Smart People Get Deeply Offended By 11 Phrases That Don't Bother Simple Minds At All
Artem Markin | ShutterstockIntelligence isn't only a measure of tangible knowledge like critical thinking skills and problem-solving, it also involves self-awareness and emotional competence. While everyone would like to think they're incredibly smart, 65% of Americans overestimate their intellect, believing they’re more intelligent than the average person.
But for people who are actually intelligent, there are certain things that irk them. In fact, smart people get deeply offended by certain phrases that don't bother simple minds at all, likely due to their heightened insights and sensitivities. Because although these individuals seem to be calm in almost every situation, they're easily set off by the wrong choice of words.
Smart people get deeply offended by 11 phrases that don't bother simple minds at all
1. ‘You’re overthinking it’
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While truly intelligent people tend to opt for simplistic language and clear explanations, making their conversations and thought processes more accessible for everyone to engage with, being accused of overthinking is offensive to hear. Intelligent people tend to be more creative and curious, so they may indulge seemingly simple topics and conversations with an aura of excitement that other people don’t share.
While average thinkers ask thoughtful questions and open up conversations that may not seem necessary, for highly intelligent people, it allows them to live fulfilling lives and make strong connections. When they’re accused of overthinking something when that’s truly just their nature, it can come across as invalidating and dismissive.
2. ‘It’s not that serious’
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There’s a misconception that highly intelligent people tend to make everything more complicated than it needs to be. In reality, they’re more concerned with learning new things and making connections, so getting to know people and simplifying their language are top of mind.
Phrases like “it’s not that serious” or “it’s not that complicated” can feel dismissive and offensive to smart people, because they’re usually not trying to make things more complex than they need to be. What motivates them in conversations and social interactions is connection. If that means going the extra mile to listen to someone’s story or opening up a new perspective during a work meeting, they’re willing to do it.
While it may be annoying, uncomfortable, or even illuminating to their own insecurities to listen to, average people shouldn’t rely on phrases like this to call it out.
3. ‘It is what it is’
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Curiosity is just as important as intelligence when it comes to communication skills and personal growth, but the two are already intrinsically connected. Smart people seek out new experiences, putting themselves in front of people who know more than them and often making an effort to teach themselves new skills and perspectives.
They don’t settle for excuses like “it is what it is” to avoid the nitty gritty conversations and work. They’re willing to seek out answers and go the extra mile, taking time to learn things they don’t know.
Considering they find joy and fulfillment in learning, they’re also confident enough to admit when they’re not an expert in any particular topic. They ask for help and seek out advice to learn new things, and won't make excuses just to avoid admitting they don't know something.
4. ‘That’s just how I was raised’
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Our childhood experiences and even the relationships we had with our parents affect our adult lives. A study published in BMC Public Health argues that it’s common for adult children to cope, act, speak, and believe in ways that are heavily influenced by their upbringing.
However, many highly smart people have the self-awareness to at least recognize how their behaviors and actions are influenced by their childhoods, and actively address them. They realize that just because they had a rough childhood, they don't need to let it affect their lives.
Despite that acknowledgement, most average thinkers would prefer to shift blame and make excuses for why they’re struggling now. They use their childhood as a scapegoat for holding themselves accountable, whether it’s in relationships or at work.
5. ‘It’s just a joke’
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Many people who lack emotional intelligence and self-awareness will use the excuse of humor to mask their hurtful language or insecurity. Rather than apologizing when they hurt someone’s feelings or offend them, they use phrases like “it’s just a joke” or “stop being so dramatic” to gaslight people into feeling guilty.
Smart people get deeply offended by this phrase, though it doesn't seem to bother average minds at all. That's because intelligent people are capable of owning up to their mistakes and being adaptable, while people with average intelligence are more prone to rigidity and defensiveness.
6. ‘I don’t need to know that’
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Intelligent people seek out the answers to their questions and other people’s as well. They’re not defined by what society considers to be important or even possible, and instead they lead with their own values and interests in mind.
Whether it’s in the workplace, diving into a conversation about problem-solving from an innovative perspective, or in their relationships, trying to understand their partner on a deeper level, highly intelligent people are innately curious.
People with average minds may use phrases like this to stifle productive conversations, uncomfortable with change and differing perspectives. But for intelligent individuals, they appreciate these kinds of things.
7. ‘This is the way the world works’
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Many people feel confused about the current state of the world. It’s easy to say things like “this is just the way the world works” or “there’s nothing I can do about it” to avoid taking responsibility for small daily choices and habits. However, truly smart people find productive ways to both grapple with modern day stress and make a difference.
They’re willing to put in the effort, even if it’s simply leading with more empathy in conversations, to change assumptions about the world on an individual level. When someone uses a phrase like this, smart people are offended because they don't accept misguided beliefs that everything is simply the way it is with no room for evolvement or change.
8. ‘I don’t care’
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Many of the things that intelligent people find enjoyable aren't as entertaining for average thinkers. Outside of intelligence as a whole, everyone has their own hobbies and interests, so it’s valid to not care about something that another person is incredibly passionate about.
However, smart people find meaning in listening to other people talk about their interests. They appreciate being able to connect with others, learning new things and making safe spaces for people to share their opinions. So, it can feel offensive when someone immediately resorts to a phrase like “I don’t care” in conversations.
It not only stifles the safe space they’ve worked to cultivate, but it feels dismissive toward people who worked up the courage to speak their mind. Even in a work meeting, intelligent people share perspectives on things they may not necessarily care about for the purpose of learning and growing.
9. ‘Nothing ever works out for me’
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According to psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson, many people who truly wallow in self-pity and feel sorry for themselves don’t feel the need to express it to others. The people who rely on phrases like "nothing ever works out for me" in their daily lives are looking for pity from others, needing external praise and support to build self-esteem.
However, smart people get deeply offended by phrases like this, understanding the toxicity of cyclical external validation. They’re internally confident, driven by daily practices and social interactions that fuel their sense of self-worth.
10. ‘That’s not my fault’
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According to psychotherapist F. Diane Barth, people who take accountability and feel comfortable owning up to their mistakes generally live happier and more fulfilling lives than those who don’t. Not only are they less interested in making excuses for their misbehavior or blame-shifting, they also seek out new experiences and interactions where they’re bound to make mistakes.
They don’t view making mistakes as a sign of weakness, but rather an opportunity for growth. So, phrases like “that’s not my fault” that actively shift blame and dismiss accountability can feel dismissive and offensive for smart people.
11. ‘I never ask for help’
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People who ask for help are generally perceived to be more competent and intelligent than those who refuse to, but there’s also research to suggest that many people are yearning to feel helpful. By asking questions and seeking out advice, smart people are able to bond with others, while also learning something new.
However, average thinkers with misguided opinions about asking for help, who may view it as a weakness or a detriment to success in our competitive culture, tend to miss out on that opportunity, and generally offend people when they admit to never asking for assistance.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
