People Who Stay Incredibly Relaxed Into Their 80s Usually Picked Up 7 Skills Along The Way
Evgeniia Primavera | ShutterstockAre you tired of feeling stressed out? It seems like there is always something going on, doesn't it? It starts with getting the kids ready in the morning, and then traffic on the freeway. Next thing you know, you're at work, and the day is filled with meetings, reports, and phone calls. Before you know it, the day is over. Where did the time go?
Then, you're left feeling like time is passing you by and that you're missing out. If you feel this way, you aren’t alone. More and more people are reporting an increase in stress — seriously, it's being called a 'crisis of connection.' The good news, however, is that you can take back your life and finally get the stress relief you so desperately need by picking up a few skills that will help you be more relaxed today, and well into your 80s.
People who are incredibly relaxed well into their retirement years usually picked up these skills:
1. They really and truly uplug
We live in an electronic age, and we always want to be plugged in, fearful that we may miss out on the latest news notification. Ugh, not good! This means that your brain is never unplugged. We desperately need to give our brains a break if we want to stay zen.
The next time you take a break at work, leave your phone behind. You actually won’t be missing out, and you’ll be surprised at how much more effective you’ll be. Also, and this is a biggie: Do not take any electronic gadgets with you to bed. The work will always be there the next day, and you need your rest.
2. Relaxed people are grateful people
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Want what you already have. It’s so easy to get caught up in wanting more because we're being pushed more now than ever: If you work in sales, it’s to sell more. Even if you work in a helping profession, you are often told to see more people.
Another relaxation tip? Try not to take your work home with you. Write a list of 25 things you are grateful for today: Start with a roof over your head and a warm bed to sleep in, and go from there. You can always — and we mean always — find something to be thankful for. Everything is relative.
3. They spend time with other relaxed people
Make it a goal to have more relaxed people in your life who bring good energy to the table (or the pickleball court — whatever analogy works!) Nobody likes to admit it, but the people you spend the most time with influence your energy so much, so make sure it's a shiny, happy energy, not one that chronically brings you down.
Also, on this note: Choose your battles. You don’t have to always be right. Spend time doing things you enjoy and that make you feel relaxed. You are more likely to meet other chill people you have things in common with that way.
4. Relaxed people don't overthink things
We’ve all done it: take a perfectly good situation and make it a bad situation. The next time someone compliments you, just say "thank you." Do not question why their good intentions; it's not that deep.
5. They don't forget how to have fun
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. It's true. (This goes for Jill, too, by the way.) We live in a workaholic culture: The more you work, the more recognition you get. This can be good in the beginning, but if it goes on for too long, it can often lead to burnout.
Make sure you schedule play on your calendar. What makes you laugh? Where are your favorite hangout spots? Invite a friend — ideally one with good energy, see #3 — the next time you go out to play.
6. They say less and breathe more
The next time you feel anxious or angry, stop and take a deep breath. This will help shift your focus and lower your heart rate. Set aside five minutes in the morning to close your eyes and do some deep breathing.
This will help with stress relief in your life so much — the research doesn't lie. You can always increase the time in five-minute increments. It may sound like a lot, but think about how much time you spend watching an Instagram reel of a cat who got stuck on a fence? In the big scheme of things, it’s not a lot of time.
7. Relaxed people don't let their emotions run the show
Be aware of what makes you feel stressed out or worse: who makes you feel stressed out. It’s alright to stay away from stressful situations or people, if possible. It’s easy to feel defensive or angry when things don’t go your way or when people don’t do what you want.
Remember, this is your perception of the situation and doesn’t automatically give you the right to attack back. Learn to take responsibility for your behavior. As you change, the people around you will change.
Stress doesn’t have to ruin your life or your health. Ruminate on these questions: What unnecessary stress do you have in your life? How do you plan to let go of it to be more relaxed in your 80s and your beautiful retirement years?
Remember, small steps lead to big steps. Start today by letting go of one unnecessary stressor in your life. Then, follow these points and replace them with a bonus treat, like going for a long walk or taking a bubble bath.
Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She is dedicated to helping couples and has completed Levels 1, 2, and 3 at The Gottman Institute.
