Kids Who Were Allowed To Sleep In Their Parents' Bed Usually Develop 10 Rare Traits, According To Research
Nattakorn_Maneerat | ShutterstockA child's sleeping environment from the time they're young to when they finally prefer sleeping on their own really does make a difference in the skills they develop. When children are allowed to sleep in their parents' bed for some or the entirety of the night, there might actually be a link between that and who they become as adults. Kids who were allowed to sleep in their parents' bed usually develop certain rare traits, because when a child is regularly experiencing comfort and safety during something as vulnerable as them sleeping, they not only get closer to their parents, but it shapes their development and relationship with their emotions.
A survey commissioned by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine reveal that co-sleeping is common, with 46% of parents saying they sometimes, often, or always co-sleep with a child under the age of 18. Many parents have differing opinions on co-sleeping, with some refusing it altogether, while others are more understanding. But overall, a child sleeping in their parents' bed might do more good than parents think. Those earlier experiences with closeness and the routine of sleeping with their parents can influence important aspects of a child's personality over time.
Kids who were allowed to sleep in their parents' bed usually develop 10 rare traits, according to research
1. Sensitive to others' emotions
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Children who are regularly sleeping close to their parents often end up becoming more sensitive to the emotional cues in others. They pick up on these things in a quicker succession than kids who may not have had that experience. A child might be able to pick up on when their parent is stressed or if they're particularly tired that day.
As they get older, that ability to see the emotions in others becomes a strength in the relationships they cultivate. Children who are able to accurately identify and pay attention to the feelings of others are more likely to build strong friendships, regulate their own feelings, and even avoid behavioral problems.
2. Can be deeply sentimental
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That early sense of safety a child has from sleeping in their parents' bed means they can take the most ordinary moments and turn them into something worth holding onto. Instead of letting things pass quickly, they keep it close to their heart to always look back on it with fondness.
They're the type to always feel nostalgic, even over something that others might have just brushed past without thinking about it. They feel things deeply and value the moments that make them feel secure and comfortable. That level of care goes back to the relationship they were able to have with their parents.
3. Calm in emotionally tense situations
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Kids who were allowed to sleep in their parents' bed growing up are usually not the type to immediately react when things get overwhelming as adults. When they were able to experience being consistently calmed down by their parents, their nervous systems learned that intense feelings don't always mean it's dangerous. They don't get swept away by their feelings too quickly.
They don't want to escalate a situation, but rather understand it and hopefully be able to move past it altogether. That makes disagreements they have with people less overwhelming and more something they can manage.
4. Need for reassurance in unfamiliar settings
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Because the early comfort of a child is closely tied to being in their presence at night, some children may seek out that reassurance when they're in new and unpredictable environments. This doesn't necessarily mean they're insecure but that they've associated safety to being close to their parents. As they get older, that need for reassurance doesn't ever really disappear.
Instead of asking for it directly, they look for signs that the situation they're in isn't off or even unstable. Even if they feel prepared and capable, they might still feel the need for that extra confirmation they're on the right track. Experts only conclude that children who are seeking excessive reassurance from their parents may be contributing to their increased overall anxiety.
5. Comfort with physical closeness
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Children who have co-slept with their parents growing up usually have a more normalized sense of physical affection and closeness. It means they tend to be more comfortable with hugging and touching, which means they are typically physically expressive in their relationships. Instead of needing a lot of distance to feel okay, closeness can actually bring them comfort.
When parents are showing their kids unconditional love and affection, like allowing them to share a bed at night, that's usually the easiest way for a kid to become comfortable with affection. Even something as simple as being able to sit in the same room with another person can calm their nerves better than ever having to exchange words.
6. Struggle with abrupt goodbyes
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When connection is something they were able to get from their parents, someone suddenly pulling back can feel jarring. They can feel way more intense than they might for other people, and that's just because of how constant the closeness from their parents was from a young age.
They're not used to people just getting up and leaving without saying anything first. Without the opportunity for any kind of closure, they end up ruminating on it and that makes it even harder for them to actually move on and find happiness in what has happened.
7. Very observant in relationships
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Since they were allowed to sleep in their parents' bed as a child, not only did they become good at picking up on others' emotions, but they also were able to be observant in their relationships. Especially as adults, they are really good at being able to remember details about someone that was said weeks ago and can be quite attentive to the people they care about. It doesn't mean they're being obnoxious or intrusive, but choosing to observe in a way that makes the other person feel seen.
Being highly observant is from the simple fact that they grew up being closely linked to their parents' presence and their own emotional habits. As they grow older, they are able to direct that sensitivity to others that they are trying to form some sense of connection and relationship with.
8. Dislike feeling emotionally ignored
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When the expectation of their emotions is not being acknowledged, it can be more uncomfortable. That's because kids who have grown up sleeping in their parents' bed are used to being seen in a meaningful way. So when they don't get that from others or they feel like their emotions don't matter to someone else, they retreat.
They're often the type of people who make sure others feel heard because they know how important that feeling is. When they're with someone who matches that energy, there's a level of comfortability and closeness that's established. But when that's not there, they end up feeling disconnected entirely.
9. Protective of loved ones
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Kids who experienced closeness with their parents and grew up in constant proximity with love and affection usually end up feeling protective over their loved ones. They don't just value the relationships they have as they older, they actually feel a sense of responsibility for them.
When kids grow up in an environment where their emotions are being acknowledged and accepted, they're able to develop a sense of emotional security that carries them throughout their life. They tend to notice when someone they care about isn't okay instantly.
That awareness comes from the fact that they've gotten comfortable with their own emotions enough to read others. And that level of care turns into protectiveness and wanting to see the best in those they love.
10. Naturally empathetic listeners
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Kids who have experienced going to their parents for comfort and were allowed a space to speak are better at being able to offer that to others. Being able to share a bed with their parents meant kids usually had close relationship with their parents as a result.
As adults, they're able to extend that same thing to others because of how it was modeled for them when they were growing up. Because of that, people tend to find themselves opening more to them than they planned to. That's only because of how safe they feel and know they can be heard by them.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
