as ‘you’re so controlling,' or 'you care more about your work than you do me,' or 'you’re so self-centered.' These and other hurtful and insensitive comments have all been made in the name of 'telling the truth,” says Avrum Weiss, Ph.D.
8. ‘It was just a joke’
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If a man says something harmful and follows it up with, ‘It was just a joke,’ I know he isn’t serious about having a positive relationship with me. Likely, he knew the words he said were going to hurt my feelings. Instead of carefully picking his words, he said exactly how he felt, then tried to laugh it off. This is painful. Likely, the ‘joke’ he made wasn’t funny at all.
There is always a bit of truth in a ‘joke.’ When a man says this phrase, he is showing you disrespect but hoping you’ll laugh along with him. It’s not just a joke, and your feelings are valid.
9. ‘You’re not like the other girls’
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How often have you heard this line? Some men think they can win you over by making comments like this. They want you to feel special in that moment so they can get what they want out of you. Whether it’s attention or a possible future relationship, they want to make you feel like you’re the only woman in the world. However, many of us have heard this same phrase repeated by countless other guys who thought they could easily reel us in.
I don’t know about you, but I’m a girls-girl. I don’t need a man to put down other women in an attempt to uplift me. I’m confident the other girls are pretty cool, too.
10. ‘You wouldn’t understand’
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Many women can’t believe men throw around the phrase ‘you wouldn’t understand’ as much as they do. Sometimes, men can think their problems are bigger than anyone else's. We couldn’t possibly understand what it is like to be them. Obviously, most women are not phased by this line. They know the guy is likely making excuses for his behavior or trying to sound mysterious with what he is going through.
The audacity in using this phrase isn’t lost on me. Women are highly empathetic. The truth is, we likely would understand. They may use this phrase to garner sympathy, but it doesn’t work if they don’t show vulnerability.
11. ‘I don’t know why I’m single’
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If you’re anything like me, you hear ‘I don’t know why I am single’ and instantly laugh. While there are exceptions to the rule, many men are single by their own doing. Whether they are constantly unfaithful or struggle to form healthy relationships, there is a reason, and he knows what it is. Or, he is blind to his own actions, and he genuinely has no idea why he can’t find a long-term partner. Whichever category he falls under, it is not a good look.
This type of man may be a ‘man-child.’ He cannot take accountability for his actions. Instead, he makes excuses or wants other people to feel sorry for him. Thankfully, this phrase doesn’t work on many women.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
