11 Psychological Habits That Make High-IQ People Feel Better Than Everyone Else
Jacob Lund | ShutterstockIntelligence is so much more than just test scores and cognitive abilities, and more than absorbing new information constantly. Thinking critically is a big part of being smart, yet there are social and emotional components of intelligence, too. If you look closely at the psychological habits that make high-IQ people feel better than everyone else, you’ll notice they use those routines to learn more about themselves.
Self-awareness is actually a sign of high intelligence. So, h high-IQ person thinks about their own thought processes, which keeps them attuned to their strengths and how they can grow as an individual. There’s a strong correlation between intelligence and being open to new experiences, and highly intelligent are always seeking to know themselves better.
Here are 11 psychological habits that make high-IQ people feel better than everyone else
1. Maintaining a humble mindset
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A high-IQ person stays humble, even if they seem like an endless resource of information. Rather than feeling superior, they don’t need to prove their intelligence to anyone else. They don’t brag, choosing instead to uplift other people and celebrate them for who they are. They stay open-minded and gentle-hearted.
Having humility means they’re always trying to understand the world on a deeper level, because they know so much exists outside their own experience. According to burnout and executive coach Anna Katharina Schaffner, the art of humility comes from acknowledging where we fall short and seeking out ways to improve.
When an intelligent person has a humble mindset, they're always open to learning from others. They glean wisdom from mentors, friends and family, and apply it to their own journey. Their innate teachability keeps them curious and striving to be their best selves.
2. Taking a direct approach to conflict resolution
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Conflict is inherently uncomfortable, but a very smart person is willing to face that discomfort head-on, because they understand that doing so creates an opportunity for deeper connections. They don’t get aggressive or confrontational, and instead, express their needs and advocate for what they deserve.
As Katie Shonk, research associate at Harvard Business School, pointed out, there are various approaches for managing conflict. Yet, communicating clearly and directly is the best way forward.
People who have a competing style of conflict resolution see it as a high stakes, all-or-nothing situation. With this style, one person wins and the other loses. It’s less like a dialogue and more like a harshly-worded monologue. Taking a compromising approach often seems like it pushes the conversation forward, but the solution that’s reached is rushed and unsustainable, because the root causes of conflict weren’t a central part of the conversation.
A high-IQ person has a collaborative conflict resolution style. They analyze the roots of the conflict so they can understand the other person’s needs on a deeper level. They believe that the people on either side of the conflict can work through the intense emotions that arise and find a real sense of peace after.
3. Accepting they don't know everything
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A core aspect of a high-IQ person’s psychological habits is accepting that they’re not actually an expert in any one area. It makes them feel better than everyone else when they have enough self-awareness to understand that their scope of knowledge and expertise is quite limited.
Psychologist David Dunning co-discovered the Dunning-Kruger Effect, the theory that human beings are ignorant of their own ignorance. In the grand scheme of things, we know very little, yet we think we know more than we do.
“We all do live with Dunning-Kruger,” Dunning explained. “You don't want to think in terms of absolutes. You want to think in terms of ideas or bets and be willing to change course. It really is a phenomenon about self-reflection.”
4. Asking thoughtful questions
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A high-IQ person asks thoughtful questions so they can understand other people, as well as themselves, on a much deeper level. They’re not satisfied with skimming the surface. Instead, they want to know the “why” underlying the “what.” They’re willing to excavate old beliefs, releasing them and relearning who they want to be and how they want to show up for themselves.
We need reflection to grow as a person, but self-awareness is equally as important. Even though most people believe they're self-aware, only 10-15% of people actually are. So, because very intelligent individuals have this quality that's essential in forming connections, it's no wonder the questions they ask others reflect this.
5. Finding meaning in the mundane
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Staying grounded in the small tasks of everyday life means high-IQ people appreciate the little things, and they don’t mind handling mundane tasks, because they can see the beauty that exists, even in boredom.
They pay attention to the rhythm of washing dishes, whether it's how their hands move or how the water from the faucet feels. They listen to the steady intake of their lungs and revel in the act of breathing fresh air, of feeling alive. A high-IQ person stays present, because they know there’s meaning in every detail.
6. Listening to their intuition
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The psychological habit of trusting their gut comes in handy for high-IQ individuals. Not only do they feel better than everyone else, but their sense of self-trust comes from honoring their beliefs and building a life based around their own set of values. They understand that tuning into their inner world isn’t a one-time event, but muscle that gets stronger with practice.
"In the face of information overload, mounting risks and uncertainty... there is often debilitating evidence that delays our decision-making. We put the choice off, rather than deciding. Trusting your gut allows leaders the freedom to move forward," business administration professor Laura Huang explained.
7. Never ignoring their emotions
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Because of their emotional awareness, when high-IQ people have psychological habits like listening to their emotions, it means they channel the same level of empathy toward themselves as they give to others. They use their emotional intelligence to self-regulate whenever they’re off-balance.
According to clinical psychologist Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, "While you might feel tempted to simply avoid feeling negative emotions, doing so tends to make things worse in the long run. It can also lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms that can hurt your health and well-being. When you learn how to accept emotions, you take away their power to hurt you. Building this skill can be challenging, but it can result in better emotional regulation over time."
8. Opening up to other people
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Being vulnerable is a strength, and intelligent people see it as something to reach for in every relationship, even when it’s scary. Because that fear doesn't go away on its own, the first step to overcoming a fear of vulnerability is acknowledging it. These individuals understand that true connection can only occur when they open up and welcome other people in.
There’s fear in vulnerability, but there’s also joy and compassion and deep affection. A high-IQ person knows that laying their souls bare is a risk, but they do it anyway, because that’s how they live out their truth.
9. Not comparing themselves to others
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By refusing to compare themselves to other people and their accomplishments, or how they perceive a stranger's life to be better than theirs, high-IQ people avoid getting swept away in measuring their lives against anyone else’s.
As psychologist Dr. Sonia Jaeger revealed, “When we engage in comparisons, we often overlook a crucial aspect: context. Comparing ourselves to someone else doesn’t account for the time, energy, and effort they’ve invested to reach their current position, both in professional and personal environments.”
Removing themselves from the negative whirlwind of emotions that come from comparison is an active practice, one that a high-IQ person is always engaging in. “Navigating the landscape of comparison requires a conscious shift in perspective,” Dr. Jaeger explained. “Your measurement for success should be your own growth and development, not the achievements of someone else.”
10. Prioritizing rest and relaxation
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A highly intelligent person puts rest and relaxation on the top of their to-do list, and it's a psychological habit that makes them feel better than everyone else around them. They truly understand that hitting pause is the only way to prioritize their physical and mental well-being. They decompress every day, no matter how busy they are.
They might have reports due at the end of the workday, but they still take time to close their computer and stretch, or sit in the sun for a few minutes, or eat a truly delicious snack. They see that rest is essential on a spiritual level, as much as a practical level. By allowing themselves to reset, they puts self-love into action.
11. Finding silver linings in every struggle
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When they try to see the silver lining in every struggle they come up against, it doesn’t mean they’re toxically positive. Instead, they allow their pain to exist, and they see their big feelings as messengers, leading them to a deeper understanding of their place in the world.
They know that laughter is still accessible, even amidst grief. They let themselves exist in the murky not-knowing of painful transitions, which gives them an opportunity to know themselves more. A high-IQ person sees struggle as a space, and they channel their emotional resilience at every turn, because they understand that this too shall pass.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a writer based in Boston, Massachusetts who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
