11 Ways Women Who Are Comfortable Being Alone Tend To Love People Way Differently
Rido | Canva ProWomen who are genuinely comfortable being alone tend to approach love from a place of choice, not a place or loneliness or lacking. And they may be on to something, because people who hold positive beliefs about being alone experience less loneliness when spending time on their own. When women have that foundation, it changes and reshapes the way they experience and express their love and adoration for others.
The ways women who are comfortable being alone tend to love people way differently are evident in how they not only choose partners and handle conflict, but how they value connections that make their lives fuller and healthier. By spending time with themselves, they're able to build trust in themselves, turning love into something that help them become a better person overall.
Here are 11 ways women who are comfortable being alone tend to love people way differently
1. They don't love out of need or necessity
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As much as women don't need a man to make them happy, sometimes they want to find love that can last. Women who are comfortable being alone, however, don't want to find love for the sake of having it; they want real, true connection, never allowing desperation to interfere with their common sense.
They take their time with love and carefully observe possible red flags. They look inward and figure out what works for them and what doesn't. While it's a long process, according to clinical psychologist and marriage counselor Randi Gunther, "Entering a new relationship with clarity and self-confidence, you will automatically be able to discern early-on whether a potential partner is worth your investment."
2. They respect space
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As much as people preach the importance of giving space, it's all too common to see entitled individuals cross boundaries or not respect time. But women who aren't afraid to be alone are the exact opposite, which is why they tend to love differently by respecting space.
These women have worked through any insecurities they may have. Knowing that space isn't a bad thing, they actively choose to view it as a way to reflect and become closer with their partner. And even if it doesn't work out, that's okay. Being alone doesn't equate to loneliness, and women like this are more than content with whoever in her life decides to walk away.
3. They don't tolerate unhealthy dynamics
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When a person is stuck in an unhealthy relationship, others can't understand why they would willingly put themselves through something like this. While it may seem like a case of low self-worth, the brain has a funny way of working against us.
According to psychotherapist Maggie Maher, "Our brains run on neurochemical systems that control how we form bonds and seek rewards. In a healthy relationship, these systems work together to create secure attachment. But in an [unhealthy] relationship, they trap you in a cycle that's nearly impossible to break without conscious effort."
4. They set strong boundaries
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Having learned lessons the first time around, women who are comfortable being alone tend to love people way differently when they set boundaries. Unfortunately, it's all too common for some women to bypass their own desires to keep their relationships intact.
Terrified of loneliness, they have zero boundaries and allow people to walk over them. Yet for women who aren't afraid of being alone, never setting firm boundaries is inconceivable. Knowing how harmful that is, they either love with boundaries or don't love at all.
5. They value emotional independence
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When a relationship moves too quickly, it can be a red flag, so learning to take things slow is an absolute must. As social psychologist Ronald E. Riggio explained, "We get into bad relationships when we let our emotions and passion outweigh our cognitive evaluation... Emotionally we are all in, but the cognitive part of us picks up on warning signs, but in the end, the emotions win out."
But women who aren't terrified of being alone value their emotional independence and don't confide in just their partner. Instead, they space out their connections and implement healthy coping mechanisms in their daily routine. They're less likely to enter into dangerous relationships and, by extension, learn to love in a healthier way.
6. They communicate clearly
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As crucial as vulnerability and honesty are, working up the courage to be this way is far from easy. But for women who are comfortable being alone, their communication style lets them love people in a much different, intimate way.
Their relationships are built on close-knit connections and openly discussing their needs. They communicate directly, expressing what they're thinking. And even if everyone doesn't appreciate it, they end up forming unbreakable, strong bonds to last a lifetime.
7. They take their time choosing a partner
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As happy as these women are seeing their friends and loved ones find love and start families, they don't want to rush into anything. Instead, they love differently by being intentional. They don't feel the need to start their life; rather, they take their time finding a partner that's right for them.
When people move a relationship along too quickly, it likely doesn't end well for them, because it usually takes around three years of dating to decrease the likelihood of divorce by 50%. Thankfully, women who aren't afraid to be alone almost always take their time.
8. They never chase
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Being single can sometimes feel like a lonely road. Watching everyone around them getting married or having kids, some women feel tempted to chase their happily ever after, settling for a relationship they're much too good for. While their feelings may be valid, it won't get them anywhere.
When women are comfortable being alone, they understand that everything happens in due time. They let love come to them naturally. Whether it's meeting someone new at work or connecting with a friend of a friend, they don't go out of their way to pursue someone who isn't interested.
9. They maintain their own identity in relationships
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It's all too easy for some women to get completely lost in their relationship. They change everything about who they truly are and become unrecognizable. But strong women, who don't fear being alone, maintain their identity in their relationships.
They refuse to change themselves for any man. Knowing that there's someone out there for them, they'd rather keep looking than settle for someone who doesn't accept them fully. They're truly authentic, and according to a study published in Personality and Individual Differences, authenticity leads to better well-being.
10. They’re comfortable walking away
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It's never easy walking away from someone you love, and letting go can be difficult for the average person. Already having formed strong bonds, only people who aren't afraid to be alone truly feel comfortable saying no and moving on.
For these women, they've already accepted that being single forever may be their reality. It was a process to digest, but they've learned to make the most of it and enjoy it. From working on personal development to becoming financially stable, they have no issue removing a toxic person from their lives.
11. They don’t compete for attention
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While some women know that competing for attention is horrible, they may have never had a good example of how healthy relationships were supposed to operate. It may be from narcissistic parents or toxic relationships in the past, causing them to beg for attention from their partner.
For women who have learned that competing for attention gets them nowhere, they've worked on themselves and aren't afraid to say goodbye to people who refuse to put in equal effort. According to research published in Interpersona: An International Journal, people who put in effort are seen as more romantically desirable, regardless of how successful they are. When a date isn't texting back or doesn't click with them, these women already know it's not worth pursuing.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.
