6 Rare Qualities Of Highly Sensitive People That Make Them Wonderful Partners
James Reyes | PexelsAs unique individuals, we all approach dating and relationships with different personalities, preferences, backgrounds, and ways of doing things. Sometimes, we’re even wired differently. Some of us are highly sensitive people.
Research suggests that somewhere between 15 and 30 percent of the population are highly sensitive people (HSP), meaning they process emotional, sensory, and social information more deeply than most. It's simply a different way of experiencing the world, and in relationships, it comes with some genuinely remarkable strengths that make us wonderful partners.
Here are 6 rare qualities of highly sensitive people that make them wonderful partners:
1. Highly sensitive people feel things deeply
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Highly sensitive people feel others’ emotions as intensely as their own, as supported by a 2014 study. Yes, they may cry easily when watching movies or even reading books. It’s like they’re living the character's life, fully taking in the experience as if it were their own.
When we walk into a room or are with the people we care about, we sense what they need, even before they do. Remember: being emotional is not being irrational. There is a growing body of evidence that suggests that emotional intelligence leads to better decision-making.
So if you can’t handle tears or jubilation, you’re with the wrong person. Don’t call your highly sensitive partner emotional or moody. Instead, see their empathy as a gift and an innate ability to be there for people in need. They'll be there for you when you’re down or confused. And when you’ve hit a high, they'll be elated along with you, too.
2. Highly sensitive people hear and listen more than most
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They hear things others don’t — and they hear them more intensely. This includes sounds of bubble gum chewing, the rattling of keys, or background noise when they're trying to concentrate, as supported by 2023 research.
As a highly sensitive person myself, I remember so clearly the time the house alarm system malfunctioned, and the alarm rang for two hours straight until I finally ripped the wires apart in desperation. I thought I would die from the shrillness and force of the sound. The neighborhood dogs and I suffered profusely that night.
But just as a highly sensitive person's acute hearing can bring discomfort, it can be a blessing. Think Wolverine: This superhero can hear at much greater distances than regular humans. His hearing is so fine that he can use it to react more quickly and gain knowledge sooner than others, even using it as a lie detector.
Aside from the practical survival advantages, their super-sensitive ears allow them to enjoy fine symphonies and soulful ballads. They will melt if you write them a song on your guitar.
But, do your highly sensitive partner a favor, and try not to startle them — unless you want them jumping into your arms.
3. Highly sensitive people tend to be very accommodating
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For a highly sensitive person, a lemon tastes excessively sour, and arugula excessively bitter. But, oh, they will revel in the sweetness of one single square of dark chocolate and your kisses that will never be enough.
Just be warned: They do not wish to discuss or be reminded of their perceived food issues at every meal. They'll eat what they can and want to, and that’s that.
And please don’t fret if they seem to make dinner dates more complicated. Just call ahead and make sure there is at least one item on the menu that your HSP partner can enjoy.
The benefit of their sensitive taste buds? They have compassion for the uniqueness of other people's tastes and preferences and likely want to help accommodate what makes you special in your ways, too.
4. Highly sensitive people have a heightened sense of smell
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If you're dating a highly sensitive person, they may sometimes be shy about bringing up scent sensitivities to you. Your highly sensitive partner doesn’t want to come across as rude, but maybe your girlfriend really can’t take that new soap you bought, or your boyfriend dislikes the overly sweet smell of your shampoo.
And if the smell of cooking chicken makes your sweetie gag, there is probably something wrong with it, and you’d better not eat it either. Their olfactory system is on alert for danger, and you’ll benefit from that, too.
That said, their noses are meant for enjoyment also. Their pheromones have been called to a higher duty. Get the fragrance right, and you’ll be in for a passionate night.
5. Highly sensitive people are tuned in to the small things
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Call them picky, but highly sensitive people see more than most people.
Whether it’s a typo in your resume, a missing button, or spinach in your teeth, they're going to notice — just like they pay attention to the way you bite your lip when you’re nervous or smile a certain way when you're amused. And by being aware of these subtleties, they will help you to bring your best self to the world.
Highly sensitive people are constantly processing thoughts and information and integrating them into their consciousness. It’s that depth of processing and innate curiosity that helps them to solve complex problems — including relationship ones — in an incredibly creative way.
Besides the precise vision and intricate organization of stimuli, they pick up on vibrations in their environments, just like an antenna. This is why you felt your highly sensitive partner understood you from the moment you two first met. They pay attention to the little things about you and love those quirks, too.
6. Highly sensitive people love passionately
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They care intensely about the people they love. They crave trust, depth, meaning, and authenticity in those relationships.
Highly sensitive people know that their emotions can overwhelm you at times. They absorb your energy, so ground your HSP partner by making them laugh or taking a gentle walk together in nature.
Finally, know they don’t take anything lightly, including commitment. When they've found their true love, they are not likely to stray.
And since you’re for keeps, you must know that you can’t change your highly sensitive lover. Quite simply, his or her brain is physically wired differently.
However, as highly sensitive people become more aware of their sensitivities, they can learn to adapt and grow with you.
So if you recognize yourself in this description, give yourself some compassion. The heightened beauty you see, hear, touch, sense, and feel brings richness to your relationships. Even more than this, your unparalleled ability to notice, solve problems, and heal pain makes this world a much better place.
If you're lucky enough to love a highly sensitive person, embrace them and their needs fully — and reap the benefits, too. Love your partner right and help them to optimize their gift of sensitivity, and you can expect a lifetime of loyalty, connection, passion, wonder, and joy.
Lisa Petsinis is an ICF-credentialed life and career transition coach. Her bylines have appeared on Psych Central, The Good Men Project, Parade, Prevention, The Minds Journal, PopSugar, and All4Women, as well as many others.
